u/BillyDeeWill

In replying to a frequent poster who I have interacted with dozens of times on here, it finally struck me. The people taking those garbage orders really have no concept of real world costs. A gas-n-go mentality, if you will. They never realize that there are other costs to consider.

That is, until the engine finally seizes up after running low on oil that has never been changed-ever. Or the transmission starts slipping and wont cross over into 3rd gear. Or they smell something burning in the cabin. Or the tire starts slapping the quarter panel. You get my drift.

They see a dollar amount and think “Gee, $170 dollars for a days work? I”ll take it!” Never stopping to calculate the 150 miles of driving. Or the 99 stops. Or insert the $7 to drive 2 miles for CVS or walmart and adjust accordingly. None of that registers. Once they see a $ amount that they think is sufficient, they effectively go blind to any other factors. That is the only explanation.

The cover seemed to be sturdy when I first purchased it (1150p3), but increasingly noticing small holes all over it. Was going to buy some of that flex spray and see if that would work. Cheaper than a new cover, but I don’t know if it would even work. Anyone having random holes appearing in their cover? Some outside rust on the grill, but I am mainly worried about moisture getting into the hopper.

Most days I am upbeat and calm. Some days I get frustrated and am short-tempered. I have been caring for my mother w/ Alzheimer’s for 6 years. She is solidly in the 7th stage, but it has been a gradual decline. How we got here is a long story. To (kinda) summarize: had a contentious, bittersweet childhood. She and my father never married, and split when I was a toddler. My father passed when I was barely a teenager. I only have one sibling thats nearly two decades older than I, different father.

I moved cross country to care for her. Wife and 5 kids. I am the only one working in the house. Wife helps some, but is in college and kids are all soph HS or younger. Very challenging to keep us afloat. I pray a lot, but some times I still find myself disillusioned. Occasionally I raise my voice with moms because she is not responding to my requests. Damaging plants or electronics or blinds or sticking something in toilet, etc. I feel horrible after, but otherwise she wont stop. Sometimes still wont.

I can not afford to place her in a facility at this point. When she still had her faculties, she asked me not to and I gave her my word. These 6 years have exhausted my savings and I now have $30k in debt. I get minimal outside help. My entire life has been turned upside down by this disease, not to mention watching my mother slowly slip away is like watching her die slowly. I feel like I am failing everybody, but I have to put on a happy face and pretend its all fine.

I don’t want any pity, I chose this path and didn’t have to. Even though we didn’t have the greatest relationship, I adored my mother and would do anything for her. I have just been reflecting on everything that has transpired and it seems extremely heavy when I think about it. And it is. Some days I want to just give in and fold, but things will get even worse before it gets better.

I occasionally read stories here and in some respects my situation could be even worse. I am just trying to remain thankful that God hasn’t allowed it break me. I admit sometimes I feel like I am being punished for caring too much and being too accessible. All in all I know somebody else out there is on the brink, and I just want to tell them keep the faith and give them a hug. Even as a man, oh what I would give to have one of those gentle cheek kisses and tight hugs my mommom would give that I could hear her humming while my head rested on her bosom. I have not had that kind of comforting feeling in eons.

Know I am praying for you, and one day both our parents and ourselves will have our peace restored. Keep up the good fight, and don’t forget to be gentle on yourself as well. If you’re anything like me, you have nothing to inherit except the peace in knowing you did all you could for them while they yet lived. Don’t spend any time angry with relatives for what they don’t or won’t do. There is no value in that, either. They, too, will receive their reward. Stay strong my brothers and sisters. Please remember to cast your worries and fears upon the Lord. He said to come to Him, all those that are burdened and heavy-laden. He will give us rest. It gets hard sometimes to remember to take it to Him in prayer. Thats when you pull out Isaiah 40:31 and keep pushing! 💜

As apprehensive as I was about it, last week I broke down and bought some. One package sat in the fridge for six straight days. Once I realized this oversight, I prepared myself for disappointment as the sell by date was the next day.

To my surprise it still smelled fresh. My apprehension stems from years of buying the costco cryovac and it smelling borderline rancid the same day I brought it home. Now I am perplexed; why does costco cryovac chicken smell so funky? I had chalked it up to the cryovac process, but now I know thats bunk. What gives?