u/Black_Snow_3754

I feel genuinely heartbroken and ashamed of myself. I feel sorry for the person I’ve become. I’m stuck in a situation I hate, yet I’m not accepting it, and at the same time I’m not doing enough to change it. I just keep watching myself waste time, knowing I’m capable of more, and it makes me feel pathetic. I feel like I’m trapped in this horrible loop of frustration, guilt, and helplessness, and honestly, I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I feel like I’m slowly losing myself while doing absolutely nothing to save myself…

I feel genuinely heartbroken and ashamed of myself. I feel sorry for the person I’ve become. I’m stuck in a situation I hate, yet I’m not accepting it, and at the same time I’m not doing enough to change it. I just keep watching myself waste time, knowing I’m capable of more, and it makes me feel pathetic. I feel like I’m trapped in this horrible loop of frustration, guilt, and helplessness, and honestly, I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I feel like I’m slowly losing myself while doing absolutely nothing to save myself…

I really wanna move out from here… I studied Germany get b2 level it took me a lot of energy and time/ money.. but things didn’t work out as planned (I have been called up for military service..) This has made me lose my mind, but I ignored it, and now I’m looking for an Ausbildung contract, but I can’t seem to find anything. There’s so much pressure, so many ppl applying. I don’t have enough money to buy a contract. I’m starting to lose my sense of direction. I hate every minute I spend here, and I’m overwhelmed by a feeling of shame…