u/BlueLensFlares

hi,

i have high functioning depression... i live at home (in the house i grew up), with my parents who are in their early 70s, and older sister who has low functioning depression. i work as a software developer, in a tiring job, the pay could be better... but it's not exploitative thank goodness (its about 95k in miami). been at the same company for 6 years, wear many hats...

i help my sister a lot... she has a sad story, she was valedictorian in 2004 and gave a speech in front of thousands of people at her hs graduation... (i wish i could find the dvd) then failed pharmacy school and since then... stays at home doing absolutely nothing in her bed, and she walks and talks strange. she forgets to wash her hair a lot, so i shampoo her hair and help her take a shower. she doesnt play watch tv or play anything and people are worried if she walks outside she'll get harmed. i just help her, but i dont talk to her because i have mild to moderate hearing loss and i cant hear her. she sees many doctors (all the time) but it seems to be 100% depression, not neurological. mri negative, wilson's disease, negative, which is great but... feels unresolved. i have four other older siblings... they are all doing their own thing.

i take 400mg of modafinil, about 600mg of caffeine daily, and 30g of kratom, and prozac. the modafinil is from overseas, and the kratom ive taken for 10 years. it sounds extreme but it is all regular and it has been what ive done for 10 years. i feel ok with it even though i know i am building medical debt in my body. all three are split across the day,and i have acquired such a high tolerance to all. but i simply... cannot work, and get so tired if i dont take them. ive been like this for 3 years, before then it was smaller doses of each... the dosage of each has slowly risen. but i do feel... productive and alive because of these medications. i feel like i can work and think, especially because of the kratom. it is addictive, i wont lie... but i definitely feel like i need it to be productive.

i have about 200k in student loans, 8k in credit card debt. my credit score is 580... i originally had autopay on a student loan company, then, it changed officers to nelnet, and yes, they did try calling me to let me know about late payments, but i dont answer the phone anymore because of spam calls... and it dropped and i then had to go through nelnet's challenging please wait 30 minutes to attempt logging in again form to get back on autopay. i was also pushed into getting a 3000 cleaning with arestin, and this left me with an open account that had such a challenging login mechanism. even after paying the full balance and contacting the company, i am left with a derogatory mark.

now im worried because i have help a family member get a new car but i dont think ill qualify but then that'll show that i have financial problems, which always goes back to people criticizing my job and saying you need to find a new job because they think i will listen, do that and leave my current company.

i have paid but not filed taxes since 2018, fortunately, i believe i dont owe any money and ive been transparent about my address and the irs never sends me anything except pin numbers... luckily. i am told this is an easy problem to solve though, but quite time consuming. parents want to sell the house and move because of termites and have me take on the mortgage, i have sentimental memories of this house and luckily it is in miami so it is worth a lot... but parents dont have fond memories, and it is their house but im the only one who can make the mortgage.

i have severe high functioning depression and just work 45 hours a week as a developer and then on saturday and sunday, i lie in bed for 12 hours each day, playing Fire Emblem Three Houses and Engage and trying to get to n1 and kanken level 2 japanese. i originally started playing video games as a way to curb a slot machine addiction. but then it became a way to improve my japanese. when i was younger being fluent in japanese and mandarin were dreams of mine, and that is one thing im super proud of, that ive attained almost native level japanese.

Ever since 2022 when i was dumped by a guy i really liked (im gay and everyone knows no big deal for me), i havent had any sex drive, and i dont exercise or go out because my mom says if i go for a jog, ill get run over and i dont want to hear negative comments after exercising.

work is tiring and my boss is so quixotic trying to ride this wave of AI innovation, and every day needing to churn out new ideas is exhausting. thank god i work from home and can take naps every 2 hours for 10 minutes. parents are always arguing and both need lots of help, and i give them both shots at evening time of insulin so i dont think i can get my own place... especially with my financial state. parents especially dad can get really angry easily. but he does always ask me, "did you eat today? what do you want to eat?" and cooks stuff for me. that is nice.

life could be worse but i am blessed that i have so much family around me. i do feel like sometimes i can never publicize that i might have failed in certain ways... because i get so emotional from criticism. friends message me all the time, but are disappointed when i say i still live at home with my parents. i am very blessed though, i have a sort of team-like relationship with my parents.

**i think the biggest thing is many things dont feel in my control, how difficult or sick my parents and sister get, my financial situation, company struggling, everything feels hard. nothing feels like... easily solvable. everything feels expensive and time consuming. so then i just escape to play some games (that i love)**

thank you for listening

Hi,

I've beaten the game once on hard, and thought it was a lot of fun. On hard I played until I bought DLC at chapter 23, so basically most of the game was done without DLC and it was a lot of fun.

This time I decided to do Maddening with DLC. For most of the game, I've thought Maddening with DLC is at the same level and sometimes easier than Hard with no DLC.

However that changed recently and I think I've a hit a wall at Chapter 18, the boat stage with Lindon. Most of the chapter battles have been easier, but ever since Lyn's paralogue it's been getting harder and harder. There's been like only 2 squirmishes since I've started the run and I'm always like Jackpot when I see one lol. I did so many squirmishes on Hard.

I think it's because the way I'm playing, I'm playing by trying to use everyone, but I'm just stuck and can't beat anything - Fell Xenologue chapter 3, Ike's paralogue, or Chapter 18 lol. I can't beat any of the three... Once I got Diamant down to the last health bar and died... so sad.

I think it's clear that the game on Maddening wasn't built that way and was intended to be played by using a set of your favorite 14 characters, but I still want to beat this challenge, of trying to use everyone while beating Maddening even though I'm using DLC. I don't want anyone to be benched lol.

Just curious if you beat Maddening while using everyone equally, what strategies you used. The margins to victory are so so tight, and every point counts. And I think I ruined Louis by turning him into a Royal Knight, but I really wanted his Special Defense to be higher and I really like staves -

I've started to realize how important certain emblems are (that I didn't realize were important in Hard), specifically Eirika. Without her I don't think I'd be able to beat many bosses because their defense is just so astronomically high. I have a defensive playstyle so I rely on Ike, Hector, Tiki and Corrin a lot.

I feel like the only strategy is to prepare in advance, know the maps really well before starting, and plan for the different events that will happen on the map. But it's a real challenge, and the game only gets harder from here on out... lol

Hi, playing in Maddening mode (with DLC). Just some questions.

I was wondering - I know it is possible to give basic proficiency via emblems like Leif and Edelgard and increasing bond level gets you there.

1. I was wondering if it were possible to increase weapon rank, and if it is possible, the max number of levels, like 1 or 2. Like C to B. I'm 300 hours into the game, and it seems, the answer is no.

But just wanted to check, because I'd love for my Griffin Knights to be able to rescue lol. Like raise Chloe's staff from C to B. Also, some characters have innate proficiencies, but how do we know which ones - I have to just search onine right? For example I know Mauvier has B level proficiency in staves, giving him access to warp and rescue. Is it just that, he just has that proficiency?

2. Also, is it just me, or Micaiah the only emblem ring that gives access to a new weapon skill (sort of) while being held (staves). Just confirming, no other emblem, allows that right? Minus the emblem weapon itself.

3. Finally, with regards to master class... if I want to get to a master class, it seems like master class to master class, only needs the proficiency, while base to master class... can only be done from specific classes. For example, let's say I want Louis as Royal Knight, it says be needs to be a Lance Fighter first, and needs to be level 10, and needs staff proficiency. But if I get him to great knight first, 2/3 requirements are dropped... he can be level 1, and doesn't ever need to have been a lance fighter, and only staff proficiency is needed. Is this right?

In the tutorial, it says there are maps or something with a 20 turn limit.

However, when I finished turn 15, I was shocked to see I ran out of turns... I saw there was in fact 15 turns only.

So then I thought... did I misread... did it just say 20 turns in the tutorial? But then it is actually 15 turns for this specific map?

However online, everyone says it is 20.

I was so upset I sort of rage quitted lol.

Is this map 15 or 20 turns max? Also could it be that I went I used the time reverse and that like adds a turn or something???

Sorry I'm playing in Japanese... so I might have missed an instruction