I got my diploma in 2021 and we usedsci hub a lot. I am trying to help my brother in law who is writing his thesis and wanted to share some old tools but is sci hub not really working anymore ? I tried a bunch of papers and only got access to one from 2019. Or am I doing something wrong ?
Hello everyone,
I dropped my usual workout schedule 3 weeks ago (weekends swimming at the beach, heatwaves making the gym close, my bike broke) and was struggling to get back to it this morning. I have not been inactive but not sticking to my routine either. In two weeks I am going on holidays and thought : what's the point of struggling to get back into it if I am gonna lose the habits in two weeks anyway ? So I am thinking of adapting my workout to seasons and I wonder if some of you do that here. Like more swimming in summer, more gym in fall and winter or dance or boxing maybe, a new activity in spring and get back to biking to work. I used to be really neurotic a about my workouts and feel bad if for a few weeks I didn't work out "enough". Maybe I am going towards a more "intuitive" way of moving ? But I am also a bit stressed it won't be enough to build muscle, to see improvement...
Bad mental health day
As the luteal started it feels like I turned into another person this morning. Incredibly tired, almost fought with my sister, feeling anxious and sad and easily mad. AND it's Saturday, sunny and a perfect day to go out and enjoy life. But I just don't feel like it. It sucks. I think I ll just go get some good food and game until bed.
And even after a week and a half I still find myself randomly trying to open them and getting frustrated ! It's crazy the effect it has on our brain. I wonder when that habit will go away.
I have been depressed (on medication now) and struggling a bit financially but it's even worse for my sister and her boyfriend so last week I made them dahl and this week it's chili ! They are vegan so I don't have much ideas. It's a bit weird to say that because it's a shitty situation but I am very proud of myself for helping like I can. It's also healthy food to freeze for myself.
I am having a stressful week at work with a lot of meetings and I have been thinking about it since last week. I feel very scared and keep replaying conversations in my head. I asked to take lexapro for social anxiety. I have no idea if I would feel the same without the lexapro or not. It's even more annoying because I saw my doctor on Friday and felt fine at that moment I wasn't feeling like tonight being scared and asking myself if the medication is doing anything or not. I keep having self depreciative thoughts and even though I challenge them It's very tiring and depressing.
Yesterday and today I have been feeling the compassion fatigue very much (not a native English speaker don't mind any spelling mistakes or weird sentences). I don't work a lot, only 3 days a week and every three weeks on saturday, I see 6 people per day. I have not taken days off since January and I feel a bit guilty to be tired because I already don't work a lot. But I feel like I need some time off. I planned to take all august off (in Europe) but I am wondering how to manage until then and if anyone have tips/advice. Working with a lot of heavy cases and high risks situations recently are most certainly contributing to this. I am having fulfilling weekends and seeing friends though, also working out during the week.
Just venting, last week I had good days, was happy to go to work, felt positive but since yesterday I am just so mad at everything I have a medical appointment today and I just keep ruminating on how it steals all of my day how I don't want to be here etc etc. I need some hope that good days are coming back and that it was not just luck last week !
Finally, nearly two weeks on Lexapro. I’ve been really impatient for it to kick in, especially after reading about the side effects and happy endings on this subreddit. I was very scared to start an SSRI, but also excited in a sense, hoping to find relief for the anxiety and depression I’ve dealt with most of my life.
I’ve had quite a few side effects, sadly. In two weeks, I’ve only had one night where I didn't wake up in the middle of the night, though my sleep is slowly getting better. At first, it felt like I’d drunk 4 or 5 coffees at once. I take 10mg in the morning. The first few days were quiet, but from day 3 to 7, I felt jittery, shaky, and had muscle cramps. I was too hot and cold at the same time, my body temperature dropped, I felt nauseous and a bit "high," and I even had dilated, asymmetric pupils and blurry vision.
After the first week, things improved, but the fatigue hit hard. In week two, the medication made me so sleepy that I started drinking caffeine again just to function. For a few hours after taking my dose, I felt incapable of moving because of the exhaustion, which made me feel more depressed. However, that "incapacitated" window is getting shorter every day. I found that staying active whenever possible really helped. Even when I felt like I might cry on my way to work, being there actually made me feel better by the end of the day.
I don’t know if I’m just lucky or if the medication is starting to work, but I’ve noticed a few positive shifts : my evenings after work have been calm. I’m exhausted, but I’m no longer replaying every moment of the day in my head or doubting my work. I can watch a show and actually enjoy it without my mind wandering. My sister is going through a rough patch, and for the first time, I could think clearly about what I can and can't do for her without being consumed by guilt. I used to feel guilty for being at peace if she was struggling, even though I knew it was irrational. While I’m not "motivated" yet, I’ve enjoyed swimming and biking in the sun. I even caught myself smiling underwater like a weirdo. I felt physically lighter. I’m self-employed, and instead of focusing only on the stress of my workload, I caught myself thinking: "All these people trust me to help them." Which has not happened before.
I still have more side effects than "light" moments for now, and I’ve had to cancel some work and social plans due to anxiety. But it feels like seeing things in a more positive light is starting to happen on its own. I'm hoping for more of this in the coming weeks.