u/BreadCute1535

Before I was fully CF I decided I didn’t want my own kids, but that I was fine with dating someone who has kids. Well as time went on I was realizing that if I date a guy with kids he was going to expect me to pay for some of the household expenses and pour a bunch of time and money into raising the kids. As time went on I realized that this is a pretty raw deal given that it seems I’d be investing a ton into kids that aren’t even mine.

Not really sure if I’m explaining this well. But I’m wondering if anyone else has noticed that it seems a lot of single parents are dating because they want help with their kids in some way or form. They say it’s under the guise of wanting someone to share life with, but at the same time they will expect someone to help them with their kids by paying for living expenses and taking part in the child rearing.

Has anyone else experienced this?

It feels like everything is cooked right now. Cost of living is out of control. Jobs aren’t paying much, houses prices are insane, I feel bad when I have to get groceries. I don’t even leave the house to do fun things anymore, because it’s crazy expensive. I keep looking for ways to downgrade my lifestyle and I’m running out of options. Not only that, but the quality of everything is so much worse.

I make good money for my age, but it feels like it’s slowly slipping away. It seems like the government hasn’t really addressed the cost of living crisis at all.

What is going on?

My coworker called out and I just spent my 12 hour shift all by myself not talking to anyone and I feel amazing. I’m excited to retire one day and I no longer have to talk to people at work.

I’ve reached a level of introversion where generally speaking I don’t really want to be around other people. I don’t want kids. I don’t want friends. I keep in touch with my family, but I don’t want to hang out on a regular basis. I don’t go to any social events unless it’s absolutely necessary. The only person that I can tolerate being around regularly is my boyfriend and I even need breaks from him. Luckily he is extremely introverted too and so we understand each other.

I’ve thought a lot about it and honestly I am completely fine with dying alone. I imagine being at ultimate peace. I don’t care to have a funeral for myself TBH and feel that it might just be for my remaining family.

I can help but feel that my level of introversion could be something else that isn’t just being an introvert. I do not harm others and wish no harm on others, I just prefer to be alone.

Is anyone else like this?

I am late 20’s and just received my divorce decree. I’m looking to assume the mortgage and release my ex from liability. Mortgage is pretty expensive for my income, but honestly it’s fine and my budget isn’t too bad. On top of that I have a couple of room mates that pay me an extra $2700 per month that I did not include in my income, making it much more affordable. I don’t think I’ll be able to include the room mate incomes, but that brings my income to about 170k.

Job Income: 120k + 20k in bonuses.

Reserves: 170k in a 401k

Mortgage Payment PITI+HOA: $3550

Car & Student Loans: $768

DTI: 37%

How is this looking?

My ex husband and I were reasonably well off, no kids. . We made about 260k per year and owned 3 houses of which 2 were rentals. We also had about 250k combined in our 401ks. This is all being in our late 20’s early 30’s.

Well I make 140k of 260k household income and he made 120k. We did an uncontested divorce where I negotiated that he got to keep 2 of the houses and we leave our 401ks separate. It ended up close to 50/50 with his settlement being a bit more favorable, because I took on more of the debt.

Very unfortunate, but I have split custody of my dogs with my him. So I still have to talk to him sometimes. Ugh. Well last week I asked that he get his own car insurance policy and gave him a heads up that I will be taking him off of my insurance. He is furious! He told me that he is super upset about his finances and is having a hard time adjusting to living on a single income by himself.

Honestly I don’t feel bad at all. He treated me like such garbage. I did all of the cooking and cleaning and he refused to help. He was a huge spender and wasted so much money on eating out and garbage. I managed our household finances and paid all of the bills. Not only that but he was verbally abusive and withheld an affection with a dead bedroom on his side. Worst of all the reason we got divorced is because I found out he was soliciting ladies of the night. Disgusting. In a lot of ways it felt like he just stayed with me because of the money.

I do not feel an ounce of sympathy that he is now struggling financially! My finances are better than ever now that I dumped him.

Not sure if this is weird or not, but for myself I will not date a man who is more attractive than me. He can be similar in attractiveness or less, but not more. Not sure if this is insecurity or internalized misogyny, but for some reason I need to feel like the hot girlfriend/wife.

I am short and okay with dating a guy of average or below height, I also make really good money and don’t mind if my man makes less. I’m also pretty flexible on looks in general, my current boyfriend is handsome but has lost his hair. I think the bald head looks sexy. I’ve never been more attracted and in love with someone. But I just cannot date a guy who is hotter than me.