I just went through a heartbreak, and this relationship really changed something in me. I was still on Grindr during the relationship because we were not exclusive. But now that we ended I really see grindr for what it is : trash. Most guys on it are uninteresting morons and gym bros.
What are my alternatives ?
I just went through a heartbreak, and this relationship really changed something in me. I was still on Grindr during the relationship because we were not exclusive. But now that we ended I really see grindr for what it is : trash. Most guys on it are uninteresting morons and gym bros.
What are my alternatives ?
The title pretty much says it all.
I (28M) recently got heartbroken. Oldest story in the world : I fell in love, he didn't.
The hardest part isn't getting over it. Eventually I will. The hardest is believing. I'm almost 28 and never had a long term commited relationship. I had casual relationships, sexfriends and stuff, and I liked it. But never a lasting loving couple.
And deep down, I'm terrified that it's not meant for me, even though I want it and think I would be good at it. Part of me thinks I can't be loved.
If someone went through this and started believing again, how did you do it ? How did you start believing in love ?
Hi,
I'm 28. I'm gay. I'm 1m70, 85 kg, and I am a bit fat. So by gay standards, I'm an unfuckable atrocity. But I'm quite fine with the way I look. I just wished I got a little more reply on apps, and someone would check me out and think I am attractive from time to time. But I'm ok. Plus I started exercising and losing weight, so people might begin to think I look good in a few months.
I'm a rather cheerful guy. I'm fun, nice and sociable. Most people I meet like me, find me sweet and trust me. I can be a bit intense sometimes, but thanks to therapy, it's manageable for me and most people. I'm considered smart, because I have a super fast brain and a great memory. I probably have high potential or autism or something like that, but I don't really care.
8 months ago I moved to Canada for my PhD. It's supposed to last four years. I had met this great guy. It was quite unexpected. We started dating, spending nights, cooking for each other, going to the theater, to the movies, having great sex, walking in the park holding hands, and other cheesy stuff like that. I had never had that with anyone else before because I suck at dating, and again, most guys find me disgusting.
I wanted to commit and make it official, and he told me he needed more time. And then he started being less present. Told me it was because of work, I waited for about three weeks. When I finally confronted him, he admitted he had doubts, wasn't in love with me (while I loved him), although he liked me a lot and what we have made him feel good. He asked to remain friends, and I decided to end it and just go radio silence.
To be honest I would have liked to keep him in my life. But I just can't bear the thought of remaining friends, watch him meet someone else and give this new guy everything I can't have anymore. Because it will confirm what I already know : that everything romantic and good we did together was just a way to pass time before he found a better guy.
I'm sad, and I fill lonely, and I am just tired of being alone. One coffee cup in the morning, one plate at the table, one tootbrush by the sink. The number one has become my whole life.
Sure, I have great friends and family, and I am grateful for them.
But I just need to build something with someone, a future, a home, a family. To take care of someone and just stop having to think about myself and myself only.
I'm probably looking at the next three years of being single, because I'm only here temporarily, and no guy will want to commit with me if I'm supposed to leave.
By then I will be 32. I'll be older, even more rooted in my habits of being alone, even more used to not having anyone. Plus, at this age, you are considered old and disgusting because gay standards again. Plus, to be honest, there just seems to be something with me that blocks people from falling in love. Most guys I meet think I'm great and really like me, but when it comes to falling in love, they just can't seem to see me that way. I feels like I'm unlovable.
I know couple isn't the only form of love and I should be happy without it and just be grateful for what I already have. A lot of people are way more alone and sad than me. And most of the time I am grateful for my life as it is.
But as time passes, it's becoming harder waking up alone every morning, choosing what movie to watch because I'm the only one deciding, and checking the "single" item everytime I fill a form.
So that's it. That's how I feel right now. And it feels good to just let it out in the open.
I want to have a beautiful love story, and it just feels like that's impossible.
Hi,
I'm 28. I'm gay. I'm 1m70, 85 kg, and I am a bit fat. So by gay standards, I'm an unfuckable atrocity. But I'm quite fine with the way I look. I just wished I got a little more reply on apps, and someone would check me out and think I am attractive from time to time. But I'm ok. Plus I started exercising and losing weight, so people might begin to think I look good in a few months.
I'm a rather cheerful guy. I'm fun, nice and sociable. Most people I meet like me, find me sweet and trust me. I can be a bit intense sometimes, but thanks to therapy, it's manageable for me and most people. I'm considered smart, because I have a super fast brain and a great memory. I probably have high potential or autism or something like that, but I don't really care.
8 months ago I moved to Canada for my PhD. It's supposed to last four years. I had met this great guy. It was quite unexpected. We started dating, spending nights, cooking for each other, going to the theater, to the movies, having great sex, walking in the park holding hands, and other cheesy stuff like that. I had never had that with anyone else before because I suck at dating, and again, most guys find me disgusting.
I wanted to commit and make it official, and he told me he needed more time. And then he started being less present. Told me it was because of work, I waited for about three weeks. When I finally confronted him, he admitted he had doubts, wasn't in love with me (while I loved him), although he liked me a lot and what we have made him feel good. He asked to remain friends, and I decided to end it and just go radio silence.
To be honest I would have liked to keep him in my life. But I just can't bear the thought of remaining friends, watch him meet someone else and give this new guy everything I can't have anymore. Because it will confirm what I already know : that everything romantic and good we did together was just a way to pass time before he found a better guy.
I'm sad, and I fill lonely, and I am just tired of being alone. One coffee cup in the morning, one plate at the table, one tootbrush by the sink. The number one has become my whole life.
Sure, I have great friends and family, and I am grateful for them.
But I just need to build something with someone, a future, a home, a family. To take care of someone and just stop having to think about myself and myself only.
I'm probably looking at the next three years of being single, because I'm only here temporarily, and no guy will want to commit with me if I'm supposed to leave.
By then I will be 32. I'll be older, even more rooted in my habits of being alone, even more used to not having anyone. Plus, at this age, you are considered old and disgusting because gay standards again. Plus, to be honest, there just seems to be something with me that blocks people from falling in love. Most guys I meet think I'm great and really like me, but when it comes to falling in love, they just can't seem to see me that way. I feels like I'm unlovable.
I know couple isn't the only form of love and I should be happy without it and just be grateful for what I already have. A lot of people are way more alone and sad than me. And most of the time I am grateful for my life as it is.
But as time passes, it's becoming harder waking up alone every morning, choosing what movie to watch because I'm the only one deciding, and checking the "single" item everytime I fill a form.
So that's it. That's how I feel right now. And it feels good to just let it out in the open.
I want to have a beautiful love story, and it just feels like that's impossible.