u/Bubbly_Owl_8262

I am orange.

We’ve known each other since high school and have spent alot of time together but got separated because of college and new relationships. Broke my heart a little over this guy.

He likes to keep me in his arms reach and act possessive but will never open up. Whenever we are together, we talk about everything except our feelings.

He used to tell me that I was very interesting to him and that I acted in ways he does not expect.
I find him very gentle, caring and reactive to my emotions yet it feels like he does that to everyone.

I am sexually attracted to him but it feels like I am engaging with a monk in abstinence. We travel alot together and he always pays for my expenses.
I really dont get his actions either lol.

Why does he say that? Would he want me to put him on the same pedestal?
He also said he wanted to be possessive, which I think has something to do with many of my planets entering his second house, eighth house and some pluto aspects.
I have a natal pluto moon and I think I’m pretty at home to that sort of intensity and behaviour, which would be weird for other people.

Our moon and mercuries have double square whammies and it’s been manifesting in ways we feel misunderstood and in ways we dont get our jokes (this is especially for me, i feel very unfunny with him).

We take extra effort to clarify any miscommunications but there is still an attractive pull towards each other. I am patient with him and he is too but i find him to be too sensitive.
The problem is that I feel like he’s depending on me too much, emotionally.

I also want to know how his natal virgo stellium in 5th house would manifest like because I asked him about his past relationships and he vaguely said he was the problem. I didn’t ask anything further because he looked very uncomfortable.

He is blue

I sometimes think of the times spent with him and think if my life would’ve taken a better trajectory rather than the dumps I am in right now.
I started talking to him again during the mercury retrograde and I’m recollecting memories I thought I forgot after all these years. It feels very bittersweet.

Hint- a president

I did not know about astrology when my ketu mahadasha started and it was a very weird experience. I started getting addicted to getting in altered state of consciousness by using substances.
Relationships are very harmful to me. I stayed in a mutual toxic relationship for four years and I lost myself in it. We were living in, it was stupid. After that breakup, I could not stop serial dating. There is always a person coming in my life somehow. One even tried to end themselves.
I apologising for ranting.
Edit- Ketu mahadasha has stripped my ego bare and it felt very humiliating. Very introspective period, I am very impulsive, I am becoming someone my younger self would not recognise.

Orange is me and Blue is him.

We have known each other for a year but never really interacted until recently and we got freaky a little too early than I'd like. I am very attracted to him but he keeps complimenting me a little too much which I do not know how to reciprocate. I feel very conscious of what I say around him and I respect him very much but I need time to process my feelings which I have a hard time to materialise verbally to communicate properly so it ends up looking like I am ghosting him. I feel very ashamed of this.

He love bombed me while I fumbled him. I am non-monogamous and we were not each other’s cup of tea ig. Where’s this non-monogamy coming from me? and could we actually be compatible if we happened?

Products-
Tretinoin 0.025%
Bioderma atoderm moisturiser
Isntree Ultra-low molecular Hyaluronic acid toner
Cetaphil light gel spf 50 (white cast hell)
Conscious Chemist Daily Dissolve oil cleanser
Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser.
Wishcare lip balm

I did not change any products except for my sunscreen to Fixderma spf50 gel.

The first and second photo was taken at August, last year. My skin was dull and I had no glow. My diet was mostly carbs, didn’t workout and didn’t drink enough water while bedrotting unless I had classes.

The third and fourth photo was taken recently on June and I’ve made many lifestyle changes. First thing I did was eat those vitamin-c tablets daily, spirulina tablets, calcium and vitaminD3 tablets, drank more water(3L a day), ate more protein (non-veg) and lesser carbs and sweat more (gym and running). I also gained weight.

I was looking through my gallery and noticed an actual difference in my skin quality, I feel very good about my skin right now.

They are 27”x13”x14” full of clothes.