u/Budget-Biscotti781

Hey everyone, I am a male in my 30s and recently reached out to my biological father to begin what may be/what I would like to be a lasting relationship.

My dad (the man I grew up with as my father) adopted me at 4 years old. My bio father has been known the entire time but was not very present when I was little - I have a few memories of this period and some pics with him when I was a baby/toddler but according to my mom’s side he just wasn’t around much. he has said that he loves me very much and letting me go was very difficult.

He was kept aware of my activities and development over the years as part of the court agreement in my adoption but we had no direct contact until I was 18. Since then we have had sporadic communication but he has been very available the times I have reached out.

We have had each other’s info for some time and have communicated off and on over the years. I stopped talking to him completely 6 years ago sort of by accident and laziness but he didn’t reach back out so I essentially said fuck him and didn’t pursue anything. I feel the onerous was on him to reach out more, but that’s not the point of this post.

So here we are, lots of therapy later, and I’m trying to start fresh. He’s a cool dude, has 3 daughters, and well…we have a lot in common even with the separation for 30ish years. Go figure. I already have a dad (he’s fucking awesome, I love my dad) so I’m not looking for a father figure, but I have had a hole in my heart all my life because of this, and I want to have a relationship with him and get a better idea of the other half of my background.

So my question(s?) is this: those who have similar experiences, where does this man belong in my life? How might this relationship look? We live close to each again other now (unintentional) so we have met up recently but…I don’t know how this relationship is supposed to work. Any thoughts and perspectives are appreciated.

Tl;dr: I have known my bio dad my entire life, but haven’t had a relationship with him. I have a real Dad who adopted me, so I don’t need a father figure, but would like to know where he (bio dad) should/could fit in my life.

Thank you so much for reading!

Hi it’s my first post on here so I hope I do it right. English is my second language so I apologize for the grammar.

So Yesterday in a very hot day on the east coast my husband was having a terrible day so I decided to when he comes home I will have him ready a cold fresh coconut lemonade that are so popular in my country. But when I was trying to do find the ingredients I had none of them so I went: instead of coconut milk, condensed milk and fresh limes I gave him coconut cream, sugar and lime juice how different it could be right!

So I left home after diner for my class and when I came back that men was praying for his life headache, chills and bad diarrea I felt so bad and I was like really innocent asking questions what’d did you eat maybe it’s the stress bla bla bla.. when I think of he lemonade and he drink all of eat I add a whole can of coconut cream and when I google it … yes coconut cream can cause diarrea and I’m feeling horrible I gave him all
I could find of medicine and took care of him
And he is feeling better today.

TL;DR So my advise for everyone it’s please don’t change the ingredients when you are cooking to try to make your husbands day better and you ending make it worse by giving him Diarrea!