u/ButtFister1789

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WARNING: Read first:

Do not answer this post if you are

1. White

2. from a Western country and follow Western values/customs

3. have no family from the third world

4. believe that anyone 18 over should 'just move out' from home away from family

It keeps irking me that not only do others downvote me because they think it is so simple, they even insist on telling me what I tell them is impossible beforehand. If you look through my post history, I get quite a lot of downvotes, people try to argue and say 'move out you are 36 huh huh', I mean wtf seriously.

I was born and raised in the West, but every single member of my family was born and grew up in corrupt, tropical, hot, humid third-world countries near the equator. Both sides of my family are from various third-world countries where you worship and obey your elders as if they were some kind of god, and elders always have the right to your finances, and force you to care for them in old age. In these countries, violence is extremely common to the point that even legal authorities, that many police, intelligence officers, judges, etc. in such countries probably have committed heinous crimes themselves, including murder, räpe, extortion, torture, etc. They would laugh right in your face if you dare complain about something. Hell, even in schools there, teachers hit children. You can imagine how a Western person does not get it up to now.

I have all kinds of problems that truly piss people off from the third world, since third-world family members consider it willfully acting like an arsehole. Not only am I formally diagnosed autistic with a whole slew of mental problems like OCD and anxiety, but I have reverse SAD, extreme heat intolerance and DSPD. This means I cannot stand temperatures over 10 C (50 F) and my ideal max temp is 0 C (32 F). I need snowy weather as well as darkness to feel comfortable. I also cannot sleep until 05h00 or 06h00 without sleep aids. 

As you can imagine, almost no one understands this, even Western people, as most people love hot weather (I need cold weather), love sunshine (I hate sunshine and need darkness), feel depressed in gloomy weather (I am depressed in sunny weather), hate snow (I need snow), hate winter and love summer (I love winter and hate summer), hate darkness (I need darkness), sleep early (I sleep late), wake up early (I wake up late); the list goes on.

Yet I am yelled at almost everyday, as well as told how I am a POS, SOB, scumbag, motherf\*\*\*\*\*, shïthead and other names if I do not wake up in the morning, or feel like I will faint from extreme heat exhaustion when a room is 37 C (97 F) inside due to the heat waves here and lack of A/C. I am not allowed to put even a portable A/C unit inside the house, since family are cold most of the time and consider even 35 C (95 F) to be 'nice' weather. It does not help that everyone was born in tropical third-world countries.

Now instead I get panic attacks that build up throughout the day like the crescendo of an orchestra. I feel some kind of doom meach time I see comments that say 'just move out' or some kind of comment like that, as well as when others downvote me, saying I am a grown adult and I should be moving away from home immediately, when this is NOT how things work, for god sake.

Also, it is not just me, I grew up in a 90%+ Chinese neighbourhood where most people I knew here live under strict Confucianist households and never move away from home. At home, it is kind of like this, even though I never grew up with Confucianism.

To give some insight: I lived with my grandparents my whole life until they died from their illnesses. My mother lived with them until she was almost 60. So honestly, GTFO with this 'just move out' comment. You are supposed to live with your parents for the rest of your life. Full stop. That is how I grew up. I cannot change that.

Why the hell do people not understand this??? Do they know that this is akin to telling a cripple in a wheelchair to get up and walk?

I am hesitant to post, since I usually get downvoted to hell and insulted en masse in other subs, but whatever. I have gotten insulted here in San Francisco in person tens of thousands of times, both amongst family, as well as acquaintances and strangers.

I am 36M and will be 37 this winter. I am from San Francisco, USA, a place that snows highly seldom and is usually foggy, but nowadays is getting serious heat waves, like today. I cannot handle anything above 10 C (50 F) comfortably. My ideal temperature would be a maximum of 0 C (32 F), with no minimum temperature limit.

Before anyone goes about how I do not truly know what living in snowy weather is like, during the whole pandemic I lived in central Wisconsin with my Wisconsinite girlfriend. We got less snow than I had hoped and warmer winters than I wanted. Even when it snowed, day in day out I never tired of it, in fact I wanted more more more snow and hated summer.

We had to move back to San Francisco to save money living at my house. Now we are stuck, we hate the weather, but unlike her, I am dangerously close to heatstroke all the time. Right now it is 28 C (82 F), but inside the living room, it is 36 C (97 F). In the bedroom, it reads 38 C (100 F) due to the house's horrific insulation.

I have been in hospital for heat exhaustion before but no one believes me. They think I am making it up or being a baby.

No one from my family understands it, nor do strangers. I'm fact, in a different thread, someone accused me of being 'contrarian', since everyone loves heat and warm weather and hates snow, cold and murk. I get far worse comments from family and strangers, even trying to get physical with me over arguments over how I am being a baby who hates 'great' (hot) weather. It does not help that EVERY SINGLE member of my family was born and raised in corrupt, tropical, third-world countries near the Equator.

Is there anyone here going through this where every shites on you and calls you names even though you could end up in hospital from heatstroke, especially if you have extreme heat intolerance like myself? How do you handle it?

I am hesitant to post, since I usually get downvoted to hell and insulted en masse in other subs, but whatever. I have gotten insulted here in San Francisco in person tens of thousands of times, both amongst family, as well as acquaintances and strangers.

I am 36M and will be 37 this winter. I am from San Francisco, USA, a place that snows highly seldom and is usually foggy, but nowadays is getting serious heat waves, like today. I cannot handle anything above 10 C (50 F) comfortably. My ideal temperature would be a maximum of 0 C (32 F), with no minimum temperature limit.

Before anyone goes about how I do not truly know what living in snowy weather is like, during the whole pandemic I lived in central Wisconsin with my Wisconsinite girlfriend. We got less snow than I had hoped and warmer winters than I wanted. Even when it snowed, day in day out I never tired of it, in fact I wanted more more more snow and hated summer.

We had to move back to San Francisco to save money living at my house. Now we are stuck, we hate the weather, but unlike her, I am dangerously close to heatstroke all the time. Right now it is 28 C (82 F), but inside the living room, it is 36 C (97 F). In the bedroom, it reads 38 C (100 F) due to the house's horrific insulation.

I have been in hospital for heat exhaustion before but no one believes me. They think I am making it up or being a baby.

No one from my family understands it, nor do strangers. I'm fact, in a different thread, someone accused me of being 'contrarian', since everyone loves heat and warm weather and hates snow, cold and murk. I get far worse comments from family and strangers, even trying to get physical with me over arguments over how I am being a baby who hates 'great' (hot) weather. It does not help that EVERY SINGLE member of my family was born and raised in corrupt, tropical, third-world countries near the Equator.

Is there anyone here going through this where every shites on you and calls you names even though you could end up in hospital from heatstroke, especially if you have extreme heat intolerance like myself? How do you handle it?

If a new patient has all of their family from third-world countries, and the family have full control over their finances, legal documents like their birth certificate, travel documents like passport, etc., would the therapist most likely be completely confused?

In addition, especially if they live in a multi-generation house where adult children live with their parents, grandparents, etc. even until their 50s, 60s, 70s whatever?

I have some newer Mandarin learning books, but I also have done older books from the 1970s and before, which use Wade-Giles transliterations. Some have even older transliterations.

Would it sound odd to speak Mandarin with these transliterations? For example, just looking at the map of China, I see Peking, Nanking, Foochow, Amoy, Tientsin, Canton, Huhshot, etc.?

Firstly, if you are White and/or from a Western country and hold Western values, halt right now. Close the window, do not read anything below. You will understand almost nothing here

Just move on.

I will be 37M this year.

It is back to heat hell, as I am from San Francisco, and there is another heat wave. It is 28 C here (82 F), but my house is messed up with high insulation. The thermometer reads 36 C (96 F) in the living room and 38 C (100 F) in the bedroom. My Wisconsinite girlfriend and I live here for a few months left until we leave this wretched city. But for now we have to make do. We have to go to my parents place for dinner. At their house, the curtains are always left open even their knowing I have EXTREME heat intolerance. I cannot even stand anything above 10 C (50 F). When I lived in Europe, even the horrific summers there never felt as ungodly hot as here, even though this city is known for fog.

So over here, we have to bake alive since they open the curtains so the sun can come in and roast everything. It probably is around 38-39 C (100-102 F), and I am sweating and clammy.yet I get told I am exaggerating. I get yelled at and say how I should be lucky not to be living in Wisconsin right now because they get snow in winter, which I CRAVE.

Also, I have DSPD (Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder), and I get yelled at when I am not in time for some random thing, like if I am told to be somewhere for some lunch, and I struggle to get up, yet they willfully make it at noon, which is close to when I wake up.

Multiple times on trips, a lot of train rides, aeroplane flights scheduled at 06h00, 07h00 and all kinds of BS, knowing full well that I cannot handle it. Yet if I say anything I get chewed out and told how I am selfish, insufferable, a POS, SOB, etc.

If you are in the third world or have third world family who do this, how do you cope with this? This thing is giving me daily panic attacks, especially when I wonder everyday if I will get hit

There is no way for me to ask this softly, but how was it day to day being either a conscript in the Russian army, especially someone in the 141st Majkopskaja Brigada, as well as a soldier on the Chechen side?

For example, I watched the documentary film 'Prokljatij i zabijti' (1997) by Sergej Govorukhin, and it talked about shitty food, fleas in flak jackets, etc.

For example, what was the daiñy life like for both sides' soldiers in this war?

Firstly, if you are White and/or from a Western country and hold Western values, halt right now. Close the window, do not read anything below. You will understand almost nothing here

Just move on.

I will be 37M this year.

It is back to heat hell, as I am from San Francisco, and there is another heat wave. It is 28 C here (82 F), but my house is messed up with high insulation. The thermometer reads 36 C (96 F) in the living room and 38 C (100 F) in the bedroom. My Wisconsinite girlfriend and I live here for a few months left until we leave this wretched city. But for now we have to make do. We have to go to my parents place for dinner. At their house, the curtains are always left open even their knowing I have EXTREME heat intolerance. I cannot even stand anything above 10 C (50 F). When I lived in Europe, even the horrific summers there never felt as ungodly hot as here, even though this city is known for fog.

So over here, we have to bake alive since they open the curtains so the sun can come in and roast everything. It probably is around 38-39 C (100-102 F), and I am sweating and clammy.yet I get told I am exaggerating. I get yelled at and say how I should be lucky not to be living in Wisconsin right now because they get snow in winter, which I CRAVE.

Also, I have DSPD (Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder), and I get yelled at when I am not in time for some random thing, like if I am told to be somewhere for some lunch, and I struggle to get up, yet they willfully make it at noon, which is close to when I wake up.

Multiple times on trips, a lot of train rides, aeroplane flights scheduled at 06h00, 07h00 and all kinds of BS, knowing full well that I cannot handle it. Yet if I say anything I get chewed out and told how I am selfish, insufferable, a POS, SOB, etc.

If you are in the third world or have third world family who do this, how do you cope with this?

What triggers others to get angry and/or violent when finding out someone is different, for example medical conditions or preferences?

I have had family members blow up like a strategic nuclear weapon when I say I have reverse SAD, extreme heat intolerance, etc. What causes this?

For example, all of my family are from hot, humid, corrupt, third-world countries. NONE of my family are from first-world western countries, although many have moved to some. when I insist I will move to a snowy place in Europe for good, either by studying Medicine there or doing residency there, my parents explode and say only an ařsehole would like snow, how they would basically almost disown me for needing cold, snowy weather. Sometimes just mentioning I like snow leads to full-blown arguments where neighbours call the police for noise disturbances.

I have reverse SAD, meaning unlike all those so-called normal folk who whinge about lack of sunlight, I cannot stand sunlight. Sunshine makes me angry, depressed and sickened. Sunshine makes my suıcıðe ideation spike. Summer even more so. I need cold, dark and snowy weather to feel normal. I get yelled at for this condition, as well as the delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPD), where I get yelled at regularly for going to sleep at 4 or 5 and waking up at 11, which apparently is considered bad enough in third-world countries to be thrown in an asylum for.

My family were extremely angry when I moved to central Wisconsin to live with my Wisconsinite girlfriend, saying moving to such a hick, cold, snowy place is unbefitting of me. We were half coerced to loving back here to San Francisco to save money by living at the house we are now stuck at.

When I was formally diagnosed as autistic few years ago at age 34, many in family were highly pissed off, saying autism is a Western made up thing to use as an excuse to act like a r****d or an ařsehole or a horrible person, which I am, as I have been told tens of thousands of times.

What causes such extreme anger just because I have problems and am different, like how I hate sunshine and like snowy weather?

I notice looking around this sub that people have this mindset of 'oh you are 18 and older move out, proběhl sovled huh huh'. Is this truly what is to be expected if someone who has all their family being born and raised in the third world has to look forward to?

Because if you are Western, let me tell you how this sounds to non-Western third-world cultures:

⸻'Oh, you are a cripple in a wheelchair? Well just get up and walk then!'

⸻'Oh, you are blind? Well just try harder and see!'

⸻'You are right-handed? Then just force yourself to write with your left hand, easy!'

Now most would agree that saying these things is beyond dumb. But that is EXACTLY what it sounds like to those whose families are from the third world.

If you are a Westerner and do not understand third-world family cultural dynamics, do not answer thus and move on.

If your parents, grandparents and extended family have told you since birth how you are like this and like that, yell at you you are a piece of shıt, a financial burden, a child that no parent would want to have, etc., including corporal punishment well into adulthood, how do you recover?

Moreover, if living in the West, no western therapist will understand this and this means risking being reported. So the answer becomes you never tell therapists and keep it to yourself. How do you recover from 3, 4, 5, etc. decades of this?

If you are a Westerner and do not understand third-world family cultural dynamics, do not answer thus and move on.

If your parents, grandparents and extended family have told you since birth how you are like this and like that, yell at you you are a piece of shıt, a financial burden, a child that no parent would want to have, etc., including corporal punishment well into adulthood, how do you recover?

Moreover, if living in the West, no western therapist will understand this and this means risking being reported. So the answer becomes you never tell therapists and keep it to yourself. How do you recover from 3, 4, 5, etc. decades of this?

If you are a Westerner and do not understand third-world family cultural dynamics, do not answer thus and move on.

If your parents, grandparents and extended family have told you since birth how you are like this and like that, yell at you you are a piece of shıt, a financial burden, a child that no parent would want to have, etc., including corporal punishment well into adulthood, how do you recover?

Moreover, if living in the West, no western therapist will understand this and this means risking being reported. So the answer becomes you never tell therapists and keep it to yourself. How do you recover from 3, 4, 5, etc. decades of this?

If you are a Westerner and do not understand third-world family cultural dynamics, do not answer thus and move on.

If your parents, grandparents and extended family have told you since birth how you are like this and like that, yell at you you are a piece of shıt, a financial burden, a child that no parent would want to have, etc., including corporal punishment well into adulthood, how do you recover?

Moreover, if living in the West, no western therapist will understand this and this means risking being reported. So the answer becomes you never tell therapists and keep it to yourself. How do you recover from 3, 4, 5, etc. decades of this?

If you are a Westerner who does not understand third-world cultures, do not even try to answer this or post anything, as you will not get it at all.

My family, including myself, have been trying to flee the USA to an EU country like Portugal, France, the Netherlands, etc. for over a decade. However, now my parents are depressed and angry, since all of us are trying to flee, but there are so many roadblocks in our way. Yet, as time goes on, we suffer. My mother just lost her health insurance, meaning if she gets something serious, she will be in big trouble both healthwise and financially. She already almost died a few years ago from Covid complications in the ICU.

We live in San Francisco, a city that all of us hate like bloody hell. Yet every day that we cannot flee means that anger and depression grows. I was living in central Wisconsin with my Wisconsinite girlfriend during the pandemic, but we moved here given that there was a house here for us to live in the meantime, meaning we did not have to pay rent like in Wisconsin. Now, I am close to homeless, as the house I am in will be sold to give them some money to survive for a year. We are thinking of fleeing to Minneapolis before I move to Europe to study and live. They even are desperate enough that they might flee to their home countries, which are third world countries, for medical care they cannot afford here, since they say at least they do not have to pay for medical care back home. In addition, both my mother and I are formally diagnosed autistics.

The thing is that I am applying to medical schools in the Netherlands, Belgium and Austria next year, meaning I quite obviously have no EU country's citizenship. Thus I cannot bring them over on some kind of family visa. This has caused them to have a lot of anger and resentment towards me. So I have to deal with the pressure from them as well as doing my work and revising biology, chemistry, physics and maths all at the same time. 

I get yelled at every single day about how I am selfish, careless, dumb, a scumbag, a POS, a SOB, etc. I cannot afford a therapist, and so far I cannot find one who accept's my shitty insurance, which I might lose soon as well. My own health is not faring the best either, and this stress is causing me serious physical problems, more than I already had despite turning only 37 this year. However as their child, I am obligated to care for them and obey their orders. They absolutely hate the Western custom of leaving at 18 and not living with your parents.

How do people deal with stress on all fronts?

If you are a Westerner who does not understand third-world cultures, do not even try to answer this or post anything, as you will not get it at all.

My family, including myself, have been trying to flee the USA to an EU country like Portugal, France, the Netherlands, etc. for over a decade. However, now my parents are depressed and angry, since all of us are trying to flee, but there are so many roadblocks in our way. Yet, as time goes on, we suffer. My mother just lost her health insurance, meaning if she gets something serious, she will be in big trouble both healthwise and financially. She already almost died a few years ago from Covid complications in the ICU.

We live in San Francisco, a city that all of us hate like bloody hell. Yet every day that we cannot flee means that anger and depression grows. I was living in central Wisconsin with my Wisconsinite girlfriend during the pandemic, but we moved here given that there was a house here for us to live in the meantime, meaning we did not have to pay rent like in Wisconsin. Now, I am close to homeless, as the house I am in will be sold to give them some money to survive for a year. We are thinking of fleeing to Minneapolis before I move to Europe to study and live. They even are desperate enough that they might flee to their home countries, which are third world countries, for medical care they cannot afford here, since they say at least they do not have to pay for medical care back home. In addition, both my mother and I are formally diagnosed autistics.

The thing is that I am applying to medical schools in the Netherlands, Belgium and Austria next year, meaning I quite obviously have no EU country's citizenship. Thus I cannot bring them over on some kind of family visa. This has caused them to have a lot of anger and resentment towards me. So I have to deal with the pressure from them as well as doing my work and revising biology, chemistry, physics and maths all at the same time. 

I get yelled at every single day about how I am selfish, careless, dumb, a scumbag, a POS, a SOB, etc. I cannot afford a therapist, and so far I cannot find one who accept's my shitty insurance, which I might lose soon as well. My own health is not faring the best either, and this stress is causing me serious physical problems, more than I already had despite turning only 37 this year.

How do people deal with stress on all fronts?

If you are a Westerner who does not understand third-world cultures, do not even try to answer this or post anything, as you will not get it at all.

My family, including myself, have been trying to flee the USA to an EU country like Portugal, France, the Netherlands, etc. for over a decade. However, now my parents are depressed and angry, since all of us are trying to flee, but there are so many roadblocks in our way. Yet, as time goes on, we suffer. My mother just lost her health insurance, meaning if she gets something serious, she will be in big trouble both healthwise and financially. She already almost died a few years ago from Covid complications in the ICU.

We live in San Francisco, a city that all of us hate like bloody hell. Yet every day that we cannot flee means that anger and depression grows. I was living in central Wisconsin with my Wisconsinite girlfriend during the pandemic, but we moved here given that there was a house here for us to live in the meantime, meaning we did not have to pay rent like in Wisconsin. Now, I am close to homeless, as the house I am in will be sold to give them some money to survive for a year. We are thinking of fleeing to Minneapolis before I move to Europe to study and live. They even are desperate enough that they might flee to their home countries, which are third world countries, for medical care they cannot afford here, since they say at least they do not have to pay for medical care back home. In addition, both my mother and I are formally diagnosed autistics.

The thing is that I am applying to medical schools in the Netherlands, Belgium and Austria next year, meaning I quite obviously have no EU country's citizenship. Thus I cannot bring them over on some kind of family visa. This has caused them to have a lot of anger and resentment towards me. So I have to deal with the pressure from them as well as doing my work and revising biology, chemistry, physics and maths all at the same time. 

I get yelled at every single day about how I am selfish, careless, dumb, a scumbag, a POS, a SOB, etc. I cannot afford a therapist, and so far I cannot find one who accept's my shitty insurance, which I might lose soon as well. My own health is not faring the best either, and this stress is causing me serious physical problems, more than I already had despite turning only 37 this year.

How do people deal with stress on all fronts?

I have several chronic GI problems, also had huge GI viral infections when young. I probably have thrown up during my childhood more times than most adults have in their whole lives combined. Now I have GORD (acid reflux) and functional dyspepsia. I am from San Francisco, USA, and I do not even drink tap water here. It is a missnaming to call the USA a first-world country on the same level as the Netherlands or Norway, but for this post I will call it as such for this hypothetical.

My girlfriend's brother went on holiday to Da Nang, Vietnam, accidentally brushed his teeth with tap water, then got his GI system absolutely obliterated, bedridden with fever, throwing up and diarrhoea for a week. And this guy has a much stronger stomach than I do.

So I got thinking, how fraught would it be for me if I did the same as he did and brushed my teeth in or drank tap water either there or in third-world countries like Mexico, Pakistan, Thailand, Jamaica, Brazil, etc.? Would I likely get destroyed?

I have several chronic GI problems, also had huge GI viral infections when young. I probably have thrown up during my childhood more times than most adults have in their whole lives combined. Now I have GORD (acid reflux) and functional dyspepsia. I am from San Francisco, USA, and I do not even drink tap water here. It is a missnaming to call the USA a first-world country, but for this post I will call it as such for this hypothetical.

My girlfriend's brother went on holiday to Da Nang, Vietnam, accidentally brushed his teeth with tap water, then got his GI system absolutely obliterated, bedridden with fever, throwing up and diarrhoea for a week. And this guy has a much stronger stomach than I do.

So I got thinking, how fraught would it be for me if I did the same as he did and brushed my teeth in or drank tap water either there or in third-world countries like Mexico, Pakistan, Thailand, Jamaica, Brazil, etc.? Would I likely get destroyed?

I see that nowadays Western therapists have to report certain things, which means that third-world patients are highly suspicious of them and will lie by saying no if asked if they have experienced corporal punishment by their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and other family if all of these family members are from third-world countries.

I the third-world, when one grows up, beating beaten for the slightest thing, like being unable to eat all of your dinner even though it tastes worse than rotting fish and dog shıt, is highly normal. Is it true that Western therapists report these things? Even patients who are born in the West, yet have all of their family from third-world countries, will rather follow a script so that the therapist does not report.

So how do such patients explain to their western therapists about beatings in both childhood and adulthood, which is extremely common in countries like Mexico, Indonesia, the Philippines, Malaysia, Pakistan, Trinidad, Jamaica, Egypt, etc.? Is there a way for a patient to have the therapist sign a form that they promise under perjury to never report what is seen as normal family experiences in such countries?

Also, first-world countries like Singapore, you can get beaten at school for poor discipline, even though Singapore is highly Westernised, perhaps the most Westernised country in the Orient.