My out of the blue breakup chat. (LOOOOONG)
Not sure if the share flair is correct.
I just needed to dump this long ass chat here because I have been reading it over and over for the past week and I still have no idea what to make of it...
3 year relationship (M22 & F21),
7 weeks long distance so far.
[Also no we're not highschool sweethearts like he said we "were". We met when he was in his first year of uni (19) and I was about to start uni (17 close to 18)]
He started really really wanting to live in Japan around one year ago. I supported him. We talked A LOT about our future. Marrying in the future (not near-future), having kids together when we're older. I'm telling you the two of us had a great relationship for 3 years, wanting the same things in life, dreaming about the same future together.
Even the long distance part was something we extensively talked about how we would make it work and how it's purely temporary until he's figured out if he wants to stay there, me figuring out through multiple long-stay visits if I can see myself living there with him. Both of us, especially him, framing and talking about this situation as if it's not his own thing only but a step towards our shared future etc.
When I'm telling you I did not see this breakup coming, I really mean it. I did not see it coming at all. And I did not get a single conversation leading up to it about how he's having doubts or a hard time...
He’s 22 years old, male, barely talks about negative feelings, thoughts or emotions. Though he was always very supportive and reassuring whenever I came to him with my own worries, stress, concerns, feelings, etc.
Other than the fact that during my uni stress I didn’t text him as much as he’d liked, he never speaks about his own shit. And this is why I was so blindsided in this breakup. He mentioned being stressed, he mentioned missing me. But he never gave me a bit of insight on how bad it is, that maybe we should talk, or that our relationship of THREE YEARS is in danger because of his mental health.
Got broken up with on the 8th of August. He told me he needs this for now so he can “stabilize”.
5h later his friend landed in Japan and is staying 2 or 3 weeks with him. Not even 24h after the breakup he’s got constant company.
9th of August until now this man has been updating our friendgroupchat with daily texts, pictures and videos about how much fun he's having with his friend who's visiting for a while (2-3 weeks) and how they've gone out drinking and partying daily. And they also took a countryside trip Wednesday to Friday which is weird asf to me because his school only started 5 weeks ago.