I begged him to do this with me and absolutely love how it turned out. I’m lucky to have a partner who is game to do these silly activities together.
also, it’s a nice practice to really stare at your partner’s face!
Note the Avril Lavigne shirt and the shirt in my yearbook that reads "dramatic"
I will give a bit of context... I didn't grow up around cats because my mom and brother are severely allergic so I never had any experience with them until recently. I am 32 years old and for almost 10 years lived by myself. Last year I lived with my friend/roommate(F33) who has a cat. At the same time I got very serious with my boyfriend(m37) who has 2 cats too.
My old roommate's cat is 12/13 years old, very chill and introverted. Likes attention sometimes but for the most part is sort of the way I always imagined living with a cat would be like, having a 3rd hairy roommate. I lived with my roommate and her cat for a year and everything was fine.
My boy friend's cats are a different story. They are 7 and 9 years old respectively and are pretty clingy. The first year and a half I would spent about 3 nights at my boyfriend's house per week so the cats know me well and I know them well too.
My friends and boyfriend love to joke about how I am now a converted cat lady. I really do love his cats and I know my boyfriend loves them like family.
I moved in with my boyfriend about 5 months ago. He has been living in this house for 12 years so this house is all the cats know too. It is very much their space and I knew that when I moved in. We are hoping to get a bigger place together next year but financially this makes the most sense for us.
The cats sleep on the bed with us. I knew this because like I said I had been staying over 3 nights a week for a year and a half, but sometimes they would sleep outside the room when I was there, sometimes with us, and then I would have my own house to go home to, so if they were loud at night I didn't think that much of it.
The first month I moved in they didn't sleep much with us, but the last 4 months they have been and it's been really hard for me. The bed is a queen size and it's not a lot of room for 4 bodies, especially when two of those bodies are moving around, fighting or cleaning each other loudly. And sometimes when they are not on the bed, they are running around in our small apartment, knocking things over and yowling.
My boyfriend is so accustomed to it he didn't realize how big of an adjustment it would be for me. I've spent a few mornings nearly in tears because of lack of sleep. I tried earplugs and they help but they are super uncomfortable so I only wear them when completely necessary. I take CBD drops with melatonin almost every night but they really only help me fall asleep, not stay asleep. Sometimes I try to listen to podcasts but that really only helps with the noise part, not the moving around on the bed part. We have talked about closing the door when we sleep but they scratch at the door and yowl as soon as we do.
I was able to scrape together some extra money and we purchased a king size bed that should be here in a week but I am afraid it won't be enough. The cats love to sleep super close to us, on our heads, in between us, always touching us and each other. Sometimes I've woken up to them trying to groom my head, which I know is a sign of love and affection, but having a sharp tongue on your face or some light biting on your head is not ideal to wake up to at 4 am.
I know this is part of who cats are, they are nocturnal, they clean each other and play at night. I am trying my best to accept this but I am not sleeping well and I feel like I am going a bit crazy. My boyfriend feels really bad and tries to help when he can. He moves them from off of our heads and pillows at night to the end of the bed but they always come back. I can see he is struggling too and he is not sleeping because I am not sleeping.
At first I really tried to minimize it and fit myself and neatly and quietly into their lives as possible but now I just can't do it anymore without talking about it. We talk about it openly now but try not to let it get in the way of our daily lives. I have a therapist who told me we need to vocalize our frustrations together at the situation as to not build tension between us.
Every other part of our relationship is seriously wonderful and I love this man so much. I also love his cats and I want us all to be happy but we can't be happy if we are not sleeping.
Is this something I just need to get used to and stop complaining about?