I suppose you could call it “the gift that keeps on giving.” Funnily enough, I’ve chosen not to pass the gift along 😆.
I swear, every woman I match with and talk to is booked solid for weeks. They have a ton of girlfriends, a ton of events, a ton of obligations.
Their calendars are booked solid.
So after a couple attempts at securing a time for a date, I just give up, unmatch, and move on to the next match…where I’ll most likely run into the exact same problem.
What’s the deal? Are men like this?
You hear the mantra all the time: “Life is a gift.” It’s plastered on T-shirts, repeated in TV ads, printed on inspirational posters, and woven into our culture as though it’s a self-evident truth.
But if life is a gift…if being alive is inherently good…what does that make death? Is death inherently bad? Is being dead a misfortune?
And if being dead is bad, why? We spent billions of years not existing before we were born, and no one seems particularly troubled by that. So why do we treat the nonexistence that comes after life as something fundamentally different from the nonexistence that came before it?
Edit: This post was inspired by me reading “LIFE is awesome” messaging on the back of a box of General Mills Life cereal this morning. 😆
Take a coin flip. We call it random, but what if it isn’t? What if, with perfect knowledge of every variable involved, the force, angle, rotation, air resistance, and so on, you could predict exactly how it would land every single time? Maybe we’re simply not intelligent or computationally capable enough to do that. Our inability to predict the coin doesn’t make the side the coin lands on random.
Not everyone likes dogs. Not everyone likes your dog. Seems like a simple enough rule to follow but it’s very clear majority of dog owners don’t follow it.
I read through women’s dating profiles and find myself increasingly bored and checked out by the whole thing:
- The obsession with mindless, empty consumerism…travel, restaurants, food, etc. I’m immediately suspicious of any woman who describes herself as a “foodie who loves to travel.” Eating food and traveling around the world are not hobbies and we all saw how well that lifestyle worked out for Anthony Bourdain. 😬
- The obsession with true crime TV. Can someone please explain this one to me? My god it’s boring.
- The obsession with pet animals. We get it. Your apartment smells, and somehow I’ll probably end up taking care of the thing if we were to date.
- The laundry list of demands: “Make me laugh,” “Be a man with a plan,” “Take the lead,” etc.
At a certain point, I wonder whether a lot of men aren’t struggling to date and have sex with women so much as voluntarily opting out of the whole thing.
Hell, I know I am. I get more than enough matches. I make plans and cancel them all the time. And when I actually do make it out on a date, I almost never have any desire to follow up for a second one.
And of course, that’s not to suggest that men are anything to write home about, either. Between sports gambling, fantasy leagues, spending entire weekends glued to football, disappearing into video games for hours, and making the gym their entire personality.
At this point, though, the lifestyle of a monk is starting to seem increasingly appealing to me.
Y’all are out for really good looking comedians? Yeah, good luck with that.
Life is a pointless struggle that grows harder with each passing year, only to end in death and a return to nonexistence, where every memory and experience is ultimately erased. This is the crux of my depression, yet it seems like no therapist is truly trained to confront this. Which begs the question: why not? Is it because there’s no satisfying answer? Because the premise is too uncomfortable? Or because, on some level, we’re all, including mental health professionals, trying to deny or avoid that it is true?
You received 0 new likes!
Point of the post is: men…don’t waste your money on spotlights on this app.
Edit: oh wait, I received a like at the end of the spotlight! From a trans woman! 😒 (nothing against trans women, I’m just looking for a biological woman). Not renewing bumble. This app might be the worst of the bunch.
Meanwhile, I get plenty of likes from women who live more than an hour away (sometimes 2+ hours away). It’s a little hard to meet a woman for coffee when she lives 2 hours away.
I live in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area, and you’re telling me there isn’t a single compatible woman within a 30-minute drive?
Either these apps’ algorithms are seriously flawed, or they’re deliberately designed this way. My guess is the latter: if they consistently showed you the most compatible people nearby, you might actually meet someone and stop using the app. Keeping you swiping is the business model.
Meanwhile, I get plenty of likes from women who live more than an hour away (sometimes 2+ hours away). It’s a little hard to meet a woman for coffee when she lives 2 hours away.
I live in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area, and you’re telling me there isn’t a single compatible woman within a 30-minute drive?
Either these apps’ algorithms are seriously flawed, or they’re deliberately designed this way. My guess is the latter: if they consistently showed you the most compatible people nearby, you might actually meet someone and stop using the app. Keeping you swiping is the business model.
Or are we mostly being dragged along by two incredible forces: the fear of death and the desire to have sex?
We romanticize survival as some profound will to live, but maybe that gives us way too much credit. Perhaps we keep going largely because our brains are hardwired to fear death, while simultaneously dangling one of their strongest rewards in front of us: sex.
Strip away all the philosophy and meaning we pile on top of existence, and maybe the machinery underneath is embarrassingly simple: avoid death and seek sex.
And somewhere along the way, we started calling that a “will to live.”