u/Capital_Chapter1006

Hi all, I was wondering if anyone has any pearls of wisdom about this kind of situation. I’m estranged from my dad and I’ve been diagnosed with cancer after having major abdominal surgery . He doesn’t know, or at least, I haven’t told him.

The guilt is starting to eat at me and I’m having thoughts about telling him. Even though I don’t have a prognosis yet, I’m worried I’ll die before he does and am not sure if it’s okay that he finds out about everything after I’m gone.

The gory details about the estrangement and the cancer for the curious:

In 2013 I decided that I was sick of his wife SA-ing me and lowered contact with him to brief phone calls only. She’d recently put her hands on me, yet again, and I was absolutely and completely done. He’d never protected his children from his severely mentally unwell child-bride, and she’s been doing this to me since I was 7 or 8. And I’ve been so much happier since lowering contact and not seeing them anymore.

He completely severed contact last year, and I now know that it’s because the information about what his wife did to me has gotten out amongst the extended family. I’d told my siblings about the abuse when they started having kids. Figuring that they could then make informed decisions about what kind of contact she’d have with their kiddos.

I’m relieved that he severed contact completely, tbh. And don’t care that he’s telling everyone with ears that I’m a liar. He’s so pissed at me that he’s apparently blaming me for things that I have absolutely nothing to do with.

However, as previously stated, I’m now sick. And I honestly don’t know if he needs to know at all. My dad in his mid to late seventies and not in the best health. He told me when I was 18 that one day I’ll put him through so much stress, he’ll have a heart attack and die. So that thought is living rent free in my head as I deal with the reality of my own health.

The cancer consists of independent and seperate occurrences of ovarian and endometrial/uterine endometriod adenocarcinoma. Only Stage 1A, but Grade 3. In all honesty, having two independent occurrences aren’t a great sign and is rarely seen. There’s possible cancer on one of my kidneys, too. They don’t know for sure and are monitoring growth. The genetic doctors are testing me for everything they know of.

My mother died of unspecified origin adenocarcinoma that had metastasised. I’m also the youngest child and my dad is very emotional and dramatic. The way he talks about my mother’s cancer, it’s like it was sent to ruin his life or something.

No matter what, he’s going to be hurt and upset that I didn’t tell him about the surgery. It was big enough that even the doctors and nurses remark about how big it was. I’m pretty confident he’ll make the whole thing about himself, though. And because I want people to care, that’d really hurt me. :/

Sailor Moon fic readers, have you come across any fic that uses this premise? That you can recommend as a good read?

I read about the original plot in an Instagram post, you see, and have wanted to read this sort of thing for ages. It’s worth noting that Ikuhara ended up using the ideas from the script for Utena after he left the Sailor Moon studio.

If it’s okay, I’ll quote the details directly from this Instagram post:

https://www.instagram.com/p/C0VKEz9rinU/?igsi=MWF5dXowYXowbzN2Yw==

“Revolutionary Girl Utena was a series co-created by Kunihiko Ikuhara after he finished working on Sailor Moon SuperS.

The series is particularly notable because certain elements were derived from the original plot for the Sailor Moon SuperS movie. This story was devised by Ikuhara and producer Iriya Azuma, but Azuma left the Sailor Moon team before the movie went into production. Ikuhara therefore opted not to use the script.

According to Ikuhara:

It was going to be a story in which Uranus and Neptune were the main characters; a story independent of the TV series. Sailor Neptune was going to be in a 1000-year sleep at a palace called “The End of the World”, and Sailor Uranus would need to steal the talisman(s) from the Sailor Senshi and take se it/them to awake [sic] Sailor Neptune.
In this story, Sailor Moon would ride Pegasus to chase Sailor Uranus, who rides a Black Pegasus to the “End of the World”.
But before the production began, the producer walked off Sailor Moon, and later also did I. So I ended up using this idea for Utena.”

I have to get a loooot of blood tests and lately phlebotomists and nurses no longer fully loosen or remove the tourniquet from my arm.

From my very limited understanding, removing the tourniquet completely is correct practice. Are there reasons why a tourniquet isn’t removed or completely loosened while drawing blood? Some people have done the draw with it still fully tightened. And it gets left on for a long time, too.

I have to get a loooot of blood tests and have noticed two things:

- my veins have thinned wherever I can see then through my skin

- lately phlebotomists and nurses no longer fully loosen or remove the tourniquet anymore

It’s making me nervous and my understanding that removing the tourniquet completely is correct practice. Are there reasons why the tourniquet isn’t being removed or completely loosened? Some people have done the draw with it still fully tightened.

This is so good!

Link in post for people who prefer to copy and paste.

https://www.tumblr.com/radio-galaxy/823131128479301632/fuck-you-webtoon-ifies-your-griddlehark-heres-a

Hi all, I’m 45 F, currently recovering from surgery and have been diagnosed as having ovarian cancer as well as uterine cancer. They were growing independently of each other but were both endometrioid adenocarcinoma stage 1. Looks like it was all removed surgically and am now on a review schedule with no chemo planned just yet. However, there’s also a tumour on my right kidney and I’m positive for a very, very slow growing renal cancer tumour marker and will see the renal team in July.

The cancer stuff I can handle. My crazy strong family history of adenocarcinoma prepared me and I’m the fourth generation _in a row_ of daughters who have developed adenocarcinoma. For me it was a case of ‘when’ not ‘if’. My grandmother beat the odds and lived until her 70’s, maybe I will too. The rest died in their 30’s and their 40’s.

What I’m struggling with is that now I’m sick, people in my family want to help me. Even people who aren’t related to me and I thought didn’t like me, they’re all asking me what they can do for me.

The thing is, there’s not much they _can_ actually do for me. I feel like an arsehole because I keep promising to wrack my brains and let them know, but I have zilch. Some of them live two states away (I’m in Australia), most of them have parents and kids to care for and the only things I really need help with is food preparation, medication getting and clothes washing. And someone is already helping with all that. And very generously paying for the groceries, too.

I have compassion for the fact that they all seem to feel bad because I’m sick and this is scary for them. But I’m trying to heal and regrow my peritoneum so I just can’t come up with anything for them. Help? How do you manage this with patience and kindness when you’re in pain and tired af?

I’m not 100% sure, and I’m willing to wait until I’m fully healed before even thinking about it seriously, but I’m pretty sure I lost my navel piercing as a part of the surgery. I’m not mad about it at all, it was absolutely necessary.

But, has anyone here ever tried to pierce a navel again after surgery? And any specific advice about how wise-unwise that is?

I’ll happily let the piercing go if it’s a terrible idea to consider even wanting another piercing to do with my navel.

It’s adenocarcinoma Stage 1 that was growing in my right ovary and in my uterus.

I’m insanely lucky, given my family history that we found it early and that they found it contained in those two spots. The wash they did and the lymph node biopsies returned no cancer. This is just, I’m stunned. I’m stunned and grateful and how and thank goodness. I’m most likely the 4th generation in a row who had adenocarcinoma. Mother, her mother and her mother. This is mental.

So far, there’s no chemo they think I need to do. We’re settling into long term and regular monitoring of my CA-125 markers and CT scans. If anything comes back, we’ll have to see.

I just can’t stop being stunned. And the reality that the only real symptoms I’ve ever had was bleeding between my periods. That’s been happening since my mid to late 20’s. I was told it was stress. How long had this been growing in there?

Full, radical hysterectomy, omentum nixed and suspicious lymph nodes biopsied.

So far, disease looks limited to the cyst/ovary/fallopian tube. Depending on the results, chemotherapy might look a bit different.

Right now I’m just going to chill out in my hospital bed and rest. Thank all of you so much. Truly.

I was taking a walk the other day on my usual route, and noticed a painting that’s been abandoned on the footpath and propped up against a bollard.

It’s an eye looking down a tunnel and the painting is in reds and greys, homemade, not framed, probably by a novice painter.

I walked passed it again today and it’s still there and I’m wondering if I should chuck it in a bin if it’s still there in a week? It’s really creepy and gross.

I have spoken to gynae-oncologist, I understand my situation much better now. And it’s not great tbh. Evidence suggests of a fair bit of cancer. IF it’s cancer. Diagnosis absolutely required before committing to it.

Surgery is in two weeks, I’ve seen the stoma team and gotten my dots placed. I’ve also got the bowel prep to take the day before. Lots of pamphlets and warnings to not try and tough out pain. There was quite a firm warning that if she removes everything she feels she needs to, I could be in hospital for a week or longer. But, they should have me up and about on my second day.

I fully intend to race people.

Emotionally I’m a bit angry, grumpy. I feel like, and my psychologist confirms it, I’ve already had a challenging life and it sucks that I now have to deal with this. But I do, and I need to manage my emotions effectively. Which means taking responsibility for my pain management for the next two weeks because I’m very sore.

Things still feel like they’re moving very slowly but, I just want to not fight the process. And be patient. But, my fears are nipping at my heels and I’m struggling to manage them.

That cool art of Coronabeth by reimanticism and the conversations about how people picture her physically have made me wonder how everyone pictures Gideon. We don’t get a heeeap of detail about Gideon’s build or much info on if she’s big, thick and beefy or if she’s more of a ripped athletic type. Genetically speaking, we still don’t have much info, but can reasonably assume that if she’s big, thick and beefy, she got her physique, physicality and build from Wake. And definitely not Jod.

I’d love to know everyone’s reasoning, references and all the details if people are comfy to share, please.

It’s fun to look into, because the books give us a lot of freedom with deciding on character’s appearance as part of the reading experience. Aside from a precious few who have more details about how their bodies are structured, anyway (mainly the necromancers).

Thanks!

I have the date, the time, I have appropriate expectations for the appointment and some idea of what’ll happen. They especially noted that the surgeon will go over exactly what they’ve found and what that means.

They also said that my surgery will take place within 4 weeks of this appointment and I’m relieved. It feels like the limbo I was in is easing.

There’s only really been two downsides to the wait. I had another cyst rupture and it landed me in the ED again because of the symptoms, and at my gyno appointment they said they found more confirmation of a likely, very slow growing renal cancer. Thankfully with the ED trip, the bleeding wasn’t toooooo bad though I did have to move and breathe carefully for a couple of days.

I’m staying positive, I’m still not sold on “I for sure have cancer” yet, I’ll wait for the biopsy results and then manage whatever emotions come up. I do feel like I have to be strong for my sister whom I care for, and I’m worried that everything going on with me will trigger her psychosis and will land her in hospital again. She okay so far, she recently got discharged and she’s helping me so much. I’ll work with my psychologist to figure out strategies to set me up with good skills to help manage myself.

Right now, I mostly want my mum. I wish she were here to help out and take over care of my sister. She died of a metastatic non specific sarcoma when she was 36. Her mother had breast cancer and survived it and _her_ mother died young from suspected pancreatic cancer. I just feel like she’d understand, you know?

Oh well, let’s see how this unfolds. A confirmed appointment is the best news!

Hi all!

Migraine sufferer and inflammatory arthritis haver, here. I have a 4 year old iPhone SE that was working great for me until the update last night. It’s been extra great since an update changed the location of the browser search bar.

Unfortunately, the new Liquid Glass look, motion and layout is messing with my hands and my eyes. And really struggling with the brightness of the look of the design.

I know I can’t change where and how the alarms and timers alerts come up, but the swipe to stop alarm is causing me pain. Is there anything I can do about getting rid of the swipe?

With the visual stuff, I’ve done the following:
- appearance is set to “Dark”
- Liquid Glass is set to tinted
- bold text is on
- brightness lowered
- show borders is on
- reduce transparency is on
- increase contrast is on
- reduce motion is on
- prefer cross-fade transitions is on

I’m prepared to change the wallpaper to some plain and a single colour. I’m also prepared to use an ereader and go back to using a computer for everything I can.

Is there anything I’ve missed that will help make the display easier to look at and the layout less hard on my hands?

Hi all, hope it’s okay if I post here. So far I’m only suspected as having ovarian cancer, and I’m wondering if other people have had a similar experience to mine.

I presented to a doctor on the 16th of April after pretty bad abdominal pain, who sent me onto the ED. On the 17th of April following a CT and ultrasound, the ED confirmed either a 7cm mass on my right ovary or my ovary is a 7cm mass, no one has said anything definitive to me. And either the ovary or fallopian tube has burst. My bloods have come back with my ovarian cancer tumour markers as 10,100.

After speaking to a doctor at my home practice, he immediately referred me to a hospital close to me with a gyno section. They were initially worried about ovarian torsion, said I’d have surgery on the 27th of April and did another CT and ultrasound on the 21st of April.

The surgical team visited me and said they won’t be doing the surgery for the time being. I asked “isn’t the burst ovary/fallopian tube spreading cancer around my body if it’s cancer?” And they said that I’d be getting chemo anyway. That’s how I found out I’d be getting chemo. They also dropped the news about the hysterectomy, removal of ovaries, cervix and fat around the uterus in a similar way.

My next gyno appointment at the hospital isn’t until the first week of May. I have no idea about when the surgery is. I have very little information about what’s wrong with me and I live in daily fear of ovarian torsion and pain that isn’t improving and feels like it’s gotten worse.

Is this all normal? Am I wrong to be scared that things feel like they’re moving very slowly?