u/Carinaaac

I was in my first relationship for almost 4 years and he broke up over text because of religion, because apparently his family threatened him and he could lose them or worse. I'm devastated and angry by how he broke up over text because he didn't want to fight with me. He knew since childhood it's prohibited for him...and he kept pursuing me after we tried to breakup, making me feel like there's a chance, because he needed me as a comfort and placeholder. Honestly, even if we could have a future, It wouldn't work because he betrayed my trust in the past and I deserved better treatment.

I can't think of anything I did these past 4 years that made my life better...I barely focused on my dreams because I was constantly worrying about him and putting so much energy into him. I'm turning 24 next month and I regret a lot, and I'm not where I want to be at all, while his life got better with me, and now that he has more stability it's just a matter of time until he marries someone from his religion...and I feel used. It's a disgusting feeling. I didn't even have that many nice memories with him, he never planned dates and I settled. And I missed out on good memories to comfort his paranoia and jealousy. I was stupid and naive.

I keep thinking what if I left sooner? and regret the time wasted. He tells me he also wasted his time, but I did so much more for him, and he never wanted to fully let me go. But I know, at the end of the day I should have known better and left myself years ago when deep down I knew I'm just wasting time. Now I'm wasting my time being confused and wondering what he's doing. I just want to forget.

I never want to be so preoccupied with someone ever again. Now I feel so old, although I know I'm not, it's just that I'm behind in life. I just hate the thought of how I could have done so much for myself, how many creative projects I didn't do because our relationship was such an up and down and taking my energy. I never want to feel like this again. I'm heartbroken, but for the next 4 years I will use the time I've lost, for myself and my goals,and use it as a "distraction" to not think about him all the time,I want to forget him and how much he's hurt me. But I will never feel this used and insecure ever again. Hopefully I will remember this lesson.

I was in my first relationship for almost 4 years and he broke up over text because of religion, and because apparently his family threatened him. I'm devastated and angry by how he broke up over text because he didn't want to fight with me. He knew since childhood it's prohibited for him...and he kept pursuing me after we tried to breakup, making me feel like there's a chance, because he needed me as a comfort and placeholder. Honestly, even if we could have a future, It wouldn't work because he betrayed my trust in the past and I deserved better treatment.

I can't think of anything I did these past 4 years that made my life better...I barely focused on my dreams because I was constantly worrying about him and putting so much energy into him. I'm turning 24 next month and I regret a lot, and I'm not where I want to be at all, while his life got better with me, and now that he has more stability it's just a matter of time until he marries someone from his religion...and I feel used. It's a disgusting feeling. I didn't even have that many nice memories with him, he never planned dates and I settled. And I missed out on good memories to comfort his paranoia and jealousy. I was stupid and naive.

I keep thinking what if I left sooner? and regret the time wasted. He tells me he also wasted his time, but I did so much more for him, and he never wanted to fully let me go. But I know, at the end of the day I should have known better and left myself years ago when deep down I knew I'm just wasting time. Now I'm wasting my time being confused and wondering what he's doing. I just want to forget.

I never want to be so preoccupied with someone ever again. Now I feel so old, although I know I'm not, it's just that I'm behind in life. I just hate the thought of how I could have done so much for myself, how many creative projects I didn't do because our relationship was such an up and down and taking my energy. I never want to feel like this again. I'm heartbroken, but for the next 4 years I will use the time I've lost, for myself and my goals,and use it as a "distraction" to not think about him all the time,I want to forget him and how much he's hurt me. But I will never feel this used and insecure ever again. Hopefully I will remember this lesson.

He broke up because apparently his family threatened him and told him they know he's still talking to me. Told me they would kill him and it's his last chance. But He also knew it's forbidded for him to date outside his religion from the beginning (he's yazidi) and I wish he never even approached me in the first place, and didn't pursue me for 4 years just using me as a placeholder for his loneliness. And after telling me his brother threatened him, he also told me he hasn't been happy with me lately. Which reminded me of how he used religion in the past when it was convenient to him as an excuse to leave for some days.

I can't stop feeling like there's someone else too. He swore there's no one... He didn't text me for 7 days while he went away visiting his family, and only broke up after I reached out to ask if everything is fine. He didn't care for the 4 years, he simply broke up over text.

The thing is, I want to see what he will do these next weeks so bad, to confirm if he's really just protecting himself and listening to his family, or if my suspicion is true and he met someone else.

But I know it's probably best to not look at his socials. But Im very anxious now,and don't trust myself that I won't see something hurtful, but even if I do find out religion isn't the only reason he left, what am I gonna do?

I'm just really mad for being hidden in this relationship, and everyone else thinking he's been single for the past year...

also so angry at myself for letting him back in, I should have continued no contact and not let him back the last time,then I might have not felt so used like a placeholder.

My (25M) now ex-boyfriend broke up with me (23F) last night and I'm so heartbroken but also confused. Our relationship had many ups and downs and we tried breaking up many times but he'd never leave me alone and pursued me despite him being yazidi, he wasted 4 years when he knew from the beginning he can't be with me. I can't stop being disappointed and angry, he knew since he was little it's taboo to date someone outside his religion. He should have never approached me in the first place. While he went to visit his family I didn't hear from him for 7 days. But I tried to give him space even though I felt very anxious and bad. Last night I asked if everything is well finally, and he broke up over text.

Here's what he texted:

"My brother argued with me

again and said, "We've told you a thousand times to leave that girl alone and tell her you don't want anything to do with her anymore." He even had pictures of us while we were in the car. I have no idea where he got them. He said he has friends in M...

... There's no other woman in my life, and it's better if we don't see each other anymore. My family is very strict and very religious; they don't allow me to be with a woman who isn't Yazidi. I only have my brother and sister here. Do you want me to lose them too? If you want what's best for me, please leave me alone and don't make a drama like last time.I won't text or call you anymore, and I won't visit you at all. Focus on yourself, not me. I'm not your future, and we don't have a future together. Try to understand me, or I'll lose my family. My brother talked to my mother, father, and everyone else, and they gave me one last chance. Please don't cause me any problems; I want to be alone. I haven't been happy with you lately like I used to be, and I've been stressed all the time. Anyway, this is long; I can't write everything. I wish you all the best." And "I'm losing my family if I continue to have contact with you.You don't know them, they'll kill me, they don't care if I live here or not."

I just kept him company for 4 years and put so much more energy into him than he put into me. He knew he'd always have my back and felt comfortable with me, and made me feel like things will get better. I was just a placeholder, I don't even know why he was with me, if he thinks woman in the west aren't trustworthy and the woman in his culture are so much better. He should have just pursued someone from his religion, I felt like he was ready to get married now that he has more going on for himself...of course not with me. It's just a matter of time until he jumps from this relationship into marriage.

I'm heartbroken, but I know it's for the best. Honestly even if we could have a future, I couldn't do it either, because he didn't treat me all that well, I was always holding on to the good moments. I was always the one forgiving and walking on eggshells, I had to be the perfect girlfriend. I basically carried the relationship by making myself smaller. But I had genuine feelings for him and I'm not sure how to move on, especially since this was my first relationship and we've been very close these last years and he was basically my closest friend too.

He was my first boyfriend, I've been with him from 19 to 23 and although I really loved him, the relationship was toxic and I forgave him too many times...on top of knowing we can't ever marry or be together in the future, I felt stuck and put up with everything like an idiot, knowing I deserve someone who's sure about me, who doesn't lie to me...and I was also warned that he won't marry me but he gave me the feeling there's a chance.

He's yazidi and I'm christian. Just last week he was telling me that when he comes back from visiting his family, we would do this and that together, so I was exited for when he'd come back and missed him. Then when he went to visit his family, he didn't text me for a full week. Today I texted him, he was too much of a coward to talk to me and tell me we need to breakup, or respect me enough to talk face to face.

He just switched up on me one day to the other. Of course after I asked if everything is alright,he told me we have to breakup, told me he can't marry me, that he promised his brother on his visit he's not talking to me, that they would kill him if they find out again.

I had the feeling he might be cheating, he promised he isn't, but he just became so cold on top of it, told me he wasn't happy lately with me and felt stressed. It sounded like he was breaking up not because of religion, but because he just doesn't want me. He knew from the beginning he shouldn't pursue me. And while I was pouring my heart out he just told me he doesn't want to fight, I was trying to be as understanding as possible while communicating how I feel. I told him about my love for him, but he just apologized and said it has to be this way.

I'm so heartbroken, some time ago we were in no contact for 3 weeks and I shouldn't have taken him back. He was never sure about me, but kept me close enough because I did so much for him. He was my first everything and I've spend the last 4 years putting so much energy into him, I feel like he's a part of me and now he told me he will never call me or meet me again, because he can't lose his family. I feel so alone, and he tells me I have my mother at least, that he's also alone but can't lose his family.

It's been an hour since we texted, I can't take the hurt and pain from this relationship anymore. I gave him the fault that he should have never pursued me, but I also should have left him for the first time and not fell for his tries in wanting me back. I can't stop feeling like he met someone else.

I'm heartbroken, I feel like I will never fall in love again because it's just so difficult for me to even have a crush on someone. I feel so used, my time wasted, so much I didn't do, because I was always preoccupied with him.

Despite everything I will forever miss him. I don't know how I will make it through this summer that's gonna start soon, when we got to know each other on those long summer nights 4 years ago.