u/Character-Rate-8358

Hi all, I know I've posted on here before, but I don't care 😂. You guys are very supportive and seem to have information that can help me digest my mother's behavior.

this is a short question, but I recently came across my mother's cheating via text messages. One detail that kinda stuck with me however is that she referred to my father and I by our initials. An example would be "E just left for a min" or "Sorry D is with me, can't talk"

I thought this was due to laziness at first, but she texted the affair partner's full name everytime with no problem. It feels a bit dehumanizing and disrespectful to refer to someone just by their initial. Considering that I have been unknowingly watching after my disabled brothers while she's out on the town.

What could this mean with her behavior? Is this somekind of code or psychological avoidance? She is a serial cheater as I found evidence old affair partners that date back to the beginning of their marriage. I also told my father to check her phone, but I think he would rather stick his head in the sand than deal with it.

All advice appreciated!

Hi, so I've already posted to this subreddit, but long story short - I believe my mother is a narcissist. She's an alcoholic with a track record of drinking vodka everyday and has stressed me the fuck out between dealing with her and my disabled siblings on a daily basis.

One memory I have of her is being passed out on the floor drunk when coming home at around 11 years old from school, the house would be a mess from my siblings and I would have to clean up. You can see my past posts to look at her behavior, but I recently found text messages between her and one of my siblings therapists of her cheating for the past 3 years. I told my father about it, but he's so stuck being an enabler that he can't confront it. She's a serial cheater with a past record dating back into 2 years into their marriage.

For the past two days, her behavior has taken a 180; calling me "sweetie", not drinking alcohol, and drinking coffee in the morning (I literally have never seen her drink coffee in like 6 years). I would think she's turned over a new leaf, but I know she's still talking to the guy. I saw out of my peripheral vision her texting him on Saturday, and when I scrolled through her messages before - I remember them talking about meeting on the 11th (today). She told me however that she'll be going to these doctor appointments all day and that I need to stay home and monitor my siblings therapy :( She went out to eat with my father twice yesterday, which I've never seen them do, and they went out shopping together.

I've been acting distant lately, as it's been hard to even look at her the same way, and she's been making comments on how quiet I've been - asking me if I'm tired. I overheard her talking about me to my father yesterday saying my personality was just "ugh" as soon as I left the room. I just know she hasn't changed in the span of a few days, has anyone else experienced this? What does this mean? I help both my parents on a daily basis by making my siblings lunches, prepping medicine, and bathing. Do they just not want me to leave? I hate being paranoid, but I've been pushed to this point.

Edit: her mother just passed around a month ago from a very bad cancer and you would think that Mother's Day would affect her or be somewhat sad, but she's acting like this instead.

I just had to vent/question about this. To start, my mother was very popular in highschool. She was the head cheerleader, on homecoming court, had tons of parties at her house, and never had to go single anywhere. Everyone loved her, and if you looked at her yearbook, you would've thought she was somekind of celebrity. I unfortunately did not turn out the same. I was mainly a loner with a few friends, bullied, and basically sat in the back of class drawing all the time (total art kid). She always tried to get me on the dance team, give me pointers on how to hang out with the popular kids, and how to get boys to like me. I'm now in college but staying at home to save money, and she bought two tickets to a concert for us. So far, she's already critiquing what I'm wearing, how my hair is styled, and telling me to "follow my lead, I know what's popular" She even had the gall to say "people will like you because you're associated with me", when I told her I don't really care about what people think, she kept bringing up "well don't get job connections then, don't you care about connections??". But it's like she doesn't even care about the progress I've made in my career: volunteering for research institutes and talking to people across the U.S., local cancer centers, and publishing articles. That's all been done by myself, and it's like she doesn't even give a shit. It's like I'm only seen as an extension of others, rather than an individual person. The bad thing about it is that people generally do like her better. I'm always too quiet, too polite, and not enough of a 'partier'. I'm just tired lol.