u/Charming-Cup801

Look, I know all of this is fully my fault but please bear with me. I am sixteen and Im starting college in September. I knew that deep down my friend would spoil my experience. I know that is so selfish of me to think but it is how I feel. I ghosted her fully and now shes blocked me on everything. I also know I am not the victim here, I am the complete opposite.

I was fully alone for a year and it caused me on multiple occasions to almost take my own life. I am overly needing when it comes to company. I feel completely lost when I dont have a friend and until September I will not have a friend. How do I make sure that I will be okay? How do I either suppress my need for company or distract that need?

im really sick right now, i think its covid or the flu or something and my brain is silent. i can hear muffled static but its so quiet. i really need to know how to never lose this feeling. im not on drugs and i have taken any medicine either.

im really sick right now, i think its covid or the flu or something and my brain is silent. i can hear muffled static but its so quiet. i really need to know how to never lose this feeling. im not on drugs and i have taken any medicine either.

I have never done anything alone, I have never gone out on my own, I have never bought anything alone, I have never made a decision without consulting my mother, I have never spoken to a family member without needing to involve my mother.

I am sixteen now and I really want some independence. Id love to just get up and go get coffee or go shopping without having to wait until my mother has the money or when she feels like it. I wanna go see family whenever I want and not have to explain to her that i’m not going alone to talk badly about her. I want to be able to text my dad and not have her panic and tell me to delete the message because I worded something in a way she wouldn’t. I want to be able to talk to a friend and not have her ask what i’m talking about. Id like to just buy stuff with my own money and not have to ask her if I can spend my money.

I have always had a dream of going shopping alone and getting a coffee but I dont know how to convince her that I can.

I have never done anything alone, I have never gone out on my own, I have never bought anything alone, I have never made a decision without consulting my mother, I have never spoken to a family member without needing to involve my mother.

I am sixteen now and I really want some independence. Id love to just get up and go get coffee or go shopping without having to wait until my mother has the money or when she feels like it. I wanna go see family whenever I want and not have to explain to her that i’m not going alone to talk badly about her. I want to be able to text my dad and not have her panic and tell me to delete the message because I worded something in a way she wouldn’t. I want to be able to talk to a friend and not have her ask what i’m talking about. Id like to just buy stuff with my own money and not have to ask her if I can spend my money.

I have always had a dream of going shopping alone and getting a coffee but I dont know how to convince her that I can.

I am sixteen and i have never left the house alone before. I have been to the local shop alone maybe once or twice and when I was in school I would get the bus into school alone but I have never gone out of the house and done something alone.

Theres a town an hour bus ride away that I feel like I haven't really explored yet and I would really like to but my first problem is that I don't have a credit on my phone so I cant call anyone or use mobile data and because the town is still somewhat new to me I don’t know my way around fully so I would need directions and id also need to know bus times because its all really confusing to me but I cant get those on my phone because I don't have data. For me to go out and be able to still get directions I would need to take my mothers phone which I cant because then shes stuck at home with no WiFi or nothing.

I really want to experience going out alone before I start college. Its really embarrassing to me that I have never done anything alone. Its usually because I have to rely on my mothers money but right now i have £60 so I can go outside alone and fund myself.

im worried that when im going to try and get to know people ill struggle because i dont really know anything about me. if someone comes up to me and just says “tell me about yourself!” i think ill genuinely just freeze up because i have no idea and im confident, im very confident and i can talk for hours but i just dont know how to answer if someone asks me about myself.