u/CheesecakeOk8464

My kids fight tooth and nail and I need a gut check to tell if this is normal or if I should be concerned. Are you all going through this or are my kids insane???

My kids (13f, 10m) and my husband were downstairs watching TV while I was upstairs reading. Apparently my daughter put her head close to my son's feet (they were next to each other on the couch) and didn't like that, so yelled at her to move her head. Daughter of course doubles down and moves her head closer, so son started screaming. Daughter then starts threatening to punch son (for context, she's trans amab and a very big kid, while my son is small) and son starts screaming that she's going to punch him. When he screams like that he sounds ABSOLUTELY terrified and it kills me. Son responds by kicking his sister in the face, daughter starts screaming hysterically. They start physically fighting and my husband (who's been trying to calm them and stop their fighting this whole time) has to physically drag daughter off of son. He takes my son up to bed, talks to him a bit to get him calmed down and settled. This whole time daughter was hysterically crying/screaming downstairs. Husband goes back downstairs to talk to daughter, he starts in on her about antagonizing her brother, daughter calls him a "terrible fucking parent" and flies off to her room. Now my husband is in bed with me feeling awful that she said that.

Is this normal?? Is it hormones or what?? This kind of thing has been happening A LOT. My daughter is constantly antagonizing and picking on my son and just PUSHING. No, my son shouldn't have kicked her in the face but I genuinely feel like he was terrified she was going to hurt him so acted in self defense. I think he's afraid of her and it kills me to think that.

My daughter is in therapy and I plan to bring this up with her therapist.

Edit: I should probably also mention that my daughter is autistic, level 1.

Edit: I couldn't sleep last night so I got up around 11 to come downstairs and read. My daughter came out of her room and apologized for saying what she said about her dad. She said she texted him too to apologize. I apologized for her getting in trouble because I see now that my son was just as much to blame. She said she was just so shocked that my son kicked her that she lashed out, and I feel that's reasonable. She was super mature about it and I'm proud of her.

Yesterday I sat in on a therapy session between my daughter and her therapist. Everything was going really great. This was the first session with this therapist so I was nervous about it, but he was wonderful with her. I felt really at ease about how the conversation was going. About ten minutes before it finished though I started getting really uneasy. I felt like my daughter was getting tired (the therapist was doing intake so he was asking a LOT of questions), and I felt like the therapist was rushing a bit to finish everything before their next session. It made me super uncomfortable and like I wanted to cry.

It made me realize that this happens a lot. Everything could be going hunky dory, the something imperceptible happens and suddenly I'm super uncomfortable.

Do shifts in vibes totally throw you guys off? Is this an autism thing?

I can actually enjoy my shower! I can have a hot water shower without worrying about passing out! I wasn't dizzy, lightheaded, nauseous, NOTHING. Normally my showers are a race to the finish because I feel so awful, but none of that this time. I sat under the HOT water and enjoyed it. For all those who are resisting getting a shower stool/chair: GET ONE.

I know this'll probably get buried in all the other posts about shitty husbands, but I need to vent.

I get a mother's day gift every year from my husband. He's always really stepped up and made my day special. He always gets a gift from me for father's day. This year I said I wanted him to take the kids shopping and have them each pick something out for me, but meant that in addition to a gift. He took them out yesterday, and they came back with cute baskets full of my favorite snacks, a blanket, an orchid, and a few other things. I really appreciate that and I loved them. However, I asked if my husband had a gift and he said he put stuff in the baskets. I asked what was from him, and he said the meat sticks. THE MEAT STICKS???

Then today he forgot to give me my card. He also made a flowery Facebook post about his mom, and how she was the best mom ever, and nothing about me. He also took his mother out for breakfast this morning while he just got me Tim Hortons. I had also asked him to fix our leaking kitchen sink, which has been leaking for three weeks now, and he just duct taped it.

I don't know, I'm sad. He never said anything to me today about how I'm a good mother. Nothing about appreciating all I do.

Edit: omg. I just asked him why he made a Facebook post about his mom but not me, and he sighed and ROLLED HIS EYES, then made a Facebook post with a pic of the kids from years ago, just saying "these kids are super lucky to have such a super mom". Nothing about how HE'S grateful for me. He then said he's sorry if he ruined my day but he doesn't understand why, in this whole woe is me attitude. Basically turning himself into the victim. He said his mom was upset with him too because he didn't get her a card. I asked why on earth he didn't get her a card and he said because "he's awful". So I'm done with him. I went upstairs to my room and plan to stay here for the evening.

Hi all, I just had my tilt table test and was diagnosed with POTS. So I'm new to all this. I haven't really exercised in awhile (couple of years) because of always feel like crap - which I now realize is exercise intolerance. I'm pretty sedentary but can walk around a store, for instance.

I want to start exercising but don't know where to start. I'm going to try walking daily, and maybe swimming a couple of times a week, but beyond that? I know we should focus on seated or laying down exercises, but I don't have access to a recumbant bike or a rower. What other exercises can I do while seated and/or laying down? Also should I start with floor based exercises and work up to walking and swimming?

Any advice you can give is welcome!

I've decided that for mother's day, I want to go on a picnic in the woods. Any ideas on a good place for this? I want to bring our folding chairs and sit and relax for a couple of hours, but I don't want it to be a typical picnic/grassy area. I want to be in the woods, similar to like a campsite. Thanks in advance!!

I have a history of severe depression and anxiety, and am on a number of psych meds which keep me stable and make me so I don't want to off myself. I've been dizzy/lightheaded when standing for years, and after fainting a few times recently I talked to my PCP about it, who said it sounded like Pots and referred me to a cardiologist. This cardiologist was such a jerk. He made a big deal of going through all my meds and telling me which ones can cause dizziness, even after I told him I was dizzy before being put on those meds. He also said I need to lose weight and that I needed to "special order" compression socks because my calves were so big.

I had my TTT yesterday and just got the results and they're positive for POTS. I cannot wait to see this cardiologist again so I can tell him I told you so and watch him eat his words. I feel so vindicated!!

My 13 yo has gotten to be pretty overweight. She has anxiety pretty bad and is homeschooled, and doesn't get out of the house much because of it. So she doesn't get much in the way of physical activity. We're working on that. She has an ok diet, we don't allow much bad food in the house, but she eats too much.

How do we talk to her about her weight gain, or do we even talk to her? When I was the same age I gained a lot of weight and my mom talked to me about it, and I was soooo embarrassed. I don't want to do that to my child. But I quit taking dance lessons around that time and I wish that someone had told me how important keeping physically active was. When my mom talked to me she basically told me I was eating too much and eating the wrong things, she didn't really go about it the best way. I want to somehow tell my daughter that keeping physically active is important. I just don't know how to without shaming her.

Any advice?

I had to clean my bathroom today. I've been putting it off and putting it off and today it HAD to be done. And I swear my reaction to the thought of cleaning is not normal. I get SO overwhelmed and even the thought of scrubbing my toilet was sending me into an anxiety attack. I literally had to take a deep breath to calm myself before attacking it. I eventually did it, but this is after days of agonizing over it. Of course it took maybe 10 minutes lol.

Is anyone else like this? Just the thought of cleaning sends me into an anxiety attack and I get overwhelmed. I try breaking it down into smaller steps, playing music, giving myself a reward, etc and nothing helps. I want to have a clean house but this is preventing me from having it. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I had a kind of revelation last night.

I'm terrible at making friends. I can make them okay online, but when it comes to meeting in person I get scared. I have a close friend that I text with nearly every day who lives two hours away from me and who I've never met. We've known each other online for over 10 years. I'm too afraid to meet.

I was daydreaming last night and thinking what I'd do if my husband and I ever broke up (I'm very happily married lol). Would I seek out another male partner or would I stay single? I came to the conclusion that'd id seek out another partner but I was thinking if I'm afraid to meet potential girl friends, what would make me ok with meeting potential boyfriends? And I realized I wouldn't be afraid to meet boyfriends. I'd be hella nervous, but I'd do it.

What is the difference? I realized that in order to meet anyone, male or female, it would require me to be vulnerable with them. And I'm ok with being vulnerable with a man, but not a woman. Why is that?? Is it because I'm attracted to men and not women? Meeting a woman feels like it's "too close" and like it'll expose a part of me I don't want exposed. I almost wonder if it's because I don't trust women. I've been burned by a lot of female friendships in my past. Or maybe it's because in a friendship you become close but not that person's everything like you do in a romantic relationship. I don't know. I'm just spit balling here.

I'd like to move past this so that I can actually meet some female friends. I have exactly zero friends that I can do things with in person. I have lots of online friends like I said, but nothing that's extended into real life. Does anyone else share these feelings and can help me figure out what's going on here?