u/ChefGrouchy8538

Hello all, been at an express since July.

Their intention for me at the moment is to be post-office trained and then aid/cover in the post office in the run up to xmas.

They then want me to do step-up and become a shift leader.

From speaking to other shift leaders, my experience as a team leader at Costa, the “old guard” staff refusing to do their jobs and subsequent lack of support from the manager I have decided I absolutely do not want to do it.

I have been recovering from burnout from costa as I was doing 55 hour weeks for months and I have had a tumultuous year (Deaths, lost a flat, breakup with fiancè etc). I genuinely dont think I would cope with the workload.

Can I say no? I think they hired me with the expectation I’d do it but it seems intolerable for me given my mental state and the dynamic of the store.

Hello,
I’ve just done an at-home STI test kit at 00:30 this morning, I have forgotten it’s sunday so I can’t send it off until 9am monday morning at the soonest.

Will this be okay? will the lab reject my test and should i be worried?

20m, had chlamydia before, tested negative twice two years ago and was in a long term relationship until spring this year. I’m in the UK

since then I have slept with 7 people, all without protection and the honor system of “do you have any diseases? no? lets proceed” - Bad idea but these are all very quick hookups.

Only one of these people has a reputation for sleeping around and potentially has a disease, which is frightening, however the people I know she has slept with are fine.

I have no current symptoms and I am sleeping with someone exclusively as we have both agreed we have needs and if we have a disease, then we should keep it between ourselves.

I did order an at-home STD kit but had a panic attack over the needle stamp - I have had lots of health issues before and been left in A&E with needles bandage taped into my arm, nurses ignoring me when I requested the only vein i knew would draw blood among other things, I am struggling to book an in-person appointment and the only walk in clinics are for 18 or unders.

What can I do? I thought of doing a urine-only test in the meantime, as without an appointment forcing me to have blood drawn, I will not be able to do it to myself.

Just decided to write this rant as it may make me feel better.
WHY can no one do the speed limit on this stretch of road? WHY are we all doing 40 in 60’s??? and braking for every goddamn corner??

Blandford to Dorchester SHOULD take 20 minutes, it usually takes me 30-40 because some pensioner in a honda jazz thinks going from 50 to 35 because the road bends 1 degree to the left is safe!!!

if you cannot carry 55-60mph through those bends your license should be taken away because you cannot drive.

And you finally get to the bypass and on the slip road why are we all doing 35? PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN JANET I’M TRYNA GET PLACES

Through the villages my point is moot as it is a 30mph limit.

I am half-joking, I’m happy I moved away this used to drive me loopy

I’ve had a bad year, my fiancè left me, my unborn child died, both granddads died at the tail end of 2025, lost my job, lost my flat.

My mum and brother practically begged me to come home, as soon as I’ve come home they start asking for bill money - Bills they were able to keep paying while I’ve been away but as soon as I’m back they ask for money. My brother is unemployed now and dictates where I can put my things, he’ll follow me and turn off lights and appliances when i leave a room.
House has no gas, went to cook today and couldn’t, i need to top it up, but already gave mum £200 this month.

My brother treats me like shit on his shoe, he says I don’t deserve to be treated like a human because I’m: Selfish, Lazy, unapologetic, fat and a narcissist (I deny all of these apart from fat, he called me the last one because I demanded I be treated like a human). He also added that because I was groomed at age 11 and our technology was taken from us that impacted him so much I deserve to be mistreated. That stung, I repressed my feelings about that and it brought it back up. He also said that when we were younger the home dynamic was just about “keeping you happy, mum hates when you get angry”. THIS MAN WAS TOLD BY DOCTORS HE IS A THREAT TO HIMSELF AND OTHERS!!!

He also used to take photos and videos of me while I showered. He and his new gf have been taking photos of me and sending them to each other to badmouth my appearance, something I’ve struggled with from being called fat. The girls at my previous work showed concern as I apparently described that I have an eating disorder without realising.

My car then failed MOT, my brother told me he’d help as I’m not that way inclined, he then drove off as soon as I got the car on stands WITH MY PARTS and refused to answer the phone when I called him, despite being active. I even offered to pay him beforehand as he specifically requested but apparently i didn’t offer enough.

It got to me, I went ape-shit and started to throw things, I ripped a blind off the wall, threw a shoe stand filled with shoes and punched the wall so hard I’ve apparently gone through it. My brother has seen it and is now DEMANDING that i pay “immediately” and has taken great pleasure in inviting his gf over, showing her and then looking at it for forty minutes. Bearing in mind the bedroom door I have is indented from him!

I was bawling to my mum and she didn’t even console me she just went on about the price of a wimpy cheeseburger in the 80’s!!! I wish I was making that up my mum didn’t seem to care about the fact I was mid breakdown??

Nothing that I did was okay, I have not been this angry while I lived alone, it seems I only get THAT angry when he pushes me over the edge and given my mental state I can’t tolerate it enough to turn the other cheek, so I’ll be diverting course and picking up overtime to GET OUT! This is unacceptable behaviour on my part and I did have systems in place to stop this ever happening as I have issues with anger so I remove myself before it gets to this stage…

I now feel pathetic as I had to BEG him to help me with my car, he wouldnt let me ask the garage to fix it as he insisted he would do it for me today :/ I have no idea why I listened, but I’m not letting him do the service! I’m going to a garage, I’ll pay any price for someone else to touch my car!

I also confided in a mutual friend what was bothering me… He told me I was being dramatic and to “stop fucking complaining” then rang my brother and read off my messages to him. I thought he was a friend I could go to!

So yeah, moving home may actually be the stupidest thing I’ve done, goddammit.

I hate my life.

20M, looking to visit next year (probably alone) for 10-14 days to do the ring road. likely in April so not expecting to go on F-roads

My current method of travelling is to go somewhere new with little planning and then just wander about exploring and checking things out.

I’m planning to rent a 4x4 or similar and drive along the ring road, stopping when things look cool/catch my eye, resting and then moving on the next day.

I don’t want to over-plan because the pressure to tick boxes will ruin the fun and defeat the point of exploring.

Any ideas?

20m, been struggling with my sexuality for years at this point and since becoming an adult/an extrovert (somehow) I’ve been meeting more and more people and the sort of people I meet gets more varied as time goes on.

This has led to experimenting and the realisation that I am definitely not straight, and when I lived away from home I was beginning to be a lot more confident and expressive in my sexuality.

I have moved back home with family and to my hometown. This has been a massive step back and caused some conflict because I feel like I have to hide who I am.

This causes issues dating men because they have to be okay with never meeting or having a relationship with my family and I understand if that turns them away

I’m sure that I could tell my people who I am and they’d support me, but I know equally well that it will result in bullying and the constant mentioning of my sexuality which I am uncomfortable with. Simply telling people it’s a very personal thing and not to be repeated has failed before when I tried to come out. a good friend of mine blurted it out in front of people I told him NOT TO TELL and out of shame I said “no no i was kidding” and he doubled down and I wanted to cry.

In terms of dating, I now can’t really go out late at night for my various “activities” because when I come back I i will face endless questions. I’m actually thinking of moving far away asap just so I can truly experiment and live truly.

This is before we get onto the issue that I am ashamed of my sexuality, even when reassured something inside makes me feel disgusted when I have encounters with men, even though I so very clearly feel attraction and actually caught feelings for someone who wasn’t a woman this year - That was the last straw that confirmed my identity.

I’m also of the belief that George michael had about his sexuality that it’s no one’s business but mine - why do I need to come out??? I got out of a long term relationship with a woman this year and she was upset I never told her, I just didn’t find it something she needed to know.

Just needed to vent this to someone and I haven’t got anyone I can in my life.

20M UK had a management position that I was fired from for filling out paperwork incorrectly, I knew i was doing it wrong but as everyone else did it I assumed it was okay to, rookie error but I have learnt that now.

I’ve also been robbed, dumped, had to work 50+ hours to afford the flat I’ve just moved out of, gone into debt and my unborn child didnt make it.

Now I’m back home, I can’t keep a job, i was like this when I was younger but now I’ll start a job then during the night panic so much I run away and hide.

This current job i no-showed today, turned off my phone and literally drove 100+ miles away just to escape. I think I’ve blagged it as I’ve said I didn’t see the rota but I understand I’m going to be whipped.

I now live with my mum and brother who decide to try and wake me up for my shifts despite the fact they know I’ve asked them NOT TO and that when they do it ruins my entire day because I wake up panicking.

When I lived alone this was never an issue I could get up and go, come home and rest.

Now I’m dealing with constant screaming and shouting and people waking me up 4 HOURS before my shift starts for no f*cking reason. I’ve stopped telling them when I work because I’m tired of it.

I am struggling mentally, I should be able to sustain 40 hour work weeks and long shifts, I now cannot tolerate 30 a week, 8 hour shifts, I have reached genuine overwhelming burnout somehow.

What’s wrong with me? why do I do this? I thought I’d grown out of it. I can’t move out again because I needed to come home so I could recover from burnout from the last 2 years of living alone and to pursue traveling.

20M here, got about a week until I start my new job and I thought about hopping in my VW Polo and driving to middelburg.

Should only take 6 hours, and the entire trip can be done on less than 1 full fuel tank!!

However my car has not had a service in 10,000 miles and the oil level will drop soon, just a little concerning as I don’t want it to go bang.

HOWEVER, I have done Winchester -> Schonecken in a citreon C1 before so the polo will be luxurious 🤣

Is it stupid?

Hello,
Fairly new to this but know a couple of people who have converted vans; One was £30,000 and the other was a scraped together build in a very old school bus.

I am planning to build a very minimalist “weekender” van, this means likely a citreon berlingo sized van, with the least amount of furniture(??) and the cheapest to build. I have no idea if I’m going to like van life so I’ve chosen this over my original idea to convert a SWB sprinter (with shower, toilet and all that jazz).

So far, as I’m 6”0 the bed will need to be one of those sliding ones, or a big platform (I have no idea how to build the latter, but could easily figure out the former). I was going to build a drawer that would sit a camping stove and maybe a tap on the side of the van (or something in the rear door) to act as a basic washing up station, draining onto the floor or into a bucket or something?

Basically, I want to get this done with no frills, just the bare minimum needed to go away for a couple of days, my phone can be charged from a solar power bank so thats not an issue, I can get this little power pack that runs a couple of lightbulbs too :)

I’m very sleepy so I doubt this all makes sense, lmk any ideas/help as I’m clueless and its very important I learn this!

20M, Currently renting solo and looking to move home after a relationship breakdown/decided to move home and stand a chance at saving.

I have been looking at buying 1 bed flats and houses as the mortgages are a LOT cheaper than renting and the idea of living somewhere that’s never truly mine is uncomfortable.

In my area/where I’d like to live, flats are around £85-110K, and 1 bed houses are £140K minimum.

Weirdly, the mortgage for a 1 bed house works out cheaper than the 1 bed flat after factoring in ground rent and service charge.

However, a 1 bed house would require a car as they are not in walkable locations, the flats have public transport connections and I could swap back to a motorcycle if I needed it.

But, a 1 bed house would be COMPLETELY mine? if that makes sense, it feels more permanent and actually preferable.

Another option is to buy a 1 bed flat initially then “upgrade” to a 1 bed house, by saving a deposit and then adding whatever money comes from selling the flat? not sure how that works?

Salary wise, currently on £25K, not looking to increase much in the next 5 years.

Any ideas?