u/Chicken_nuggies122

For context she calls me her best friend and we talk and call all the time, but she has always hung out and dated a guy who said very nasty things about my identity "if it sounds like a girl thats what im gonna call it" and so forth. I was very hurt not from him, but my friend, because hes an asshole i cant do anything about it, but she dated that person, what does this tell me? I talked to her about that multiple times and that I dont feel comfortable that she keeps making friends who are obviously and outwardly homophobic. But then she started getting lippy with me and implying im dramatizing.

"My parents are homophobic, you want me to stop talking to them too? It seems like no matter what i do, the fact that Im cishet always gets in the way"

No. Its not her identity that gets in the way. It's her blatant ignorance and the fact that she couldn't give less of a shit because the hatred isnt aimed at her and hasnt been her entire life so she has no idea how this feels.

Why call me a best friend if you hang out with people who would/have disrespected me for something u cant control? I dropped the topic with her since we could never find middle ground and im just talking to her less, i got snippy, and i tell her that im not her best friend because she acts this way.

I get that she's lonely, and im not trying to bring her down with me just because im doing badly and my social life is in shambles and because ill probably never be loved. Her behavior just greatly upset me and im holding a grudge. I really want to let go, but i dont know how to. Every time i speak to her i just get reminded of how her desperation makes her hang out with people that hate my existance.

I dont know, i would ask for advice, but this is also a vent. Im torn

For context i just turned 18 a few months ago, my parents are divorced and have been since i was around 3, i met my dad actually sober and recovered when I was 13 and I thought that things would maybe improve in some way, but as the years pass, its obvious that maybe all that he does for me is give me money. And i feel guilt to be saying all of this, but i barely feel any actual connection with him; all the weight has been falling on my mom when it came to raising me, his part of the family talk awful about my mom and his new girlfriend is a jealous piece of shit. My dad doesnt know how to be an actual parent and when i tell him that honestly he gets real butthurt and starts an argument that ends in both of us yelling and with me to blame for saying it to him.

In reality, these ill thoughts have been cooking up for years, the abandonment felt real and im trying to balance myself out whenever it gets triggered, but really he makes it worsen despite now being "in" my life. He NEVER has any time, and when I texted him recently to hang out he said he was abroad with his girlfriend because he was on a break...and it made me feel very shitty. It was still summer break when they went, not a word came out, no one thought about me coming along too. He did that a several times more this year, them going to fun places and im left in the apartment me and my mom live in; and on top of everything my mom did the same, she went on vacation with her boyfriend and left me at home for a week and dumped all the house chores.

I dont have any friends, i dont go out, im super lonely because im transgender living in a very homophobic country, maybe its my fault for being so emotionally dependant on them. But it feels like being in the middle of a couple who wants to forget their past and im just a reminder of a past long ago broken. I dont know what to do, and im thinking about not talking to them about it anymore because it feels like they just dont want me there at all, maybe i need to get the memo

It was around christmas 2025, we found out he had advanced kidney failure and that nothing could be done for it, but we tried with the therapy they suggested just in case he could be helped, and i wanted to know that in the end of the day, i did everything I could to help him, I was feeling crushed, the pain was immense, what hurt the most was watching his life leave him and yet still want to be next to me. He was 9 years old, my childhood dog, i cried so much, but when it came to putting him down i felt relief, and i hate myself for feeling relief, i should be feeling pain, immense pain, but i only felt relief and yearning, yearning for my boy, for his little routine we made together, i used to get pissed off whenever he hid food around the apartment, when he used to whine for me to get him up on the couch and bed, i miss hearing his little click clacking on the wooden floor, i miss bathing him and everything small i found annoying but now want back.

I personally came to the decision to put him down, since they said its irreversible and nothing could be done, it was like my first instinct. But my mom made it sound like i was "playing god" with my dog's life, that i wasnt the one to decide when his life ends, i told her that I didnt decide when his life was ending, the illness did, and I only wanted to end his days because it was the merciful thing to do. He started smelling like rot, his breath was awful, he didnt have an appetite, he puked everytime he had some water, he lost an enormous amount of weight for his size because hes a small dog. All of this just made me angry, in the end we did come to an agreement and my mom did drive him to be put down, but the first time we went the vets began shoving their vitamins and supplements - this was a blatant way to make us feel guilty and as if we are giving up on him or something - how will he EAT supplements if he REFUSES TO and PUKES EVERY TIME. I had a fever while this whole thing was happening too, I just felt like ass all around. It couldn't have gotten worse.

Once we found people who actually wanted to help, my mom drove him to be put down, and I feel guilty for not being there because my fever was so high i couldnt go, but this couldnt wait until i got better, who knew when i wouldve gotten better? I told my mom to not make him feel alone, to give him a hug, to pet him, because i was the main caretaker for most of his life, he already knew i loved him...and that he loved me. I havent cried much, but i miss him and love him

I hope hes resting well

It was around christmas 2025, we found out he had advanced kidney failure and that nothing could be done for it, but we tried with the therapy they suggested just in case he could be helped, and i wanted to know that in the end of the day, i did everything I could to help him, I was feeling crushed, the pain was immense, what hurt the most was watching his life leave him and yet still want to be next to me. He was 9 years old, my childhood dog, i cried so much, but when it came to putting him down i felt relief, and i hate myself for feeling relief, i should be feeling pain, immense pain, but i only felt relief and yearning, yearning for my boy, for his little routine we made together, i used to get pissed off whenever he hid food around the apartment, when he used to whine for me to get him up on the couch and bed, i miss hearing his little click clacking on the wooden floor, i miss bathing him and everything small i found annoying but now want back.

I personally came to the decision to put him down, since they said its irreversible and nothing could be done, it was like my first instinct. But my mom made it sound like i was "playing god" with my dog's life, that i wasnt the one to decide when his life ends, i told her that I didnt decide when his life was ending, the illness did, and I only wanted to end his days because it was the merciful thing to do. He started smelling like rot, his breath was awful, he didnt have an appetite, he puked everytime he had some water, he lost an enormous amount of weight for his size because hes a small dog. All of this just made me angry, in the end we did come to an agreement and my mom did drive him to be put down, but the first time we went the vets began shoving their vitamins and supplements - this was a blatant way to make us feel guilty and as if we are giving up on him or something - how will he EAT supplements if he REFUSES TO and PUKES EVERY TIME. I had a fever while this whole thing was happening too, I just felt like ass all around. It couldn't have gotten worse.

Once we found people who actually wanted to help, my mom drove him to be put down, and I feel guilty for not being there because my fever was so high i couldnt go, but this couldnt wait until i got better, who knew when i wouldve gotten better? I told my mom to not make him feel alone, to give him a hug, to pet him, because i was the main caretaker for most of his life, he already knew i loved him...and that he loved me. I havent cried much, but i miss him and love him

I hope hes resting well