u/Choice-Amphibian9505

I am 21f. I'm really really done with my family. I'm very disappointed. When I was very young 13 yrs old I found out that my father was cheating on my mother. I cried that day alot and I didn't know what to do. I saw his WhatsApp chats ( more like sexting) with my school mate's mother. I was very broken and confronted my mother but she never believed me and thought this all was not a very big deal and all. This has been for years like I was in 6th and passed 12th. And then one day my mother saw my father with our house maid. At that time she was completely broken and started yk raising ques and fighting alot of drama happened. Her blood pressure and diabetes were quite high at that period, she was not able to sleep, and she continuously kept talking about that all literally everytime. Even when she is alone or with someone. She didn't share this to any other than our family. When I saw my mother in this state I felt very pity and started hating my father which was obvious. He was very inconsistent with us throughout our lives. And when that all happened rather than maintaining distance from she started trying to get close to him. And my father is abusing and treating her like an animal. I hated this all so much and tried my best to realise her worth and yk maintain distance. She can't leave him or get divorce because she don't have any financial back up and we were quite young. I'm an elder sister here. I have younger brother and sister. Somehow things got back to normal as time passed. So now a few days back I randomly went to his shop without telling him. And I saw that a lady and him on the first floor of our shop which is used as a godown. I was very furious I started shouting and whatever I could do at that moment. Whatever happened at that just made me hate him more. And I told my mother everything at that very moment. I begged her to maintain distance with him because he has been multiple females and I am so done with this all. But after that day she is back to normal with him. And doing everything for him. Making him lemonade so that he'll have it when he comes from the shop in the evening. And yk this morning I saw their bedroom was locked ( they keep it locked in one case only). And I felt so betrayed of course I don't know what's going on between them but I am so so done with this all. This is all affecting my studies, my mind, my sleep and everything. I don't know what to do in this situation. I can't share this all with anyone around. I share with my siblings but they are young and dumb 😭 they feel hurt but idk yaar I don't feel okay after sharing with them. What should I do now :(

Today is my last exam of graduation and my center was quite my place and after the exam I went to my father's shop. Guess what I saw there. We have a shop with two floors. First floor is used as a godown and has a lot of boxes. And on the ground floor we have a shop. I went to his without informing him. When I reached the shop he was not there. I thought he went upstairs to the washroom. So I waited down there and the customer came at that time asking for something I had no idea about. So I called him and his phone rang up the stairs and he came downstairs while closing his shirt button. And when he saw me his face went pale and said why are you here what you want and things like that. He said I should go and take my brother to the shop and have momos ( he hates junk food). So the sudden polite and sweet behaviour of his made me suspicious. And I was going upstairs to the washroom he tried to stop with some excuses and all. But anyways I went there and saw a woman ( in her 30s ) sitting on a carpet ( I didn't see carpet before there before) . I was very furious and started asking her questions and my father came upstairs and started defending her. She was making up excuses that she fell and there she was resting and all. But this situation made me more angry and started shouting. But he made her run away. I tried to record her but he snatched my phone. So I snatched his phone and called my mother and she came to the shop and I told her everything she started shouting. This was not the first time we caught him doing this all. I'm done with my father and I want my mother to get detached from him as well as she got so tensed and got her blood pressure and diabetes high due to these overthinking. And I don't know what to do now. My grandparents never believe this all even if they see him by themselves. They will ignore it. I'm so done with him. I'm very fed up. I want my mother and my siblings to live a good life. I'm the oldest sibling here and I don't know what to do. We don't have any financial back up so that we can't move out. I hate my father so so much.

I am currently struggling with quants a lot. It feels like I will never be able to finish my quants syllabus and stay stuck in arithmetic forever. I was doing quants by takshzila course ( which I find very useful and helpful for me). But it's very lengthy and even I am stuck on very basic questions of those in very basic chapters like averages, profit and loss. I have completed just 3-4 chapters yet. I feel very unconfident and annoyed by this subject. I am scoring very very low marks in the takshzila test as they are literally giving me warnings 😭😭😭😭 and I have no idea how to improve what to do and now how to move forward to complete syllabus. Few chapters are left in arithmetic like si &ci, just started averages, time distance speed, mixtures & solutions. And I also have scored very poor marks in profit and loss so I barely have confidence in that. I don't know what to do now. Please help me or guide me for this. I feel very demotivated and stressed with this as I'm not able to sleep now.