u/Choice_Response_7169

My boyfriend (46 moid) and I (41 foid) have been in a relationship for 4 years and we've been living together for 3 years. It might not seem long enough, but we are madly in love and we get along great, so I'm pretty sure that he's the man of my dreams and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He has the same attitude towards me. At least it's what he says.

He has a kid from his previous relationship. It's his ex who has full custody and we only have the kid every other weekend. My boyfriend is a devoted father and is contesting the custody arrangement in court. Unfortunately we don't live in Aitaland, so divorces and custody battles can last for years. Maybe one day we will have the kid for shared custody, maybe we will have the full one, maybe we will have nothing, so our future is absolutely unclear.

Speaking of the future... I think our planet is doomed. I don't see any hope for humans here, so a few years ago I made a pact with aliens. I sent a telepathic message to the universe saying that in case of a conflict I'll take their side and will be as helpful as I can. For my loyalty and service I asked them to take me with them. It's my only hope remaining on this planet.

My boyfriend doesn't even believe in aliens! He's always laughing at me because I want to believe. He thinks I'm naive if not full blown crazy. I can say it hurts, but I love him, so I let it slide, especially when I'm also convinced that he's just being dumb to ignore all the proofs of alien presence that we already have. Like what next? The flat earth?!

Normally we avoid the subject for the sake of peace, but once I've told him about my pact and this when thing went south. He was visibly upset with me and said he can't understand how I can dump him for some fucking aliens. I told him I'm not dumping him, and if he wants to go with me, I can put in a good word to aliens, like he's cool and ask them to take him too. He said that anyway he won't be able to go, because he has a kid on this planet. I responded that knowing how things on this planet are, the best for the kid will be to come with us. Frankly! Fuck the Earth! It's a fucking shithole. It's not safe for kids at all! Fuck it, I may even ask aliens to take his ex too, even if I hate this bitch, but hey, the kid needs his mother.

He wouldn't listen. And now he's mad at me and my phone is blowing up with all those memes about conspiracy theories and lunatics like me. It's irritating, but I could deal with it if he was on my side. But he's saying now that I'm a traitor and dumping him for aliens.

What do you think, reddit, am I?

In this post I'm mocking those posts about hypothetical cheating like hall pass or I don't know what else where couples are in trouble because of smth that will never happen anyway

I'm a 24y.o female living in flat in apartment. 2 weeks ago new neighbours moved into the flat above mine

Few things worth mentioning before i get to the point.I live in Ukraine, and yall know we at the war. Air-raid alerts and explosions happen every day in city where i live.

Usually i fall asleep with something playing in the background, on my phone or TV and i know not everyone wants to hear someone YT at 2 am so I keep the volume around 30–35% and noone ever said it bothered them or made them uncomfortable in any way.

I have PTSD and struggle to sleep in silence and trying to do so made me extremely anxious and i had several panic attacks, so background noise helps me feel safe enough to rest. Sleeping in headphones isn't really an option as it's uncomfortable for me as hell. I also work 24-hour shifts at a local hotel. Although I can sometimes sleep during night, I have to check on guests and take them to the shelter when necessary, so I usually get around 3-4h of sleep max, so after shift I'm exhausted.

About 2 weeks ago, a man knocked on my door at 1 a.m. He said he's new upstairs neighbour and demanded that I turn off my TV because his child was sleeping. Half-asleep and not wanting to argue, I switched TV off but turned my phone on.

The next day, after I’d gone to work and returned the next day around 10am same man rang again with the same stuff to complain. I explained that I even wasn't home that night and turned everything off before going out so wasn't sure what he wanted from me. He decided that my neighbour across was the one so he focused on him instead .

A few days later, on the night before another shift, I was trying to get as much rest as possible when he knocked again at 2 am. I’d barely opened the door before he berated me: “Tonight is the only night that’s been quiet, without attacks or air alerts. Can’t you have some common sense and turn the TV off so my kid can sleep?”

I answered kinda sharply but i was mad at him already so I asked whether I was supposed to wait for an air-raid alert or something worse to be allowed watch TV, and pointed that if his child could sleep through attacks but not to quieter noises then he should look for other place to live. Other neighbours have young children as well and have never complained about me once in all time i lived there. I told him his child’s sleep isn't my concern and not my responsibility so i don't care if his kid sleeps or no then closed the door.

Yesterday while I was at work my landlord messaged me saying that TV has to be turned off by 9 pm. Apparently, man had found her contact, caller her and complained that i was being loud and ruining his child’s sleep.

So today, as I'm now going back home, i was thinking to pay that man a visit and say few probably not so nice words about how what he's done is not fair to me, and getting my landlord involved - is too much and he should care about his kid and not my TV been on.

AITA?

The short version is I am 42(f) and basically have ruined my life, feel completely directionless, and hate the person I have become.

In 2022, life was grand. I was making $150k as an engineer and finally successful. Then I got hit by a car and the driver had no insurance and fled to Canada. I was living in a major city and did not own a car, so I also had no car insurance. I had just started a new job and my health insurance didn't kick in for another 13 days. I ended up with about $300k in medical bills, had to move back in with my parents, and was functionally disabled for about 2 years. I still have intense pain in my legs and arms but am no longer wheelchair-bound.

For about 2 months after the accident, it was unclear whether I was going to make it due to internal injuries. This was during COVID era, so restrictions were still in place, but basically 90% of my friends dropped me like a hot potato. For example, I texted my best friend from age 11 deliriously in the ambulance, and it took her a week to respond because she was in "a rough patch with her husband." Another, that i had given thousands to to help over rent etc when she lost her job due to COVID, literally never talked to me post-accident.

About 2 years ago, I decided to change careers and open a bookshop/plant store in my hometown. Looking backwards, this was a disaster waiting to happen. I opened it with my boyfriend and also my dad (who had just retired) as co-owners. 6 weeks before we even opened, I caught my boyfriend on the security camera having sex with one of our vendors. I had to remove my dad last summer because he punched me in the face when he disagreed with how I arranged the sale table.

Which brings me to my complicated relationship with my parents. Growing up was emotionally neglectful and volatile (things thrown at me etc) but never physical. I had successfully "escaped" when I had my engineering job, but it feels like everything reset once I had to move back in during recovery. Its a super unhealthy, codependent relationship. My mom has insane anxiety, even worse after the accident. If she cannot physically see me, she will monitor me via security cameras or call upwards for 40 times a day. If I dont answer, she sends the cops to do a wellness check.

The bookshop was my dream and nightmare. My county is wildly conservative, although I didnt realize how bad until I opened the shop. I had death threats over stocking banned books and someone smashed in my front window for supporting our pride parade. I even had someone slash my patio screens. I decided to sell when I was attacked (choked out) by a tweaker when opening the shop this past May.

I dumped the last of my cash into the bookshop and recently sold it for a break-even amount, which covered any outstanding loan and thats about it. I have literally $50 in my bank account, and my parents are helping me pay my October mortgage until I get a new job. Due to brain damage from the accident, it will be very challenging to go back to an engineering position.

I recently visited my best friend and it became very clear during the trip that she is really resentful towards me, if not outright hateful. But in a weird way. We went on our first trip together since the accident, and she invited another of her friends without telling me. They did all these coupley things like wearing matching clothes and buying matching bracelets "as a coincidence", but the vibes were so off. For example, they are both size 0. Pre-accident, I was a size 2. I am now (happily) a size 1X. I broke 39 bones. I had major organ damage and had to relearn how to breathe. Daily life is painful, but i wake up grateful that I am alive and survived. I dont care that I am now fat due to lack of mobility and the 20 medicines I have to take to compensate for organ damage. I also had to have part of my stomach removed, so I cannot eat that much per meal. This resulted in the weirdest trip where they both kept making jabs about being lazy and fat, while also being super cutting about having an ED since I could only eat small portions.

When I got back home, I think my (former) best friend realized the trip was a disaster bc she invited me for another visit next month with just her. I dont want another visit. This was my one visit I had the time, energy, and money for. It was also my first trip post-accident, so I was so excited so it really hurt my feelings.

I was home for about 3 days when my closest friend down here was arrested for CP. Horrified. Had no clue as he never made any inclining that he was like that.

So, basically, I am scared of people and don't want to leave the house. I feel stuck in a victim mentality, which i know but also cant seem to escape. I have no interest in anything, not even watching movies or listening to music. I feel stuck in this pathetic state of "woe-is-me", feeling like the whole world is on fire anyway, and feeling like being alive with the amount of pain I experience daily just physically living in my body is not worth it (not that I am actively suicidal).

I hate the person that I am and I don't think I have it in me to change myself in the current environment. I cant make my dad not abuse me. I cant make my mom control her anxiety. I cant make my so-called friends care about me or not be felons. I dont see how I can financially get out from under my medical debt. I dont see how I can work on my mental health when I have no resources. I just feel like a loser. Like a deeply unlovable loser and I dont know what to do, but I can't keep living this way. I dont even know where to start to fix things.

I am not the OOP, OOP is u/leamornor

Originally posted to r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk

Original post posted 2019-02-08

A large part of my job is answering phones and dealing with people who want to hire our large function room. In our town our room is one of very few places available to hold wedding receptions, birthday parties etc.

The process for hiring the room is quite simple. People ring up all the time and ask if the date they want is free. If it is we place a hold on the date for 14 days. If we don’t hear back from them it opens up to anyone else that wants it. If they do decide they want it they have to come in for an appointment with either me or my boss. We go through the booking form and help them fill it in and explain the t&cs with them. They then pay their deposit and the function gets written in the diary. We don’t take deposits without a booking form and we don’t take booking forms without a deposit. You have to physically come in and hand both over. None of this can be done online, we don’t have a website.

Fast forward to this morning when bridezilla walks in with her mother.

• Bridezilla = B
• Mother of the Bride = MOB
• Me = Me.

Me : hi can I help?

B : I’m here to pay the deposit for my wedding.

Me : ok. Let me get you a form and we’ll go through it. What date did you book?

B: Tomorrow

The smile on my face dropped. We have a birthday party booked in tomorrow. There is no way she can have her wedding here tomorrow.

Me: Tomorrow isn’t available. We already have a booking.

MOB: You double booked? You’ll have to cancel the other booking.

Me: We haven’t double booked. If you haven’t filled a form in or paid a deposit then you haven’t booked the room. When did you ask about the date?

MOB : last July. I remember because we came in before we went for my birthday lunch.

Me: we only hold the date for two weeks. Someone will have told you that at the time.

B: yeah but it’s a wedding.

Me: the same rules apply. If you don’t fill in a form and pay the deposit within the two weeks we open it up to everyone else. Unfortunately someone else has booked the room.

B: I did it all online

Me: You did what online?

B: Paid for the room

Me: then why are you here today trying to pay for it now?

B: uh....

Me: we don’t have a website so you can’t do anything online.

MOB: she can’t have the wedding here.

Me: nope sorry.

They left. There was no shouting no anger at me. Nothing. She just casually shrugged her shoulders and walked away. I’m fully expecting the wedding party to turn up tomorrow all kitted out.

Edit to add : my boss saw her throwing a huge tantrum in the road outside of our building.

TL:DR woman turns up to pay for her wedding the day before it’s due to take place. She failed to secure the date and we booked something else in.

that_darn_cat

>Im sure the marriage will be a roaring success with that level of planning

OOP

>If I remember correctly they’ve been together a good 15 years. Engaged for at least 10. He’d told her if she wanted a wedding she had to plan the whole thing. He wanted zero involvement. He just wanted to turn up to the church and then get drunk with his mates afterwards.

Dogzillas_Mom

>Is it possible she mixed up venues and put down a deposit somewhere else?

OOP

>There’s nowhere in town where she’d be able to have it, so unless she’s booked a venue in a different town with a similar name, she’s just an idiot.

[deleted]

>From how you put it down, the bride didn't seem like a bridezilla, just a misinformed bride who didn't have all the things set up. I hope she can find a venue in time

OOP

>It’s the tantrum she threw outside that makes me think she’s a bridezilla. That and assuming you can walk in to a venue the day before your wedding and assume everything is sorted for you.

 

Update posted 2019-02-14

I was at work by myself for most of the afternoon after Bridezilla had left. My coworker came in to take over from me and for about 10 mins I fill her in on everything that’s happened that day including Bridezilla. Coworker makes a comment about how she’s glad she has nothing to do with booking the room and that if she did she’d be getting the blame for the whole thing.

I go into the back room to switch my shoes and get my things together before I leave. I happen to glance at the cctv monitor and notice that Bridezilla is walking along the corridor. She walks up to my coworker and I listen in.

• Bridezilla = B
• Co-worker = C

B: hi I’m wondering if you can help me. I’m attending a party tomorrow night and need to make some arrangements with my friend who’s party it is but I’ve lost her phone number. I was wondering if you’d be able to find it for me.

C= Sorry I cant do that.

B= it’s ok were best friends. She really wouldn’t mind.

C= I don’t have access to the information. I couldn’t give it to you even if you wanted it. They’re coming in to decorate the room later on. You could come back then.

B= there must be someone who can give me the number

My coworker comes to get me from the back room and asks me if I heard her. Wtf would she want their number. I come out.

Me: yeah, we can’t give out that info.

B: I don’t see the big deal

Me: do you need it to tell her you cant attend because you’ll be at your wedding that she mustn’t be invited to? I can pass that message on for you.

She shrugged and walked out. I can only imagine she was going to phone them and ask them to cancel their party so she could have the room.

The next day I’m at work pretty much all day. I have a word with the people having the party and let them know that if anyone turns up that they haven’t invited to let me know.

We have a couple people turn up looking for a wedding. We tell them about the mix up and they don’t seem surprised. A lady who said she was the grooms mother said she had only been told three days before about the wedding and that they’d invited a bunch of people to a reception but nobody knew when or where the actual wedding ceremony was. She’d spoken to her son that morning and he said he’d text the details but then apparently forgot.

It’s the most casual I’ve seen people be about organising a wedding.

I (28f) have been married to my husband (56m) Zews for 3 years. I'm his 6th wife and he also had a lot of mistresses. He has 38 children in total, but only 12 of them are underage. My husband is a honest man, so of course he pays all of the child support needed, plus college money,  plus cars, you name it... He's very wealthy and influential, but even with his wealth he needs to work extremely hard to support everyone. This situation makes I rarely see him at home. I don't have to work and my days can be interminable long. I have fun as I can, I'm seeing a lot of people and I'm partying hard. Last year I got pregnant and Zews was very supportive of me. 3 months ago I gave birth to a wonderful little boy. Zews was overwhelmed with joy and if before he treated me like a queen after the birth of the kid he started to treat me like a goddess and he treats the child like his son. I was happy with this attitude but I however suggested a paternity test and this when the problems started. Zews immediately got upset with me, basically how dare I even suppose that the child might be not his. I calmly explained that given the number of men I've had sex with it might be everyone's child. He didn't took it well. He pointed out that the kid looks "exactly like him". Well, yeah, I mean it's a newborn, he looks barely like a human, he has a nose and two eyes and a mouth exactly like my husband, that's a sure thing. I said to Zews that he wasn't the only white guy in the neighborhood but he wouldn't listen. He argued that he already impregnated a whole shit ton of women while me I've never been pregnant before I became his wife. I said sure, but I only stopped my birth control when I get married, like I'm not stupid, ffs! He's got really offended and said that if I don’t trust his male energy and don't believe in his capacity to get his own wife pregnant better than any other loser he wants nothing to do with me. I said I see where he's coming from and I do trust him and I'm sure he's the most masculine man in the whole world but we could do the test just in case. He grew red and stormed out of the room. Now it has been four days I haven't heard from him and he doesn't respond to my calls or texts. I'm not sure that I handled the situation right and would like to have an advice on how to navigate this

​

Ok, I know it sounds bad but hear me out. My wife (28F) and I (40M) have been together for 8 years, married for 6, and we have four children (5M, 3M, 1F and 1F). When we first met she was hot as hell, hence my decision to pursue her, but quickly she started to gain weight and now she's 170lbs for 5,5", she's letting herself go, no more cute dresses, no makeup, obviously I'm not attracted to her anymore, but attracted or not, I do need sex and she won't give it to me, there's always an excuse, usually it's something kids related.

As a rich (I make 6 figures) and very handsome man who hits the gym every day I have no problem to find my needs met elsewhere so I would let it go unless my wife blatant stupidity, not only she is absolutely useless as a wife, she is also dumb as fuck. In the beginning of the relationship I was ok with this because she was smoking hot and also because I hoped she will grow up and gain some maturity but it never happened. The only things she cares about are kids and some stupid charity. We have nothing to talk about. She has zero knowledge about geopolitics and when I can spend hours arguing about it on the internet she had never ever supported me. Instead she goes to church for some charity events. Mind it she is an atheist. I tried to explain her how ridiculous it is but she says it has nothing to do with religion and she only goes there to help people. Yeah, church has nothing to do with religion, right. Fucking Einstein she is!

She's the queen of moronic financial decisions. Recently she purchased a life insurance policy for me and when I reminded her that we already have one she said that she forgot. And the next week she took an other one. How can you forget such a thing? Twice!! The other day she bought 20 gallons of antifreeze. I asked why and she told me that the price was very good so she decided to make a stock but I checked the price and it was the same as usual. How can you be that stupid?!

She insists that making my meals is her job as a wife and it's OK, but when my mother visited my wife didn't let her to participate. Like is she jealous of my own mother? She also insists I as a husband should have my separate meals which is... well... stupid, like everything she says and does.

Once she was cleaning one of my guns and loaded wrong bullets in it. Thanks God I noticed before I used it. The thing could fucking kill me!! Yes, I know, women aren't very good at firearms but mine is an ex military. Ok, army people are not known for being too smart but this one is a special kind of stupid. I'm sick and tired of her shit. Now I have some health issues, something isn't right about my stomach but when I feel better I think I'm going to divorce. I know that divorce is bad but maybe in my case it's justified?

my gf found my notes app last night and now she's acting weird and i dont know if im the asshole or she's overreacting

so context, we've been together like 2.5 years, living together for one. she knows i lift, she knows i experimented with performance-enhancing stuff last year, and she was actually supportive about it. we talked about it before i did it. no secrets there.

what she found was a note where i basically ranked her body against like a "goal" version. not other women, just her. like "waist is good, glutes need work, upper body could tighten up" type stuff. it was written when i was planning to suggest we start training together more seriously. i never showed it to her, it was just me thinking on paper before bringing it up in a normal way.

she read the whole thing and now she's barely talking to me. said it made her feel like a project. said if i thought about her that clinically i probably dont actually find her attractive. which is frustrating because i'm literally obsessed with her, that's WHY i want us to be our best together.

but here's where i keep going back and forth. i had two tabs open on my laptop when she walked over. one was me researching fitness-related stuff, the other was that note. so she basically caught me looking into things for myself AND critiquing her body in the same five minute window. i can see how that looks. i really can.

at the same time i'm like, is it actually wrong to want your partner to look their best when you hold yourself to the same standard? i track my own body way harder than i track hers. i have progress pictures going back years. i pay attention to my food. If anything, i'm easier on her than i am on myself.

a friend told me i should just apologize and delete the note and move on. but part of me feels like apologizing means admitting i did something wrong, and i genuinely dont think i did. Thinking something privately isn't the same as saying it to her face.

am i missing something obvious here or is she reading way too much into a private note that was never meant for her eyes

I (28f) was working as a business manager at a very big international business factory and there were these two bitches, both in their late 40s, who seemed to have made it their life’s mission to make me feel unwelcome.

For the context, I'm tall, with a very beautiful long blonde hair and blue eyes, I'm gorgeous and I take pride in my appearance. They, on the other hand, are ugly: dark skin, black hair and one of them is even fat. I know that nowadays almost everyone agrees that Hitler was a bad guy, but at least he set the objective beauty standards and it's not my fault I have huge perky boobs, I was born like that! And I know they’re just jealous.

They constantly spoke in a foreign language erupting into fits of cackling laughter. They were playing it smart, never looking directly at me while talking, so I had no proof that they were discussing me, but, hey, let's think a bit, an ugly woman in her 40s, she clearly has nothing interesting going on in her life, so what were they laughing at if not me? Right?

I tried to handle it professionally. I first approached a British coworker, I mean, he is white and British, he must have understood my issue, but he didn't. I was saying that everyone should speak English in the office and he made a silly face and asked "because we are in England?", so I snapped and said that actually, yes, we are in England. The new one. Because obviously the old one wasn't good enough to preserve our culture. He said "you must be kidding", but he wasn't laughing, and I wasn't kidding! He just walked away and I guess I learned the hard way that famous British humor isn't really a thing.

I was frustrated but not hopeless, I went straight to HR to report the overwhelming hostility in the office. And you know what that old fat prick told me?? She said it was my "last chance" to "quit my bullshit immediately" and that I'm not fired yet only because everyone loves and respects my uncle (he's the vice-president of the business). At that point I was fucking mad and decided to take matters into my own hands.

That evening, I went to a local grocery store owned by a man with a thick, dark beard. I said, I needed him to teach me a specific phrase in Hindi. I wanted to say: 'Stop talking shit about me, you bitches.'

The owner gave me an odd look and suddenly started rambling about turkeys. He was saying something like he was "Kurt form turkey" or whatever nonsense that I have no idea what it was even supposed to mean?? It was so annoying! I told him that "I don’t care about poultry. It’s not even Thanksgiving", like maybe you should learn a bit more about the local culture before you start obsessing over turkeys in May?? Like, will you help me or not??

He laughed and said "Fine. Come back tomorrow. I will have someone here who can help you"

The next day, I returned. The first man was there with a second guy, also dark-skinned with a prominent beard. He spent twenty minutes coaching me on the phonetics, I repeated until it felt confident enough.

The following week, the factory hosted an international "Town Hall" event. All the executives were there, and the entire floor was gathered for a presentation. As we were waiting for the CEO to take the stage, the two women were at it again. They stood three feet away from me, whispering in Hindi, glancing at my dress, and snickering.

This was it.

I stepped into the center of the circle, took a deep breath, and shouted the phrase they taught me, loudly, clearly, and with total confidence, directly at their faces. I said it three times for maximum impact.

The room went dead silent for a heartbeat and then a guy started laughing hysterically, I never paid much attention to him, but I think he works in the IT department, he isn't handsome at all and he wears glasses. He was laughing and the two bitches were like "what's going on?". He laughed so hard that he struggled to speak but he finally managed to say "she is saying in Hindi 'I'm a dumb racist scum'." Then everyone started laughing and the fat bitch went "Yeah, we've noticed, but why in Hindi?" and a black guy (not even remotely good looking) said "Hindi, Hispanic, who cares?" and all of them laughed even harder. The irony!! It was the exact same thing that I said at the recent meeting about our products localization but when it was me talking, nobody was laughing and the HR even told me to be very careful with my words. Like wtf??

They fired me on the spot and my uncle refuses to help me, he's mad at me for "ruining his reputation" and all my family is blowing up my phone. It's just crazy, I don't get how any of it is my fault?? Please, tell me, AITA?