u/ChungusChungle

To anyone who genuinely believes what they have with their domme or sub is real, move along. This post is not for you. To anyone who doesn't want to continue buying into this delusion, keep on reading:

There are lots of posts where especially subs romanticize their relationship they have to their domme. You see posts about where they "form a bond" and "create a real connection". And you have dommes commenting that they feel the same with their subs.

But the basis is transactional. It's what findom is about. The sub sends, the domme gives attention (or not depending on the sub's preferences). Everything that feels real, from daily chit chatter to deep talks, every converstation outside of kink, is still within the restriction of one party sending money to the other.

Cause leave money out of the equation and what are you left with? I can't speak for dommes obviously, but would a domme continue their relationship to their sub when they stop sending for good? Would they stay friends? Would the vanilla conversations continue? If not, there never was a genuine connection. A relationship based on financial transaction is never genuine. A genuine bond is defined by the fact that it's holding itself up based on mutuality.

So I'd argue that in most cases that the relationship will vanish once the sub stops sending. Of course, there may be exceptions but they're not the norm. And yet, you'll see most people here arguing that what they have is real.

Why? It's a cope. On both ends.

For the sub: To many subs who long for a genuine bond with their domme it's an outlet to fill something that is missing. The fact of being lonely or the feeling of not being seen. There are many types of gaps a sub may try to fill. So if they face the harsh reality behind the transactional nature of findom, it feels shitty. So many delude themselves into believing that what they have is a real connection. It's a way to avoid the truth that at the end of the day, their domme in most cases wouldn't care about them once they stopped sending.

For the domme: It's in their self interest to create a dynamic in a way that feels genuine. This sounds malicious but it exists. In other cases it's for similar reasons a sub has. It's about avoiding the truth. Knowing what you do is essentially SW feels worse than telling yourself that you're having a real connection. So they also delude themselves into thinking what they have is real cause it feels less shitty.

But ask yourself this: What happens when the money stops flowing? Does your domme stay with you? Do you stay with your sub? If the answer is no, the connection was never real to begin with. Telling otherwise is a cope.

Stitch incoming: A self proclaimed "domme" who does nothing but ask for money with the interactions being "send", "double it", "good boy" or any of this sort is the equivalent of selling burgers and fries at a McDonald's. Online findom in most cases is the most low effort and low quality type of femdom that exists. It's quick and abundant, just like fast food.

The restaurant analogy goes even further: An actual domme, one that does sessions in real life, is professionally trained, maybe even has a dungeon, is the equivalent to a michelin star restaurant. And their services are priced as such, just like a good restaurant is.

So, to any sub crying about how they got barely anything in return from their domme, maybe you have to take a look at yourself. Do you expect much when entering a fast food chain? Of course not. Same goes for online findom. Seek a professional that knows what they're doing.

And to any dommes crying about boring, low effort, stingy subs. Does that come to you as a surprise? Have you seen what kind of people eat at McDonald's? Of course it's going to be like that. You're offering fast food. So your clients won't be the ones who go to a michelin star restaurant.

Just stay away from this subreddit. It used to be an interesting place for exchange about the findom kink. But it's a fucking cult.

It's ridden with parasites. "Dommes" offering shitty advice they weren't asked for. Normalization or even romantization of unhealthy behavior from both subs and dommes. It's disgusting. There has been a poll lately asking what you are, domme or sub. The results showed that about 60% are dommes. That says it all.

And also: If there is a post being critical on findom there's always an excuse. The domme is always in the right. The sub is always wrong. It's always the sub who should've been more careful and so on. "Dommes get scammed too" and it's just them not getting 50 bucks for investing two minutes of their time. Yeah, fuck this.

So to anyone who wants to quit, stay on this sub instead even if it isn't nearly as active. At least you get in touch with fellow people who want to quit and have a realistic outlook on this scene.

So I've been scrolling findom twt and recently saw a lot of posts from "dommes" getting annoyed when being asked for verification. Captions like "Imagine asking for verification in the big 2026" and so on. The comments under these posts seem to support this mindset.

And here I am asking myself: Has sending verification become the exception? Cause to me it seems like the most sensible thing to do, on both ends that is.

I don't know, seems like scammers are getting upset that people don't want to blindly send away their money.

Maybe a bit of a hottake but hear me out: Stadium maps are easier to learn when you don't know the maps they're based on. Now one could obviously argue that if you know the maps they're based on that you have the advantage.

But here's the thing: The little changes they put into the familiar parts are what throw me off so much. Where there's usually a window, there's suddenly a door. Where you'd think leads outside, you actually go into a hallway or a room. A hatch may be removed or placed a little differently. A soft wall is suddenly a hard wall and vice versa. The list goes on.

Whereas if you were to learn the stadium maps from scratch without prior knowledge on which maps they're based on I'd argue it's actually easier to learn them.

Maybe I am going a bit far with this take but these are the issues I have with the stadium maps.

Some argue this map is a maze and therefore a shit map. Others say it's actually a good map once you get to know it. And here's the problem: The issue isn't necessarily the layout or complexity. It's learning the map in the first place which is very hard for visual reasons I believe.

The hallways and rooms on each floor look very similar. So it's hard to learn this map intuitively. Each room on 2nd floor is just brown and wooden. And most rooms on 1st and bottom floor are just grey.

And then there's the general interior design and visual concept of the map that is hard to grasp. The rooms are filled with technical stuff and some futuristic military gear and what not. The purpose of the rooms is not as recognizable like it is on other maps.

Take a look at bank for instance: It's also a big map but the rooms are not only distinct in color but also in function: You have offices, a cafeteria, a janitor room, a vault, a server area and so on. It's much easier to learn where rooms are when you can instantly understand their real life purpose they represent.

But on Lair I can't really remember what real life purpose the rooms serve.

So the map in itself is not the problem but it's just unnecessarily hard to learn for the reasons mentioned above.

So as the title says I have a friend that I play with who almost exlusively plays ironsights and I try to tell him that he's making his game harder for himself than it already is since he's stuck in Silver. He didn't always play ironsights though and for some reason he switched. I can't convince him to go back to playing actual sights.

When asking him why he prefers ironsights he just says that he likes them. That's it. It's not about the ads time or anything. But objectively speaking, he's putting himself at a massive disadvantage. I'm not crazy for thinking that, right?

I know there are some exceptions such as the MP7, ARX or shotguns. But when I see him play Kapkan's 9x19 or Brava's Para I'm just grinding my teeth.

So guys, what can I do to convince him to stop playing ironsights?