r/QuittingFindom

HOW I COMPLETELY RECOVERED - Only for the people who are truly trying to quit - If your content this isn't for you .

I don't expect you all too read this , It's for a specific type of person , Even If it helps a one person who needed some motivation, It's Rewarding . STAY HARD

You say it's the last time , But it's not . Because your mind Goes into auto pilot right ? It begins too feel like a black hole , You submerge deeper . You have , friends , Families , Siblings . People who genuinely care about you , But they have no idea what Your actively dealing with . it's absolutely the last thing they would ever Imagine , It's so absurd that It doesn't even make sense what your doing .

But you keep following the trail deeper and deeper All driven by your impulse , Do it now quickly think about it after . Every single time you say it's the last time , before you realise a day has passed and Your in the middle of it again . It gets too the point where normal Things don't turn you on . You restrict yourself from being with normal people , Because You genuinely feel like Your crazy . You know your too dysfunctional to have a Normal relationship . You can't get into a relationship with someone in fear Of the side of you that you hide from the world, You actually feel scared that eventually when you get comfortable Your mask will slip And they will know . It's a constant act . You know your mind is polluted with a disease people can't understand .

But what hurts most is that You weren't always like this . Sometimes you ponder on the time you were 'Normal' , You miss those times right ? But the thing is , You are crazy now . Let's be honest , Does it get any crazier ? You literally Pay someone too tell you that your worthless . Im sorry for the reality check , You need it bro . But it gets better , Just read below .

I just want too put a few words out here straight from my heart , I hope you all have a read. Firstly I just want too make clear , Anyone In this Community , Anyone Under the hooks of this Devilish Addiction Has my sympathy . People don't understand Us . Used , Abused , Degraded , for what ? Because our own minds have gone against Us . It's more than Humiliation , It's betrayal Of our own minds . When your mind Doesn't have the best Intentions for you , We should for each other . There's something heartfelt about this , Because We all know Exactly what each another are dealing with . It's like Living with a curse , something which incapacitates Your social Life . When people talk about mental health , this is the pinnacle . We PAY Money for someone to tell us How Worthless we are . I just want too make 2 Points which helped me break free and never look back ever .

  1. Change your View on Doms . They are genuinely criminals . They are not intelligent , they are not cool , They are actually predators Preying on people who are down Bad . You are genuinely funding a Malicious predator . They Are Waiting at the bottom for a Weakened man To fall Into there grips . They are monsters , Im not exaggerating. When your asking to be degraded , Humiliated , pissed on or whatever it is you want , Do you believe your in The right state of mind ? Now , I want too Add something on to this . Next time your in this state of mind , I want you too think of a loved one . Whoever is most dear to you In the world , preferably someone younger . It could be a little brother , sister or someone your naturally protective over . Now Imagine, you found out your younger brother / sister were paying someone too literally abuse them . How would you view the person carrying out the act ? You would want too destroy them . Be angry , I want you too be . I want you too really shift your perspective on how you view these so called women . It will make you appreciate normal , Healthy , Kind , Gentle women . Some may say , "Oh but he asked for it , he enjoys it " . Does that Mean Crack dealers are also exempt from Morality ?

  2. If you really really want too break free , Monitor your mind . impulsive behaviour is your enemy . As long as your unconscious isn't conscious, You will never be free . The underlying issue of All of this Is Having a Peek , trust me . Discipline your mind. I don't mean that in a corny Monk Way , I mean Genuinely discipline yourself . The more You punish Yourself , The less You will want someone else to punish You . Become obsessed with dominating yourself . Look at yourself in the mirror and declare war . I would look at myself and say , " You want too be dominated right ? Well watch now . Just watch the shit im going to make you do . Im going to dominate you in a way No women ever could . You run when I tell you to run . You wake up when I tell you too wake up . You go to the gym when I fucking tell you to go the gym , Im going to show you real Domination". Be driven by anger , Your mind Betrayed You And Now it's time for you too show it who is in control . Genuinely Do What You tell yourself to do and Listen , The more you do this You will listen to What You tell yourself not to do . You can't tell Yourself Don't peek , It doesn't work like that . Until you have Pure control of your mind through Discipline , It just won't work . Your brain Knows Your are A liar and It's not scared of you, So it will Act on impulsive behaviour and walk all over you. But Believe me , Once it's scared and It knows who is in charge , Boy things get much easier .

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u/Able-Stop-7353 — 1 day ago

Low self esteem is hyper fuel for findom

I have found that working on my fitness and building confidence has been the best cure for my findom addiction. Feeling beta, weak, pathetic etc was the genesis for getting hooked on findom. It's an easy rabbit hole to go down and build bad habits for self abuse. I am convinced most guys addicted to findom are self abusing vs a real bdsm or D/s dynamic.

Losing body fat, building muscle, getting cardio fit have helped me tremendously. I think it is one of the best "cures" for findom addiction. Focus on becoming the man you want to be. Anything is possible.

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u/Lower-Estimate-264 — 2 days ago

Week 3

Entering my 3rd week of no sends, definitely scrolling too much on here but definitely more engaged and motivated at work again.

Did notice some withdrawal yesterday in the form of just feeling down for no real reason at all and was hard to shake off. I assume that’s my brain wanting the constant dopamine I used to give it.

On another note, I opened a new credit card at the start of this journey to get travel points after 3 months - looking forward to taking a vacation something I haven’t really been able to do comfortably the last couple of years due to findom.

Hope everyone has a good day, one day at a time. Always happy to connect!

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u/North_Director5804 — 2 days ago

Just relapsed. Not a huge send but I feel like crap.

I sent her her initial which was not much, like $30, knowing full well it would only lead to her wanting more, but I couldn’t stop myself.

We talked for a bit but before long the conversation led to discussion of monthly budget. Aaahhhhhh I wish I could erase this kink from existence.

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u/OccasionalHead7573 — 3 days ago

I amost relapsed

​

I struggle with anxiety, and today I was on the verge of a panic attack when I decided to reactivate my Twitter and look at porn to calm down. I saw a "domme" I’d always been interested in and messaged her asking for a roleplay. She replied quickly, but I was having trouble in sending the money. A little while later, she sent me a different account to send the payment, but at that moment, I used my head and didn't send it.

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u/Due-Earth-8735 — 2 days ago

What It's Really All About (For Me)

Quitting Findom is about taking back my time, and my life.

I've let myself go with regards to porn and findom. I got comfortable isolating myself and indulging in a vicious dopamine cycle. It was easy, repeatable pleasure.

But I have nothing to show for it! Not that everything you do in life needs to bear some kind of fruit, of course. But it's just been a massive time sink (money too).

I've mentioned before, but I want to feel wholesome again. I want to do the fun, little things in life I used to love doing that I had since replaced with Findom or gooning. I'm getting back to that person and it feels great.

Sitting by my window on a rainy day here. I'll go take a walk in it now. Stay strong lads, it eventually gets easier.

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u/Surviving_Findom — 3 days ago

Close to relapse

Haven’t relapsed but I feel it “coming on”. Still in rehab, lonely cause everyone got a visitor except me. Got triggered and reactivated my loyalfans account (it was 20 days shy of being deleted forever 🙄). Lurking, Desperately itching to send but I’m still holding on

Wish me luck tonight 🫪

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u/ThrowawayIncelBuyer — 4 days ago

Please tell me I'm okay

I just spent over 1.5k in the last 3 days. Last night I was drunk and sent my favorite domme 800. Now I have to survive for the next month on a couple hundred dollars thank God my rent and stuff is paid. I'm so scared people will find out about this. I'm so humiliated and shameful. It's hard. I need some reassurance if possible

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u/simpmanners — 4 days ago

Spent nearly over 1k on findom. How do I move on

Gay male 28 here. Tbh findom was as much about the endorphin rush but I’ve spent over 1k on findom using savings and credit cards. Now for the first time in my life I’m in a crap financial position hiding it from my partner. I’m scared he’ll break up with me. How can I move on and have a healthy relationship with people/sex again? Right now I see no hope

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u/Devoner98 — 4 days ago

Shower Thought: It's easier to get into a problem than get out of it.

In general it's easier to fall into a hole than to get out.

It's easier to get addicted to drinking or smoking than to stop.

It's easier to get yourself into a messy situation with a spouse or workmate than to fix it.

Same with findom. Getting in is easy in painless. It just happens.

Getting out takes a lot of time, effort, strategy, and self reflection.

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u/Wilberham — 4 days ago

My findomme was my only real life “friend” so now I have no one

Idk. They were the only person I’d hung out with irl. Had gone to concerts and bars together. And now I have no one. I feel so lonely.

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u/FUTUR0PIANISTA — 6 days ago

Potential findom user wanting to avoid addiction.

I am a long term lurker of findom content but have never actually sent. I have felt myself get closer and closer to sending particularly with some of the heavier humiliation themed content. Is it always a bad idea to send and try it out?

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u/nousername1209 — 6 days ago

2 Weeks In

Made it two weeks which is by far my longest streak over the last couple of years - feeling good and surprised by how much money I still have from last check.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

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u/North_Director5804 — 6 days ago

Trying to get out of the web is so difficult

Been in findom for about a year

I keep going through addiction and relapse cycles

This most recent cycle has been bad

Ill be sick of findom and swear to myself to never to do it again, only to come back to reddit a few days later just scrolling findom subreddits being curious and messaging dommes and playing with fire, or messaging my old dommes

I feel like im trapped in a web

at this point i dont know what to do anymore because no matter what i do the cycle keeps happening

thankfully i have been somewhat controlled with my sending, that is my only positive, but still i always think shit im sending 100s (over a year its come up to like maybe 2/3k) that i could be using on actual positive and healthy things in my life

i dont want to be in it but i cant help myself

how do you escape the cycle????

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u/Terumag_123 — 7 days ago

I feel like I’m exactly the kind of person findom is made for

I’ve realized that one of my biggest problems with quitting findom is that I’m just way too easy to manipulate.

I’m mentally weak when it comes to dommes. A little attention, some teasing, or the right words can completely get into my head, and before I know it I’m considering spending money again. I feel like I’m basically an easy target because I know exactly what buttons can be pushed to make me give in.

The frustrating part is that I’m aware of it. I can tell myself beforehand that I’m going to be strong, but once I’m actually interacting with a domme, my resolve disappears surprisingly quickly.

I really want to break this cycle.

For anyone who has quit findom, especially if you also felt like you were extremely susceptible to manipulation, what actually helped you?

How did you make yourself less vulnerable to those triggers and stop giving in so easily?

I’d genuinely appreciate any advice, because right now I feel like I’m the exact type of person dommes can spot and reel back in.

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u/Low-Side9810 — 6 days ago

How Can We Improve the Support This Group Offers?

To be clear, this isn't a formal post on behalf of all the mods here, this is purely something I wanted to throw out there.

Right now, at least as I see it, r/quittingfindom is a domme free (minus some lurkers, I presume) space that's mainly used as a place to vent. Be it a recent relapse, progress or struggles, or other rants about the space in general.

While we don't (and can't) claim that this is a space to "fix" anyone or relieve them of an addiction, it would be ideal if we could identify more ways of tangibly supporting the members here, where possible!

So is there any suggestions anyone has to improve this group? Anything you'd like to see? Or are you happy that it's a fairly informal, relatively safe-place to just get findom themed thoughts off your chest?

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u/Surviving_Findom — 8 days ago

It's not that I don't want to give in. It's that I don't want to want to give in.

I had an idea lately that a lot of us, me included, are at the phase of still enjoying findom, but just not wanting to want it.

I don't know if that makes any sense. It's like we want the love of it to go away, but we still are drawn to it.

I think a lot of us, me included, need to start just not wanting it in general. This is a more powerful position to fight urges.

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u/shrimpcagedsixseven — 7 days ago

Day 13

Feeling more focused and less distracted by findom in general. One of the biggest motivators for me was being more productive at work as I found I was spending much of my day messaging girls and even started to put off calls and other work related things because I was so distracted/invested in this headspace.

Urges have subsided quite a bit, at least today. It’s nice not being scared to open my banking app and being in control of my finances. Just a few observations. As always I’m happy to connect with anyone who wants to talk.

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u/North_Director5804 — 8 days ago

Relapsed

Bad relapse yesterday after a very strong 8 days of no porn at all.

Will come back from this tho, I’m now 28 I NEED to put this behind me for good

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u/LastWay8501 — 10 days ago