r/QuittingFindom

There is something profoundly dispiriting about watching finsubs read every warning, recognise themselves in every line, perhaps even agree that findom is hollow and destructive, and then walk straight back into it.

You can write about the wasted money, the manufactured intimacy, the post-nut disgust, the shame, the compulsive repetition. You can strip away the glamour until nothing remains but the transaction. And still, somewhere, someone is opening his banking app and preparing another tribute to a stranger who will have forgotten him by tomorrow.

Eventually, you realise that words cannot rescue someone determined to romanticise his own self-destruction. The cage can be described perfectly. The door can be left wide open. Some will still crawl back inside and call the bars beautiful.

I’ve managed to stop sending for a while now and it’s surprising how much easier saving is. You don’t really notice how much you’ve spent until it starts adding up quick.

Next goal is dropping porn completely, whether it’s femdom or vanilla. Maybe I’ll still let myself finish to the odd vanilla picture now and then.

After cutting down from porn about 50% I’m finding my endless to-do list is actually getting done. Never realised how much time, energy and motivation was getting wasted on top of the money. It's still a problem though, gooning when I'm working from home in particular, its unnatural to be home alone all day, but definitely proud of the direction I'm moving in.

I think the real lesson is I just need to learn to enjoy the daily grind a bit more. Chores, walks, staying fit. Just get used to doing the productive stuff my brain always labelled as boring and maybe even starting to enjoy them. Helps that most games I play these days already feel like work anyway. Once you’re older grinding in a game starts feeling like chores, so I might as well do the chores.