For context I’m 26. But I saw him and he looked like a mountain and I wanted to climb. Have the first date tomorrow. Meeting at a public place to be safe.
Dating older men is gonna be ticked off tomorrow. But I honestly don’t know how that’s gonna go.
Thank you universe. All the panic attacks and anxiety and depression was NOT worth it but I am here for a greater purpose.
I went on a first date with someone I met on Hinge. We went for a late-night drive.
During the date he started escalating things sexually. I didn’t feel ready for sex and tried to steer the interaction back toward talking and just spending time together. I felt like no matter how much I signaled I wanted to slow down, he kept escalating.
I didn’t explicitly say “No” or “Stop.” Part of that was because I had only just met him, we were alone in his car at night, and I became worried about my own safety. My thoughts shifted from “I don’t want this yet” to “I just want to get home safely.”
During sex I told him it hurt because I wanted him to be gentler. He continued for a little while before stopping. He had initially been reluctant to use a condom but did eventually use one. He didn’t ejaculate.
I did participate, and there were moments I enjoyed physically. At one point oral sex actually made me feel more in control of the situation.
The next morning I realized I wished we’d never had sex. Looking back, I feel like he escalated before I was ready, and I don’t know whether this was simply a bad sexual experience, coercion, or something else.
I’m not asking anyone to make a legal determination. I’m trying to understand whether what I’m feeling is something others have experienced and how they made sense of it.
Edit: Just to be clear, I did confirm with him before on the grounds that sex was off the table and it was just making our, but he kept escalating it and touching me and I felt like I couldn’t say no or stop because I had confirmed with him before and was hoping he understood what that means. But yeah it was too late for me to have any control of the situation that unfolded
THAT is not as sanitary as you think. It spews bacteria right in your hands. Literally 0 paper towels in all the Melbourne bathrooms I’ve been to, and I’ve been to quite a few!
I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the month of May. And yesterday night I had severe mental breakdown involving suicidal ideation. I woke up feeling jittery with cold sweats and shivers. I did a Telehealth consultation and applied for a deferral but it got denied as they said they need an in person consultation document. I booked another emergency appointment at the uni health services at 3pm. But I am unsure if I should power through and still study in case they reject it again, but I honestly don’t have it in me to focus on anything. I keep getting memories of my childhood and it makes me cry and I can’t stop crying.
FYI my exam is tomorrow morning.
Half the time I spent trying to remember the exact formulas, the other half was freaking out about the time left. And not to mention I’m sure I screwed up a lot in derivations and stuff.
Lord and the teaching team have mercy.
I would like to know
Edit 1: I would also like to know how this subreddit came to be then, if none of yall played it. Because I genuinely thought it was a subreddit for all the kids who grew up in the 2010s playing this game.
I am tired of attaching my life’s worth on potentials of romance. Disgusting. I’m tired. I need to rethink my life. Getting attached to every dude friend who shows an ounce of intelligence and empathy is not the way I wanna live life. Especially why men who are taken? I am insane. But also I recognise I have unmet needs. Screw my childhood. I wish I had better exposure before. I am too tired at 26 to do it. But I guess it’s good that I am able to recognise it now. I can fix my trajectory.
I recently got a diagnosis of Anxiety and Depression from my general practitioner and he referred me to a psychologist to seek help and discuss a possible start of medications. I have two exams in the month of June, one on 8th and the second on 11th. I just wanted to give myself some time to prepare since all the revelations have me feeling somewhat weird. Can I defer one of the exam and is this a good enough a reason to?