u/Comfortable_Chart534

I had to put down my girl yesterday and I don’t know what to do with myself. Waves of bawling mixed with waves of feeling absolutely hollowed out and dead inside. I keep replaying the moment of euthanasia as I held her, as if to remind myself she is in fact gone, not just somewhere else or staying overnight at the vet. Have to keep reminding myself that I gave her a great life and so much love, but those last few weeks of lymphoma catching up to her, steroids working on and off, and quickly declining in the last couple days, really has been dominating my life recently and it’s hard not to remember her that way. I’m looking at photos and videos of when she was healthy non stop. Just don’t know what to do with myself. Went to a farmers market this morning and was just welling up in public the whole time. So many times where I think I hear her around the apartment or see her in my peripheral. It’s just me there now and it makes me sick