u/Commercial_Gain_2312

My partner was very much on board with the agere I experience very frequently until things took a dark turn. I usually regress to 3, 4 yo, and he was very excited and horny to have sex with me in that state, but once I actually started to surface the trauma and throw tantrums, voice that I was uncomfortable with sexual behavior around me when I regress (I also work in the kitchen when I regress to age 8), he started fully rejecting me. I feel unwelcome, he wants me to be out for hours so he can masturbate to his kink, and has essentially locked me out of his life since I am no longer a part of his sexual play.

All I wanted was to have also support with the hard part of all this. I can't always be all fun, I don't have that structure.

I have moved into the spare room, and now I am afraid to continue my healing, which he says it's ineffective, and all day there is tension, I am made the villain for expressing my feelings and crying when I feel like it. Being outside is not any better for me because I feel very exposed and unsafe to actually release my emotions, and my crying seems to make him uncomfortable to masturbate.

I don't know what to ask for. Insight, maybe, whatever comes to you to tell me.

Please mods if this isn't allowed let me know and I will take it down.

Life happens backwards. We are born dead. Attachment, pain, confusion, in a transitional space, and when that is done, finally, we experience life, without bounds, without shame or fear. Free. Invisible, untouchable, free of obligation or tax, interacting only with the things you choose to, only with what genuinely brings joy. We are born undead before we can let go and be alive.

I think finding some little and cg friends would help me a lot with unlocking some things in me I have no words for. I just want to be part of something bigger than myself I guess (pun intended). I want to chat with you about this and other things, how to do life regressing so frequently. I become 3-5 very frequently but I feel like I am trying to hold a lot back and it's been painful.

I want to find out or rediscover what to like, to find the joy in being me the way I am.

Anyone more experienced or someone who can give me insight on this universe, I would love to chat.

I don't believe I have a safe regression place to go back to. I lost my twin on the womb, so not even that was a place of warmth and peace like everybody refers to. After being born I had to take expensive formula so I was resented for that (I sort of feel like they think I am the twin that should have died), and then hated from a young age every day after that. I have been remembering sexual abuse memories from before I had language and it is all very murky, confusing, every feeling at once, despair, a pain that does not have relief and that I cannot make into words, that I cannot escape, it is torture. It is the rawest form of most extreme vulnerability, probably the energy of animals when they are faced with a predator, that freeze response, that. My partner cannot be around me when I regress, gets brothered that I am putting such heavy energy in the room. I have no one to talk to, no family, no support from anyone and would like to get some perspective.

If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice for me, I deeply appreciate it. If you have anything to say at all please don't hesitate to comment. I would like to feel less lonely.

I don't believe I have a safe regression place to go back to. I lost my twin on the womb, so not even that was a place of warmth and peace like everybody refers to. After being born I had to take expensive formula so I was resented for that (I sort of feel like they think I am the twin that should have died), and then hated from a young age every day after that. I have been remembering sexual abuse memories from before I had language and it is all very murky, confusing, every feeling at once, despair, a pain that does not have relief and that I cannot make into words, that I cannot escape, it is torture. It is the rawest form of most extreme vulnerability, probably the energy of animals when they are faced with a predator, that freeze response, that. My partner cannot be around me when I regress, gets brothered that I am putting such heavy energy in the room. I have no one to talk to, no family, no support from anyone and would like to get some perspective.

If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice for me, I deeply appreciate it. If you have anything to say at all please don't hesitate to comment. I would like to feel less lonely.

I don't believe I have a safe regression place to go back to. I lost my twin on the womb, so not even that was a place of warmth and peace like everybody refers to. After being born I had to take expensive formula so I was resented for that (I sort of feel like they think I am the twin that should have died), and then hated from a young age every day after that. I have been remembering sexual abuse memories from before I had language and it is all very murky, confusing, every feeling at once, despair, a pain that does not have relief and that I cannot make into words, that I cannot escape, it is torture. It is the rawest form of most extreme vulnerability, probably the energy of animals when they are faced with a predator, that freeze response, that. My partner cannot be around me when I regress, gets brothered that I am putting such heavy energy in the room. I have no one to talk to, no family, no support from anyone and would like to get some perspective.

If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice for me, I deeply appreciate it. If you have anything to say at all please don't hesitate to comment. I would like to feel less lonely.

I don't believe I have a safe regression place to go back to. I lost my twin on the womb, so not even that was a place of warmth and peace like everybody refers to. After being born I had to take expensive formula so I was resented for that (I sort of feel like they think I am the twin that should have d¹ed), and then hated from a young age every day after that. I have been remembering sexual abuse memories from before I had language and it is all very murky, confusing, every feeling at once, despair, a pain that does not have relief and that I cannot make into words, that I cannot escape, it is torture. It is the rawest form of most extreme vulnerability, probably the energy of animals when they are faced with a predator, that freeze response, that. My partner cannot be around me when I regress, gets brothered that I am putting such heavy energy in the room. I have no one to talk to, no family, no support from anyone and would like to get some perspective.

If anyone has gone through something similar and/or has any advice for me, I deeply appreciate it. If you have anything to say at all please don't hesitate to comment. I would like to feel less lonely.