u/Common-Bid9775

One minute I’m convinced something is missing. I think “I love him, but I don’t think I want to be in this relationship anymore.” I feel bored, emotionally disconnected, and like in an ideal world we’d break up but still stay close friends because I don’t actually want to lose him as a person.

I also don’t want to be the one to end things because he’s going through a lot mentally right now, so part of me almost wants him to do it for me.

But then he’ll send me a really sweet message or suddenly seem enthusiastic and loving towards the relationship, and it completely flips. All of a sudden I feel full of love again and can picture a future with him that I can’t imagine losing.

It’s exhausting because my feelings feel completely different depending on the moment and I don’t know whether this is relationship anxiety/avoidant attachment, genuine incompatibility, or if I’m just emotionally burnt out from overthinking everything.

Does anyone know how to get clarity with this sort of thing?

“”Sexual desire is a healthy, voluntary, and pleasurable longing for sexual activity, whereas sexual compulsions are involuntary, repetitive urges that cause distress and interfere with daily life. Compulsion is defined by a lack of control and the use of sex for emotional relief rather than enjoyment, often resulting in significant negative consequences.””

Definitely explains how they’re always talking about compartmentalisation.

My hopes of mending my sex life with my PA are almost diminished from learning this prospective.

Some days are good and there’s so much hope, others I feel totally deflated.

I’m trying to understand what this looked like for other couples because my partner says his cravings for porn dropped massively, but so has his sex drive in general. He’s gone weeks without porn/orgasm and still seems emotionally affectionate but sexually shut down.

My boyfriend constantly compliments me, tells me I’m out of his league, notices how I dress, cuddles me all the time, wants to be around me constantly, and is very affectionate emotionally. In public he’s glued to my side and very loving.

But our sex life is basically nonexistent.

He has admitted he struggled with porn addiction and also said that when he was single he used flirting and attention from women for validation. Before our relationship he had a lot of casual sex and seemed very sexually driven.

What confuses me is that with me, he’s the opposite. We hardly make out anymore and I genuinely can’t remember the last time sex felt natural between us.

He also struggles with OCD, including multiple obsessive themes, and lately there’s been a lot of anxiety and guilt wrapped up in sexuality and relationships. He has completely quit porn, blocked girls off his phone, and from what I can tell he really is trying. I do see effort and change from him emotionally.

But despite all that, the sexual connection still isn’t coming back and I’m terrified this just means he isn’t actually sexually attracted to me in a relationship setting.

Has anyone experienced something similar where emotional attachment, OCD/anxiety, porn issues, avoidant tendencies, etc. affected intimacy like this?

Can attraction come back after someone quits porn and works on themselves, or am I clinging to something that probably won’t change?

My boyfriend constantly compliments me, tells me I’m out of his league, notices how I dress, cuddles me all the time, wants to be around me lots, and is very affectionate emotionally. In public he’s glued to my side and very loving.

But our sex life is basically nonexistent.

He has admitted he struggled with porn addiction and also said that he used flirting and attention from women for validation. Before our relationship he had a lot of casual sex and seemed very sexually driven.

What confuses me is that with me, he’s the opposite. We hardly make out anymore and I genuinely can’t remember the last time sex felt natural between us.

He also struggles with OCD, including multiple obsessive themes, and lately there’s been a lot of anxiety and guilt wrapped up in sexuality and relationships. He has completely quit porn, blocked girls off his phone, and from what I can tell he really is trying. I do see effort and change from him emotionally.

But despite all that, the sexual connection still isn’t coming back and I’m terrified this just means he isn’t actually sexually attracted to me in a relationship setting.

Has anyone experienced something similar where emotional attachment, OCD/anxiety, porn issues, avoidant tendencies, etc. affected intimacy like this?

Can attraction come back after someone quits porn and works on themselves, or am I clinging to something that probably won’t change?

Hi everyone,

I’m really struggling with how to support my boyfriend and would appreciate some advice from people who understand OCD better.

He believes he has real-event OCD and is dealing with intense guilt over something he did. When he first told me about it, I was honestly really upset and hurt. But as more details came out, I started to see it was relatively minor compared to the level of guilt and distress he’s experiencing.

Right now he’s in a really bad place. He’s lost his appetite, his sex drive is gone, he’s constantly anxious, and he can’t sleep because he keeps ruminating on what happened. The guilt seems completely overwhelming and disproportionate.

I’ve read that giving reassurance can actually make OCD worse, but at the same time, the level of pain he’s in feels so intense that it’s hard to just sit back and not comfort him or try to ease his guilt. I feel torn between wanting to help him feel better and not wanting to reinforce the OCD cycle.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, either personally or with a partner?
How do you support someone through this without feeding the OCD?
What actually helps in moments when the guilt and anxiety are this high?

My bf recently confessed to a sex addiction and said he’s been acting on urges like flirting and messaging others. He went into detail about the flirting and to me it just sounded like an awkward conversation. He suffers really bad OCD and the confession comes with that but I’m just really confused on what I’m meant to believe? He’s really distraught and can’t be around me without feeling immense guilt and I’m worried he’s feeling that way over something minor

I’m trying to understand something honestly, not just emotionally.

My partner has admitted to struggling with porn/sex addiction, and he’s now in recovery (therapy, accountability, etc.). What I’m struggling with is this:

Is it actually realistic for someone with this kind of addiction to be loyal in a relationship long-term?

I don’t just mean “not physically cheating,” but also not constantly seeking validation, attention, or sexual stimulation from other women (online or in real life).