u/Competitive-Path-464

I feel so bad. I push people away when there's something meaningful. I was talking to this guy and all was going well. I didn't hear from him in about 4 days so I blocked him. I look back on my iPad and it turns out he had messaged me asking if I ghosted him. We both thought we were ghosting each other.

If only I had the communication skills to speak to him before the block. I push people away when there's a connection to avoid getting hurt and it backfires. I texted him on my roommates phone (which didn't show delivered either) and other phones went straight to voicemail so I'm just hoping somewhere that maybe just maybe his phone is off or something. I am also going to try texting his relative and then I give up. I am literally hanging on by a thread here.

I hate feeling like I ruined the one thing I loved. Like I sabotaged it. I went to other communities and was just met with sarcasm and blaming. I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could do better. Somewhere I'm hoping that this guy will see one of the messages and come back if he truly likes me. I try to stay positive but left disappointed. I think that's what life is.

I thought I got ghosted by this guy. He hasn't texted me for about 4 days so I blocked him. Turns out he reached out during this period the convo went like this:

Him: How are you?
Him: Are you ghosting me?

...2 hours later

Him: I guess so

I reached back out to him today. Phone went straight to voicemail. Text not delivered. I tried others phones too. They went straight to voicemail and texts didn't show as delivered either.

Now I don't know what's going on. Did he die? Is his phone off? God I have such strong feelings for this man and it's driving me crazy. Did I screw things up?

I'm thinking of contacting one of his relatives tomorrow and seeing if they've heard from him. After that I give up. Thoughts?

I know this could have been avoided.

I push people away before they leave me. Love feels foreign to me so I push that away too, sometimes in crazy ways. It seems like no matter what I do I can't be truly happy. My nervous system acts before I do and I truly don't think it will ever get better. I hate messing up every potential connection I have because I'm afraid they will see the real me.

Don't worry the title is click-bait ish. I recently had a drunken night and I was inpacitated. It's all coming back to me now. However I do believe it was consensual. I realized part of why I reported this guy to the police was because I was upset about being ghosted after this intimate encounter. Am I crazy??

But today I look on my iPad and he actually contacted me while he was blocked asking if I'm ghosting him. Turns out I actually realized I have feelings for this man. Do I get back in contact?

I just went no contact with my emotionally abusive mom after years of therapy about two weeks ago. Everything's been smooth so far until I got a text from my grandma on behalf of my mom checking in on me and saying that my mom tells her everyday she's lonely and blaming it on me for not contacting.

Right there, I could see old patterns coming back. I block literally every communication channel and still get this from another family member. I just sometimes don't have hope.

I just went no contact with my emotionally abusive mom after years of therapy about two weeks ago. Everything's been smooth so far until I got a text from my grandma on behalf of my mom checking in on me and saying that my mom tells her everyday she's lonely and blaming it on me for not contacting.

Right there, I could see old patterns coming back. I block literally every communication channel and still get this from another family member. I just sometimes don't have hope.

So we've been hanging out for a few weeks now. I'm 19 and he's 37. We've been having sex, going on dates. He's shown that he likes me. Like likes me for who I am not just my appearence. Like sharing his inner world with me, complimenting my personality, idk it just seemed to be going well and we seem in sync. It seems genuine and everything he's been saying implies he wants to continue with this. When we've been texting for the past week I guess the initiation has been about 50/50 but he did reach out first a lot.

He sent me a nice text the other day and I responded warmly. Maybe kinda closed the loop, didn't ask directly about his day or anything bc I was so tired. But I was still friendly and he could have responded if he wanted to. It's been about 48 hours and I have not heard from him.

Should I send a quick text to see how he will respond? Or just move on?