u/Comprehensive-Buy763

I’ve been no-contact with my parents for a decade now. I never wanted to do that, but they just didn’t respect me or basic boundaries I set with them.
My younger siblings have conveniently been playing victim about our family and its dynamic. I’ve tried my best to be there for them and protect them, but they’ve often ganged up with my family and mobbed me. I’m the scapegoat. So after a year and a half of intense grieving, I reached out to my siblings to try to have any kind of relationship or conversation with them, and they told me no, they don’t want anything to do with me. I finally accepted it, and I texted them both to let them know how I felt. I said, “You know what, there’s no longer a seat at the table of my life for you,” and I couldn’t be happier.
I just noticed this pattern across all my relationships, where essentially I feel so guilty that I’m trying to make up for my relationship with my siblings in my other relationships, but it’s not true. I did nothing to my siblings. I’ve asked point blank: did I wrong you? Did I hurt you? With my little brother, he lies and makes up shit even when there’s proof otherwise. I confront him with the proof, and he tries to gaslight me. With my little sister, the final point came when I caught her smirking after rejecting me and ghosting me, after we’d made plans to share our birthdays together, since we were born just hours apart. Even with that, even with my little sister setting me up for ambushes with my family and everything, I still had a lot of love for her, and I honestly just wanted her in my life. But relationships are a two-way street, and honestly, when I sat back and really thought about it, my siblings didn’t treat me any better than my parents did. So what’s the point of having them in my life? There isn’t one. So I got rid of them.
I am so happy, and I feel so free. I’m finally living my life how I want to and being congruent with myself, not always fighting myself because of guilt I had about something I didn’t even do, all because somebody wants to play victim so they can feel good about the way they treat me.

- edit - proof read.

We’ve been working on me not tolerating disrespect from people in my life. My therapist would scroll on her phone during our sessions. Then she scheduled an in-person appointment, didn’t show up, and never told me not to come. When I called her, she brushed it off with a quick apology, said we’d ‘discuss it next time,’ and rushed off the phone no real acknowledgment of how that felt.
That was the last straw, so I ended things with no explanation. I figure she knows why. It felt like a fitting, almost ironic way to finally hold a boundary. Now she keeps texting and emailing about group classes and coming back to one-on-ones, even though I already told her I was on vacation and would reach out when I was ready. Weird.

-edit- grammar. Punctuation.

I need to vent about what my ex-therapist did, because if I told her directly, she'd just gaslight me. So I'm putting it here instead.

She ended our sessions with no notice, right before my vacation, and after making it seem like we'd pick up when I got back. No time to find someone new, no time to grieve. It completely ruined my time away.

When I asked why, she blamed me for not asking if she was only there for student hours. Apparently I was supposed to know that. She made it my fault.

Worse: I had told her my family used to blame me for things I didn't do. Then she did the exact same thing to me. Weaponized my own trauma.

She also promised EMDR for months but barely did it. The few times we started, she'd rush me or interrupt mid-processing. At the very end, she said I "wasn't up for it" and needed to be happier first. So I have to be healed to do the therapy that's supposed to heal me?

It felt like she was stringing me along, more about her hours and her benefit than my progress. Unethical, careless, and deeply invalidating.

So here's my question for you all: Is this worth reporting to a licensing board? And if so, what would you even file it under?
I'm torn between letting it go and wanting to prevent this from happening to someone else.

I’ve been looking for an EMDR therapist through Medicaid/Medi-Cal. I’ve done EMDR before and it helped a lot, but my old therapist isn’t available.

During intake, multiple therapists have said they need to get to know me first, fine. But once we start, they change the timeline to 3–6 months, interrupt me mid-processing, or bring up random issues I never asked about (one even talked about whiteboards and bedtime routines).

It feels unethical, as if they know EMDR works fast and want to stretch it out for money or hours instead of actually helping.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

* Sigh *

I don’t even know what I’m looking for here. Maybe I just need to vent. I’m extremely hurt and have been depressed over my relationship with my siblings. Our parents raised us to compete with each other.

My relationship with my baby sister is the most hurtful one for me because I worked really hard to protect her to the best of my ability. Obviously I wasn’t perfect. I almost dropped out of college to make sure she was safe but now she won’t even talk to me. she can’t even give me a reason why when I ask her what’s wrong.

And my little brother, who I also had multiple conversations with about our parents and their behavior. He was an adult at the time, 18 and he decided to go back with them and align with them and try to bully me until he needed me. Then he tried to switch sides, and I told him no but now he wants to phrase things like he’s some victim that I just abandoned. It’s like what are you talking about? Nobody abandoned you. You’re an adult. You made your adult decisions and then when the consequences came, you wanna blame me for them.

The fallout of this stuff sucks. I’m a grown man in my mid 30s and I grieve almost everyday.

I’m just losing this part of me that wanted to fight and stay alive and I don’t know what to do. I’m just numb these days.