u/Conscious-Writing147

NSFW:

On and off hookup of a few years. We stopped talking for a bit then started talking as friends last year in May. We met up for the first time in over a year in September last year and things escalated quite quickly. We had spoken about how I didn’t want a relationship, he said he wasn’t sleeping with people. Things changed very quickly. He stayed the night and we ended up having incredibly passionate sex. He did send me a text that evening stating that “the problem is if we do any of this we can’t put it away again (asa friend )”. However the next morning was mega awkward. Idk , we continued texting for a month or so after just as friends and then he went ghost again. I’d started seeing a guy casually and he started seeing someone too but idk I think it might have been serious. I’m not too sure what happened lmao. Ofc if he is in a relationship now I don’t want anything to do with that. Just miss him that’s all.

NSFW//
TW: MENTION OF ABUSE AND EATING DISORDER

I spent a lot of my childhood being bullied for being ugly which sucked. My obsession with my appearance was debilitating to the point I couldn’t leave my house and developed an eating disorder. It prevented me from being able to focus on bettering myself and learning hobbies. It didn’t help that I had a mentally and physically abusive dad who got in the way of me taking up / practicing things I enjoyed. I’m now an adult who is viewed as conventionally attractive but it’s not as cathartic as I thought it would be. It’s not rewarding. I’m annoyed that I spent so much of my youth focusing on being pretty instead of learning how to play an instrument or study or something. Mastering a skill of some sort. Anything. I’m in my final year of university but I’m just going through the motions I think. I’m now taking up everything I wanted to but I’m so behind. Guess we all need to start somewhere.

I’m friends with a girl and she’s nice but we both have incredibly different vibes. We don’t quite click. She hasn’t made an effort to make friends and she expects me to invite her everywhere but I don’t want to because we don’t quite click. She has a tendency to stifle the mood a little and I don’t know how to distance myself without it being horrible. How do I politely end the friendship?

I was recently seeing a guy and he kept doing things to make me question myself. I ended things with him over a month ago because of how rude he was at times. Idk if he was playing the dread game either (we weren’t dating for long. Only around 3 months but I could see it was goinb to progress into something weird if I didn’t end it as soon as I did).

I’m a fairly confident woman and a lot of people think I’m attractive. That’s not to say that I think I am but I’ve noticed that I do get attention sometimes. I put a lot of effort into my clothes and I have a unique sense of style too, which is what people compliment me on the most. I like the way I look and I also like how I dress too. I started seeing this guy a few months ago and I noticed that he’d make snarky remarks about my outfits but pass them off as a joke. When people would compliment me he’d seem semi annoyed too??? It was strange. I put effort into my appearance way before seeing him but also a little more than usual when I was dating him. When we’d go on dates he’d never tell me my clothes looked nice or that I looked pretty. And of course other people would but it would have been nice to hear it from him too. He only ever called me pretty during sex which made me feel disgusting.

There was another time where we went on a night out and he bumped into a girl he knew. He claimed she was just a friend and that she’s “not even my (his) type”. However, he spent a good 15 minutes locking eyes with her, laughing at her jokes and actively ignoring me ??? It was clear that they were flirting and when I pointed it out he pulled the typical “she’s just a friend” “she’s not even my type” “ you’re just being insecure”. It was insulting because he didn’t check for me once. He didn’t even seem to want to acknowledge my presence. When I’d introduce him to my friends I’d make an effort to involve him in the conversation and make sure he felt acknowledged. This is heightened by the fact that a mutual friend of mine and his wasn’t aware of this story and he, in passing, told me that “there’s a weird flirty thing going on between <insert name> and the singer in his collective”. (A few weeks after the breakup) When I asked him to show me a picture, it was the girl that he told me not to worry about. I never told our mate about the situation or the girl and he somehow saw what I was seeing too. I knew I wasn’t imagining it or “just being insecure”.

There was another incident on Valentine’s Day that also left me quite uncomfortable. I was talking about a mate and I was certain that he’d know her because he goes to a lot of events he does. I was just getting excited about having potential mutual friends. He didn’t recognise her just by the name alone because her name is quite popular but then I showed him a picture of her and he said “OMG. HER …????” He looked almost taken aback and disgusted by the fact that she’d even be associated with someone like me??? He then proceeded to say “NO WAY. SHES WAY TOO COOL FOR YOU”. He tried to pose it as a joke but it felt quite disingenuous. He had a tendency to make weird comparisons between me and my other friends. It felt as though he was trying to put me against them. It wasn’t effective because I love my friends and they’re a group of very cool woman. I’m
not in competition with them and I love that they’re amazing and beautiful.

He also had a tendency to make fun of my hobbies or any attempts at my hobbies. I had an instagram page for a hobby that I never posted on and I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my work with him so
I didn’t. But at times he’d say use my username for that insta page in conversation as a joke?? “Oh and that’s <insert username> our favourite (insert hobby)”

I also mentioned that I wanted to start doing live sets for a hobby that I have. He has the same
hobby too and he has been in that particular industry for a while and his sets gain a lot of traction within the area so he’s experienced. When I said that I wanted to do it … he burst out in laughter. He spoke to me as though I was a child stating that I’m planning on morphing into Beyonce.

Anyways, two weeks ago we both bumped into each other and we were both drunk and ended up making out. Which was awful. We hadn’t spoken for a month, which is fine. However, im quite annoyed because I was still seeing signs of disrespect. The drunken snog was simply a blip that I wouldn’t dare let happen again. The next day though , I addressed the disrespect (basically everything I’ve written here and some more stuff because I never properly got it off my chest ). He used the “I’m going through some family stuff” bs and said I should refrain from contacting him. I stated that I simply wanted an apology. That was it. I’m
Not trying to get with him but I just felt like I was imagining the mistreatment that occurred during our time dating. I haven’t spoken to him since and I’m over it now tbf. I just wanted him to say I’m sorry because I feel like I’m going insane.