


AIO because my long distance boyfriend wants me to show more effort like cooking before he’ll agree to longer visits?
I’m trying to figure out if I’m (30F) overreacting or if my concerns are reasonable. I’m in a long-distance relationship and every time I visit him (31M) it’s a significant commitment on my end. I drive about 2 hours to the airport, arrive around 2 hours early, then take about a 2-hour flight, so it’s basically a full day of travel each way. He has been generous in paying for my flights and our dates, which I genuinely appreciate. On my end, I’ve covered things like airport parking, gas for the 4-hour round trip to the airport, and my checked bag. I never asked him to pay those expenses because I’m a woman and, personally, I didn’t want to make him feel like less of a man by nickel-and-diming him over every cost.
The part I’m struggling with is that he says one of his love languages is being cooked for and doing longer visits or considering moving forward in general he wants to see me cooking for him more during the short weekend visits. From my perspective, I’m already investing a lot of time and effort just to get there and our weekends together are limited. I was hoping longer visits would let us experience normal day-to-day life together, but instead it feels like he’s saying I need to prove myself more on these short trips before we even get to that point. Also, in the beginning he sent me door dash a few times as a gesture but seems to have stopped because he thinks it’s not even. Almost like he’s keeping a balance sheet. Am I overreacting for feeling like the focus is on what I still need to demonstrate rather than recognizing the effort I’m already making to be there?