Image 1 — AIO because my long distance boyfriend wants me to show more effort like cooking before he’ll agree to longer visits?
Image 2 — AIO because my long distance boyfriend wants me to show more effort like cooking before he’ll agree to longer visits?
Image 3 — AIO because my long distance boyfriend wants me to show more effort like cooking before he’ll agree to longer visits?
▲ 210 r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AIO because my long distance boyfriend wants me to show more effort like cooking before he’ll agree to longer visits?

I’m trying to figure out if I’m (30F) overreacting or if my concerns are reasonable. I’m in a long-distance relationship and every time I visit him (31M) it’s a significant commitment on my end. I drive about 2 hours to the airport, arrive around 2 hours early, then take about a 2-hour flight, so it’s basically a full day of travel each way. He has been generous in paying for my flights and our dates, which I genuinely appreciate. On my end, I’ve covered things like airport parking, gas for the 4-hour round trip to the airport, and my checked bag. I never asked him to pay those expenses because I’m a woman and, personally, I didn’t want to make him feel like less of a man by nickel-and-diming him over every cost.
The part I’m struggling with is that he says one of his love languages is being cooked for and doing longer visits or considering moving forward in general he wants to see me cooking for him more during the short weekend visits. From my perspective, I’m already investing a lot of time and effort just to get there and our weekends together are limited. I was hoping longer visits would let us experience normal day-to-day life together, but instead it feels like he’s saying I need to prove myself more on these short trips before we even get to that point. Also, in the beginning he sent me door dash a few times as a gesture but seems to have stopped because he thinks it’s not even. Almost like he’s keeping a balance sheet. Am I overreacting for feeling like the focus is on what I still need to demonstrate rather than recognizing the effort I’m already making to be there?

u/ConsciousEconomy5860 — 4 hours ago

Will I get deactivated?

Has anyone had a Walmart loader accidentally put the wrong sticker on an item or swap items between two customers during curbside pickup?
For example, Customer A was supposed to get a case of water, but the loader put that water with Customer B’s order and gave Customer B’s other items to Customer A. As the driver, we’re relying on the store’s labels and keeping the orders separated as they were loaded.
In a situation like that, is the driver expected to catch the mistake, or is it considered a store loading error? Has anyone experienced this, and how was it handled?

I really hope this isn’t a threat to my account :(

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u/ConsciousEconomy5860 — 7 hours ago

Is it possible for a man (41M) to love you (31F) but still decide to "put the relationship down" for a career mission?

I’m struggling to understand a situation where a man I had a genuine connection with nothing but love and respect between us has decided to walk away to focus on a intensive career mission and life coaching.

He is at a major crossroads in his life and he has framed his need for isolation as a necessary "rebuild" phase, explicitly stating he cannot be the person he wants to be until he stabilizes his career and housing.

While I know he is under immense pressure and I believe the connection was real, I’m finding it impossible to reconcile the intensity of what we shared with being treated as a distraction he needs to set aside. He said I’m pure and genuine and that our connection is fragile and essentially saying he’s afraid to pick it up and break it if he’s not ready or stable in life currently.

Has anyone else navigated a situation where someone used a career or life "rebuild" as a justification for ending or pausing a connection? Given that he is working with a "tough" coach, what do you think that coach is actually suggesting to him about his personal life? He said he plans to work with the coach for about 3-6 months.

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u/ConsciousEconomy5860 — 6 days ago

41M says he won’t take the risk because of his life circumstances. Would telling him I’m willing to accept the risks change anything? (30F)

A year ago I met a man through work. We were both attracted to each other and there was obvious chemistry, but neither of us acted on it. We spent months getting to know each other and building a connection.
Right before he moved out of state, we finally spent an evening together. It was one of the most meaningful and romantic nights I’ve ever had with someone. We finally acknowledged the attraction and connection that had been there the whole time.
After that, he moved away. He never said he lacked feelings for me. Instead, he kept saying he was trying to figure his life out. He talked about not wanting to drag someone into his chaotic life, not wanting to ruin someone’s life, and not feeling like he was in a position to offer someone what they deserved.
He told me I had a huge impact on him, that he was mesmerized by my beauty, and that he put me on a pedestal. Despite that, he never moved things forward.
We barely spoke for a year outside of occasional check-ins.
Recently he came back to visit and we spent time together again. To my surprise, the chemistry was still there. During the evening he again talked about not feeling like he deserved me, not wanting to hurt me, and being reluctant to start something unless he felt stable in his life.
He said being around me was dangerous because of his feelings. He said intimacy would be dangerous because it would make the feelings stronger and make it harder not knowing when we’d see each other again. While we were cuddling, he said he would love to wake up next to me every morning and come home to me at night.
I basically argued the opposite side. I told him you only live once. I asked what about the opportunities you regret not taking because you were too focused on avoiding risk. I’d rather take a chance on something meaningful and have it fail than spend years wondering “what if.”
The frustrating part is that he seems to view himself as protecting me by not taking the risk, while I feel like I should be allowed to decide for myself whether the risk is worth it.
I’m considering telling him directly:
“I understand the risks. I’d rather try and fail than never try at all. You don’t need to protect me from a choice I would willingly make.”
My question is: if someone is holding back because they genuinely think they’re protecting you, does explicitly telling them you’re willing to accept the risks ever make a difference? Or if someone is this hesitant, does it usually mean their mind is already made up regardless of what you say?
Also, when I told him “you only live once” and asked about regretting the chances you don’t take, was I already basically communicating that I felt this way?

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u/ConsciousEconomy5860 — 14 days ago

Store reassigned my order after loading my car due to label issue, did I handle this correctly?

Need some advice from experienced Spark drivers. I accepted a curbside order around 2:15 PM and waited almost an hour for it. The order was eventually loaded into my car, but the associate realized they couldn’t find the label/barcode for the order. She spent several minutes trying to locate it and figure out how to print another one, but couldn’t get it resolved. The order had perishables and showed a deadline of 4 PM, and by this point it was around 3:10 PM. I told her I wasn’t sure I had enough time left if there were going to be more delays. She then unloaded the groceries from my car and marked the order as “give to another driver.” I never canceled the order myself and never left with any groceries. Did I handle this correctly, or should I have waited longer while they tried to fix the label issue?

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u/ConsciousEconomy5860 — 1 month ago