u/Conscious_Law_8647

No. 5: Pocong
Was walking in front of a graveyard and saw one jumping around. Haven’t walked near a graveyard at night since. and threw away my sister favourite bantal guling princess jasmine that same night.

No. 4: Dark forest
Went hiking with a group, got lost for 4 hours, and heard and encountered all kinds of shit, random fog appear, bunian pretend to sound like my friend moaning(kinda geh), hutan babi. Never again.

No. 3: Pontianak
Experienced one during sleep paralysis at home, and another time while working with friends. Fuckers were communicating through our heads like walkie-talkies.

No. 2: Wild stray Hungry-ass dogs
You know that Mr. Bean episode where he wins a race because he gets chased by a dog? Yeah, that happened to me. They say running 1km in under 3 minutes means you’re in great shape. A dog chased me and I did it in under a minute. I haven’t run in five years 💀

and now finally No. 1:

Hands down, By far.. and without a doubt

the most terrifying creature I encounter every fucking day, both in broad daylight and at night.

It’s also responsible for some of the biggest tragedies in Asia…

..The average Malaysian Driver

I’d rather get lost in a forest and encounter a babi hutan than encounter a babi behind the wheel.

That a lot of the “aunties” I see are actually attractive to me.

Then I realized they’re in their 30s.

Then I realized I'm in my 30s and I look like everyone’s uncle now.

And suddenly it all made sense why teenagers look at me like I’m fucking creepy whenever I talk to them the exact same way I talked when I was in high school.

So now I gotta consciously change my behavior, vocabulary, slang, tone, mannerisms, everything, and act “mature” whenever I interact with teenagers so I don’t come across as some weird, creepy-ass basement uncle trying to talk like them.

Which fucking sucks because I can’t just be myself anymore. I have to consciously act like a proper adult whenever I’m around them.

I’m fucking old. I hate it FUUUUUUUUU

UPDATE: And before anyone asks why I’m even talking to teenagers in the first place: because I touch grass. 😂 Go to an event, marathon, mamak, whatever, and there are going to be people of all ages there. I’m not going around looking for teenagers to socialize with.
Like the other night, I was hanging out with my cousin and his friends at a mamak. They didn’t even find it amusing when I started talking about my GOAT, Kamen Rider Black RX.

the point is it’s totally fine to casually talk to younger people about anything. It’s just the way I naturally talk to them that I have to be more conscious about now.
Like, I can’t casually go, “Weyh semalam aku gi tengok citer Spider-Man doh, bapak best siak. Rasa nak gi loncat bangunan bahaha.”

That kind of slang was completely normal when I was in my early 20s, but coming from a 31-year-old dude, I suddenly realize how realy weird it can sound

What’s funny is that most Malays can’t fully understand our own Malay dialects like Kedah, Kelantan, or Terengganu, sarawak etc but somehow we can all understand Indonesian shows/songs just fine.

I only thought about this because I was buying food at the Kampung Baru stalls. When I ordered and paid food at at stall run by Kelantan workers, I could barely understand what they were saying. Then I went to an Indonesian food stall, and even though they were speaking Indonesian, I understood them just fine. It’s kind of wild when you think about it.

How the hell did we all survive driving on KL highways before GPS? 😂
As for me, I’d just stop at a petrol station and ask for directions since the staff were locals. I remember having to stop a few times before finally finding the right place.

I fucking hate it when people make those stupid trendy TikToks in public spaces, especially on busy sidewalks and traffic crossings. Half the time they’re blocking the entire path, and I end up having to waste my energy either asking them to move or squeezing my way past them. If you’re going to film in a public space, don’t expect everyone else to stop and wait around for your perfect shot. I’m not putting my day on hold for your TikTok moment.