u/Consistent-Badger757

30F and 42M both married (5 and 18 yrs respectively) in a relationship for about 2 years. Friends for 2-3 years before it developed into something much more. To make things complicated, we live in different states about 6 hours apart. In the beginning, I was nonchalant about 42M posting pictures of his lavish lifestyle with his wife, (38F) but found myself reacting hostile towards it recently as feelings grow. We see each other every 2-3 months, have a lot of sex when we do and 42M has not been intimate with his wife for a year. It is to the point where we have discussed whoopsie scenarios and has openly stated he does not mind having a child with me. It is almost as if he hopes fate pulls the trigger for him. He always talks about how our relationship is forever, but I know this structure does not work for me. He is comfortable with his current life and I totally get that he does not want to uproot his entire life and cause a shitstorm although he loves me. Both things can be true at the same time. Same for me, but I feel given my younger age I do not mind starting again. At the same time, I also feel I am not giving my own life a shot. Am afraid this will eventually drive us apart. Thoughts? Do I end it now before it gets even deeper?

My husband literally spends every waking hour on his phone. He has gotten to the point where he checks his phone in between traffic light signals and I have to take it away like he's a child. I much rather he game than doomscroll his way to oblivion. I notice he cannot finish a sentence without pausing as well. Granted English is his second language but still. It is ridiculous! I used to get really upset that the first thing he does when he wakes up is to check his phone instead of snuggle up to me but I have given up now. I don't even bother turning his side now. He even has to scroll while watching TV it's ridiculous he can't even watch TV without scrolling. Is he going through some kind of stress or depression this is absolutely not normal and it wasn't like this before reels became a thing. I am honestly growing resentful and contempt. Urgh! Only married 3 years together for 10 this is ridiculous

Let me know how life feels for you, and if you have any regrets? Do you feel like you "grew up" when you had your first kid? Do you regret not having them?