u/Consistent-Window197

Like I’ve been feeling depressed and sad like as long as I could remember or at least since 7th grade, since and I feel or felt like I find some sort of comfort in it. I don’t know how to get better and I just wanna be OK, and I just wanna be happy sometimes but I don’t know how to right now. I just feel so lost I mean I’m 19 turning 20 and I haven’t done anything with my life barely graduated high school. I was bad mentally the whole time I missed like like more than half of my senior year. I’m just getting annoyed of being so sad. I try medication doesn’t seem to help too much or just make me feel numb. I mean, I just don’t know what to do. I didn’t go to dances or go to any games and missed out completely on the “highschool experience”
I lost 95% of my friends myself because of mental health. I tried to kill myself once after my bully of a brother beat me up, nocked me out and gave me a bad concussion (my 6th one), Some of this emptiness feeling, might be due to the concussions I’ve had. But I don’t know. The one relationship I had that was going good just failed because of my mental health and just got fired from my job because I couldn’t make it in some days. I just wanna feel better.
I end up just being mean and distant to the people I love
I struggle with insomnia, headaches depression anxiety adhd like what more do I need
I can’t find a reason to keep trying and that makes all this struggle worth it
Idk
Sorry, I’m just ranting

So a little backstory I got three concussions between ages 11 and 15 all then the last one at 15 was a hit to the back of the head in football coach put me back in and I got hit again. It was a scrimmage. My abusive older brother beat me up bad one day punches to the back of the head, and gave me another one at 17-18 so 4 documented ones, most likely more though. I used to love sports I played football wrestling soccer everything. I quit everything my freshman year. I am now 19 turning 20 in April.

I missed over 40 percent of my senior year. No one understands. And I miss work all the time due to headaches and other symptoms

Life the past 5 years has been honestly super challenging I have been depressed suffering from worsened, anxiety, very bad headaches, brain frog, slower processing speed, sleep issues: like insomnia, and sleep apnea. vision problems: blurry vision. Severe nausea. I almost committed a couple times because there has been no hope.

Headaches and other symptoms get worse by noise light overstimulation, being stressed annoyed or anxious

I find it very difficult to be happy I feel so lost and I feel like people think I’m just a loser and dumb no one gets it.

I want to know how to get better. I have tried medication for anxiety and depression. Dry needling. Chiropractor. Nothing seems to help. I want to be and feel better.

Please someone help me
Thanks