u/Consistent_State5128

I just want to get this off my chest because I want to sleep peacefully, and this has been bothering me since yesterday.
For context, an orgmate whom I'm very close to—or at least I thought I was—recently had his sablay 🌻 moment. Since he couldn't find any transient accommodations, he asked if he could stay at my place because I live alone and I was actually out of town for my internship. The circumstances were perfect, so I gladly let him stay. At first, everything was okay.

Then Friday came. I let him know that I'd be back around Friday midnight to early Saturday morning. He told me that his girlfriend would also be staying over that Friday night. I was even rooting for them to spend quality time together since it had been a long time since they had gotten intimate (in a wholesome way), so I adjusted my own plans and decided to take the 4 or 5 a.m. bus instead just so they could have more time alone.
When I finally arrived, even though they had left the key outside, I couldn't get in because his girlfriend had double-locked the door from the inside. I had to call him, and thankfully he woke up and opened the door for me. But when I entered—oh my God—it was a mess. Yes, I understand it was a hectic time for him because he was busy attending ceremonies and testimonials, but I honestly didn't expect that. I always thought he was a clean and organized person. I tried to let it slide because I figured it was normal during graduation week.

Then I saw something that genuinely shocked me. Near the sink was my mug—the one I always use—and he had turned it into a mini vase for the sunflower that I assume his girlfriend had given him. I don't know, but it just felt wrong to me. Once again, I shrugged it off.

They eventually got ready for the university graduation. His girlfriend is already an alumna, and while she did exchange a few words with me, it was just small talk and nothing more.
Later that night, after the graduation, he came back while I was finishing something related to my practicum. He knew I was trying to focus, but his girlfriend called him and started ranting about something. He didn't even bother lowering the volume or using his AirPods. The call stayed on loudspeaker the entire time. I even took my own AirPods out as a subtle gesture that I was getting irritated, hoping he'd get the hint. He apologized, but he didn't actually do anything to change the situation. By that point, I was already annoyed and honestly started feeling off about everything.
For additional context, I was the one sleeping on the mattress on the floor because that's the setup I use whenever I have visitors. I even let them use my plushies to make their stay more comfortable. I also ordered dinner for us through my phone, and I think he may have forgotten to pay me back for his meal.
Our arrangement from the beginning was that he didn't have to pay for staying at my place. I willingly let him crash there for several days for free because I genuinely thought he was a keeper and wanted to help him during such an important milestone in his life. As a token of appreciation, he invited me to join his family for lunch and paid for my food. I accepted that as his way of paying me back.
However, I eventually realized that even people who stay at Airbnbs often have more manners and etiquette than he did. He didn't clean my place before leaving. He didn't throw out the trash. The only thing he mentioned doing was scrubbing my mug thoroughly. That was it.

What really pissed me off happened before they left. He wanted me to help carry his belongings down to their car. I was literally in the middle of doing my makeup, but he still insisted that I carry some of his things. Even the flowers. The funny thing is, he clearly had enough time to go back upstairs himself to get the flowers while I was still getting ready, but instead, he waited for me to finish and expected me to carry them down. After that, he expected me to just get into the car where he and his family were already waiting.
Like... what the fuck?

My mom, who pays for my apartment, doesn't even know I let someone stay there because I knew she would've never allowed it. Looking back now, I finally understand where she was coming from. I probably should've listened to her.

Am I the asshole for feeling this resentment toward him?
And one last thing: he didn't even remember the donuts I gave him. I'm not expecting some grand expression of gratitude, but all I really wanted was for him to feel how genuinely happy I was for him and his achievement. Instead, it felt like he didn't even want to accept them. He even asked whether the donuts were from me or from his girlfriend. For context, I had actually asked his girlfriend beforehand if she knew his favorite flavor. Ironically, I don't think she knew either because she had to ask him herself.

Maybe these are all just small things individually, but when I put everything together—the lack of consideration, the entitlement, the mess, the expectation that I'd continue accommodating him even after everything I'd already done for him—it left me feeling disappointed, unappreciated, and honestly resentful toward someone I truly considered a close friend.

To top it all off, I let him disturb the peace and quiet that I had intentionally created for myself. I've actually been taking a break from people, especially interacting with them in real life, because I've been trying to detach and recharge. I was ignoring almost everyone during that time. The only reason I replied was because he reached out asking for this favor, and I made an exception for him because I genuinely cared about him. He knew I was on a break and that I needed space, yet I still opened my home to him and accommodated him despite where I was mentally and emotionally.

I recently let one of my orgmates, whom I considered a close friend, stay at my apartment for several days because he couldn't find transient accommodation for his graduation. Since I was away for my internship, I gladly offered him my place for free. Before I came back, he mentioned that his girlfriend would also be staying over on Friday night, so I even adjusted my travel plans and took the earliest bus home just so they could have more time together. When I finally arrived, I couldn't get in because the door had been double-locked, even though they had left the key outside. After calling him to open the door, I walked into a place that was in complete disarray. I understood that graduation week was hectic, so I initially brushed it off, but I was taken aback when I saw that my personal mug—the one I always use—had been turned into a vase for the sunflower his girlfriend had given him. It just didn't sit right with me, although I chose to let it go.

Throughout their stay, I also felt increasingly uncomfortable with how inconsiderate things became. His girlfriend barely acknowledged me beyond brief small talk, and during one evening when I was rushing to finish practicum-related work, he took a loud phone call from her on speaker while she vented about something. Even after noticing that I was distracted and visibly annoyed, he only apologized without actually lowering the volume or using his AirPods. I had already gone out of my way to make them comfortable—I slept on a mattress on the floor so they could use my bed, lent them my plushies, and even ordered dinner through my phone, which he may have forgotten to pay me back for.

Our agreement was that he wouldn't pay for staying at my place since I genuinely wanted to help him. As a gesture of appreciation, he later invited me to lunch with his family and paid for my meal, and I accepted that as enough. However, I couldn't ignore how little care he showed for my apartment. He didn't clean up after himself, take out the trash, or restore the place to how he found it. Aside from washing my mug, he essentially left everything for me to deal with. What upset me even more was that before leaving, while I was still doing my makeup, he insisted that I help carry his belongings—including the flowers—down to his family's car. Instead of taking another trip upstairs himself, he simply waited for me to finish and expected me to carry everything before joining them in the car.

Looking back, I realized how one-sided the entire situation felt. My own mother, who pays for my apartment, didn't even know I had allowed someone to stay there because I knew she would have disapproved, and now I understand why. On top of everything, I gave him donuts to celebrate his graduation, but he barely acknowledged the gesture. I wasn't expecting a grand display of gratitude—I simply wanted him to appreciate that I was genuinely happy for him. He even asked whether the donuts were from me or from his girlfriend, despite the fact that I had gone through the effort of asking her beforehand about his favorite flavor. All these small moments accumulated, leaving me feeling resentful and wondering whether I was wrong for expecting basic courtesy, gratitude, and respect from someone I considered a close friend.

akala ko makakaya ko i-distract sarili ko with my uni ganap this break. pero ang daming random moments sa isang araw na bigla bigla na lang ako magrerelapse and mapapaisip talaga e. like back and forth sa i know my worth to what ifs, tas balik na naman sa di ako dapat magfocus sa potential ng isang tao/sa imaginary scenarios and instead sa reality.
for context, i had a “fubu” idk tbh kung anong itatawag kasi tinanong ko sya ano kami tas sabi nya idk. jusq kung wala lang naman pala lahat ng mixed signals at pa sweet mo andali dali sabihing fubu.

for context:
i (M 21) met a guy in his late 20s on Grindr. what started as a purely sexual arrangement gradually became something that felt much deeper. we began sharing personal and vulnerable parts of our lives, going out to restaurants, giving me gifts, updating each other about our days and sending pics to each other, sending tiktoks about what couples do like travel and explore places jusq and spending time together in ways that felt more intimate than casual. when he went abroad for a conference, we FaceTimed every night. he also drew my fav animal on the freedom board and took a selfie with it and sent it to me. and when he came back, he brought me souvenirs that reflected how well he knew me. we had wholesome movie nights, matching phone cases featuring my favorite animal, and countless small moments that made me feel like there was something meaningful growing between us. although none of it was ever explicitly defined, his actions often made me think we had moved beyond being just hookups. he even drove me to a far away coffee shop just to satisfy my cravings. held my hand in his car otw home. like i really felt something in all of our makeout sesh, like wtf. and when it’s time for him to leave my apartment, he would always go back to bed and we would cuddle a lil bit more, tangina.

one night, while we were cuddling, i finally asked him what exactly we were doing and whether we were dating or just friends with benefits. he simply said he didn’t know, and we never revisited the conversation. things continued as usual until our communication suddenly became distant. i even intentionally reposted and captioned tiktok videos pertaining to blurry lines when it comes to situationships. after a period of silence, i asked if we could talk during one of our usual evening walks, but the entire walk was painfully quiet. he barely spoke, avoided eye contact, and it felt like he already knew what I wanted to discuss. afterward, he messaged me saying, “I’m so sorry, don’t worry, I won’t bother you anymore.” looking back, that silence may have been the clearest answer i ever got, yet i still struggle to reconcile it with everything we shared before. what hurts most is not that he didn’t commit or put a label on us—it’s that i was left without clarity. all i ever wanted was an honest answer about what we were and what any of it meant to him.

ALSO FUCK HIM FOR MAKING ME REMEMBER HIM THRU MY FAV ANIMAL, LIKE IT’S MY PHONE AND LAPTOP WALLPAPER, AND MY FYP CONTENT. like this animal is my safe space and i really adore it. fuck him for treating it as something so special to him as well.

Hello po. I will be taking units in UPD this midyear, and I’m from a different campus. Manggagaling ako sa jeep terminal sa baba ng katip flyover.

Anong jeep ang dapat kong sakyan pag need ko makababa sa tapat ng UP Department of Art Studies? And like pede bang bumaba sa mismong tapat nya?

Thank you po!

I am already experienced when it comes to working out, but I’m a new AF member. They told me when i was about to enroll, that my goals and body would be assessed. I think I only got the assessment, mostly goals, during the contract signing so by paper only. I seemed to notice others get physically assessed using an equipment, I think it’s called Evolt scan. I want to have the same assessment, I just wanna know my body composition literally. I don’t need coaching and help with my workout in general. And I also don’t intend to avail having an instructor.

What do i tell them?

I (M21) met a guy in his late 20s. I generally prefer those older than me, and I even dated a guy in his mid-30s before.
This guy in his late 20s—I met him on Grindr. At first, it was all just fun. We would just hit each other up whenever we wanted to do the deed. Then only on the third time did we actually learn each other's names. As time went by, we shared deep and personal things with each other. It turned into something casual.
The funny thing is that at the start, he even asked if I'd be down for a threesome with some random guy. Then, as time progressed, it seemed that we both only wanted to meet each other (though no verbal agreement was ever made). There was just this notion. I actually asked him jokingly one time and reminded him of that threesome question, and he immediately dismissed it and said that was only before.
Now I'm confused because our actions seemed to go beyond a purely physical arrangement, but whenever I tried to get clarity about what we were, I never got a concrete answer. Things eventually became awkward and distant, and now I'm stuck wondering whether there was actually something there or if I was reading too much into it.

Along the way, we went on dates (if you can call them dates). He took me to a fancy restaurant, bought me desserts i like, and I would treat him back in my own ways since he's already working and I'm still a college student.
We would update each other about our days by sending pictures of whatever was keeping us going. When he went abroad for a conference for a week, we FaceTimed every single night. When he came back, he brought me gifts—stickers and a bag charm of my favorite animal. He even drew my favorite animal on the freedom board at the conference because he knows how much I like it.
Towards the end, he also got a phone case of my favorite animal, and afterward we ended up having matching phone cases. We had a movie night or two in my apartment, where they were just wholesome no sex or whatever, we even did kissing every time [something] comes up in the movie. This might sound trivial or meaningless, but I don't know—it felt like it meant something. Maybe I'm overanalyzing everything, but that's genuinely how I feel.
There was also one night when we were cuddling and I became vulnerable. I opened up about things that were very personal to me. That's when I asked:
"What is this that we're doing?"
"Are we dating? FUBU?"
He just said:
"I don't know."
I dropped the topic and we just continued going with the flow.
Then one day, I ignored him for the whole day. I've done this before when we were just starting, but this time our conversations suddenly became quiet. He didn't bother sending more messages after his last ones (to be fair, they were mostly just Instagram reels).
Eventually, I broke the silence and asked if we could talk. We usually go on evening walks, so we agreed to talk while walking.
It was pure silence.
I was staring at the pavement while he kept looking straight ahead. Whenever I tried to start a conversation, we'd only exchange one-liners. He couldn't even look me in the eyes.
I just knew he knew what I wanted to talk about. I'd been reposting TikToks with captions about wanting clarity. That walk honestly felt like it already gave me the answer I was looking for.
But when I look back at everything that happened before—the gifts, the FaceTimes, the dates, the daily updates—I can't help but think there was something there.
After the walk, he messaged me:
"I'm so sorry. Don't worry, I won't bother you anymore."

I told myself I wouldn't message him after that.
But I couldn't stop thinking about how that apology felt like a way of avoiding accountability and clarity rather than actually addressing anything.
I ended up sending a long message—basically an essay—asking for answers. I hate that I had to do that.
The thing is, I don't even want him to commit, put a label on things, or start a relationship if he doesn't want one.
All I want is clarity.
Since then, I've been stuck in a loop. I keep sending messages asking questions because I want my mind to finally rest.
I don't know if continuing to do this is helping or making things worse.
I need advice. :'))

I’m a new AF member in a newly opened branch near me. I also got my keyfob already, but it’s not still activated pala, thus can’t workout to other branches. The management said they’ll activate our keyfobs once the branch opens again. Can I not really workout sa ibang branches?

Also newbie questions:
- if i wanna shower sa AF what to bring?
- mayroon bang gym mats talaga or i have to bring my own
- meron bang pang-assess ng current body physique or may bayad yun? when i first visited the branch sabi may assessment tas wala
naman ginawa saken after ko mag fill out ng forms
- yung lockers ba any any lang?

++ they said the # of days the branch is closed will be deducted from our payment but i need my keyfob activated since i’ll be staying in manila (im from laguna) for the next month, kaya need ko makapaggym rin sa ibang branches