u/Consistent_Time_1467

Kind of what the post says. I had to stop coming in early June due to an injury, and I had to have a month long rest period. Then, I threw my neck out so bad I couldn’t turn it.

I’m finallllllllly getting better and am coming back next week but I feel like I have zero motivation? The thought of doing my usual 5:45 classes annoys me because I hate losing my nights. I wish I were a morning person, but I unfortunately have never been able to make myself a morning person after trying for years.

Does anyone have any motivation tips?

Are these two still friends? Jami comes across my FYP every once in a while and it seems like her “single friend etiquette” started being a series once Anna stopped appearing in her videos

Did Anna’s friend who I is trying to be an influencer go on ozempic? Like does anyone have any tea?

I think she’s genuinely gorgeous and always has been but she’s gotten SO thin

TW: SA/Rape

This is phenomenally embarrassing but I was unsure where to post about this.

Several years ago I was dating someone as a “rebound” from a very abusive relationship. I’ve been sexually abused in the past but the situation I’m about to tell is very different and damaging in another way. At the time, I was drinking a decent amount on weekends, but no differently from my other friends who were also 22 at the time.

I began dating someone who was 10 years older than me, and it was going great. He seemed awesome at first. We waited a while to do anything sexual. When we finally did, we frequently would have sex but he was very much my boyfriend. One night, we went out to a martini bar and I had a martini and was feeling it. He ordered me a second one, and then I finished it and was REALLY feeling drunk, but also anxious. I take Klonopin for my anxiety, and I was told not to mix, but again, I was drunk. He suggested I take one “to calm down” and so I did. I wanted to enjoy the night but I also know now I was not thinking clearly. What happened next has recently been brought to my attention as what my friends and therapist describe as “rape”.

I don’t remember leaving the bar, and I don’t remember anything but driving down a road with him. I know we ended up at his house but I have no recollection of arriving there. We started having sex and I remember him saying it would be “hot to record it” and he started to do that and I don’t remember anything else. This is where the night goes black. I don’t even remember sobering up and getting home. I never would have told him yes if I’d been sober. I remember when we would be having sex sober and he would ask, I would adamantly say no. When I was 15 I was recorded changing in the locker room at school, and have had extreme trust issues with video since then, so anyone who knows me KNOWS I never would have consented to this with a clear brain.

A couple of days later, he sent me a video of myself in a position I don’t remember being in, and I definitely didn’t consent to being taken. I told him I was upset by it and he said “it was the same night and you’d already said yes” and I said “I didn’t say yes to continued recording?” And he made it a huge thing.

Long story short, after we broke up, my friend who was the only one who knew about this because it never sat right with me, encouraged me to reach out to him to discuss the video. I did, and he started cursing me out, calling me names, and he sent me a screen recording of a folder FULL of women being recorded having sec from behind and it was clear they were either inebriated or unaware they were being recorded. I was in the folder.

I got him to delete the video and delete it from his deleted folder by calling him and begging.

I have been having a lot of issues lately since I’ve seen this man posted in a group and a woman commenting saying he’d corner her in his hallway at his apartment complex and show her videos of women “who clearly didn’t know they were being filmed”.

It’s brought up a lot of feelings and I don’t know how to handle it. I personally have struggled with guilt from it, and was told by two “therapists” I was “stupid to put myself in a position for this to happen”. But my friends and CURRENT therapist said this is clear and blatant sexual assault/rape because I was too inebriated to consent. Also, I have not drank in 1.5 years, if anyone was curious.

Can someone give me advice or help? I’ve been struggling. It’s been 5 years and I’m married now, and my husband knows and is very team “you were raped”. I have always had delayed reactions to things and this apparently is no different. On some days it hits me, and some days it doesn’t bother me. But I see the effects of it coming out more all the time. I don’t have sex without my shirt on, I won’t let phones be anywhere near me and I get weird when anyone even records me or friends when we get together in groups.

\- is there anything I can do now?

\- How do I cope?

\- Was this rape? How do I define this? Is there a way I can alert other women?

TW: SA/Rape

This is phenomenally embarrassing but I was unsure where to post about this.

Several years ago I was dating someone as a “rebound” from a very abusive relationship. I’ve been sexually abused in the past but the situation I’m about to tell is very different and damaging in another way. At the time, I was drinking a decent amount on weekends, but no differently from my other friends who were also 22 at the time.

I began dating someone who was 10 years older than me, and it was going great. He seemed awesome at first. We waited a while to do anything sexual. When we finally did, we frequently would have sex but he was very much my boyfriend. One night, we went out to a martini bar and I had a martini and was feeling it. He ordered me a second one, and then I finished it and was REALLY feeling drunk, but also anxious. I take Klonopin for my anxiety, and I was told not to mix, but again, I was drunk. He suggested I take one “to calm down” and so I did. I wanted to enjoy the night but I also know now I was not thinking clearly. What happened next has recently been brought to my attention as what my friends and therapist describe as “rape”.

I don’t remember leaving the bar, and I don’t remember anything but driving down a road with him. I know we ended up at his house but I have no recollection of arriving there. We started having sex and I remember him saying it would be “hot to record it” and he started to do that and I don’t remember anything else. This is where the night goes black. I don’t even remember sobering up and getting home. I never would have told him yes if I’d been sober. I remember when we would be having sex sober and he would ask, I would adamantly say no. When I was 15 I was recorded changing in the locker room at school, and have had extreme trust issues with video since then, so anyone who knows me KNOWS I never would have consented to this with a clear brain.

A couple of days later, he sent me a video of myself in a position I don’t remember being in, and I definitely didn’t consent to being taken. I told him I was upset by it and he said “it was the same night and you’d already said yes” and I said “I didn’t say yes to continued recording?” And he made it a huge thing.

Long story short, after we broke up, my friend who was the only one who knew about this because it never sat right with me, encouraged me to reach out to him to discuss the video. I did, and he started cursing me out, calling me names, and he sent me a screen recording of a folder FULL of women being recorded having sec from behind and it was clear they were either inebriated or unaware they were being recorded. I was in the folder.

I got him to delete the video and delete it from his deleted folder by calling him and begging.

I have been having a lot of issues lately since I’ve seen this man posted in a group and a woman commenting saying he’d corner her in his hallway at his apartment complex and show her videos of women “who clearly didn’t know they were being filmed”.

It’s brought up a lot of feelings and I don’t know how to handle it. I personally have struggled with guilt from it, and was told by two “therapists” I was “stupid to put myself in a position for this to happen”. But my friends and CURRENT therapist said this is clear and blatant sexual assault/rape because I was too inebriated to consent. Also, I have not drank in 1.5 years, if anyone was curious.

Can someone give me advice or help? I’ve been struggling. It’s been 5 years and I’m married now, and my husband knows and is very team “you were raped”. I have always had delayed reactions to things and this apparently is no different. On some days it hits me, and some days it doesn’t bother me. But I see the effects of it coming out more all the time. I don’t have sex without my shirt on, I won’t let phones be anywhere near me and I get weird when anyone even records me or friends when we get together in groups.

- is there anything I can do now?

- How do I cope?

- Was this rape? How do I define this? Is there a way I can alert other women?

Ok genuinely unsure if this belongs here but I see so many influencers/celebs go to dogpound and I’m curious if anyone has gone that’s “normal” lmfao.

I heard it’s HELLA expensive and harder to get into than the Alo gym apparently

I’m 30F and am trying to see what everyone eats after a workout.

I try to get at least 20 splats per class and I go 4x (sometimes more) per week. I know the trackers aren’t super accurate, but I average about 500 cals burned a class.

What do you eat after working out to stay in a deficit? I always am hungriest at night, and lately have been making my own green juice and eating a cup of cottage cheese with ranch seasoning on it.

I loooooooved Sharp Objects and adore Gillian’s work. I have read all of it so far.

If someone could suggest any thrillers very similar to Flynn’s work that would be amazing. I love really dark, twisty, psychological crime thrillers. Sharp Objects was by far my favorite of her novels.

Hi gang!

NOT ASKING FOR MEDICAL ADVICE.

I have shitty knees, always have. My knee pain is flaring up under the kneecap again, and I am doing two 2G classes this weekend.

Anyone who also suffers from knee pain - what do you do on days that there are squats or lunges involved? Do you tell your coach and they give you modifications?

Thanks!

I have read a slew of terrible books recently. Like, so bad. I hated, HATED, the new Lisa Jewell. I read that horror novel Diavola and truly lost brain cells. Can you suggest me similar books to the ones I enjoyed below?

I love historical fiction. Pretty much any facet but I looooove Maggie O’Farrell’s work and I am a WWII historian so I love that time period but am open to anything.

- The Marriage Portrait, Hamnet both by Maggie O’Farrell

- The Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly

- The Last Twilight In Paris by Pam Jenoff

- The Director by Daniel Kehlmann

- One Good Thing by Georgia Hunter

I love women’s contemporary fiction:

- Tom Lake, Ann Patchett

- 7 Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (was ok but I did enjoy)

- The Wedding People

- Normal People by Sally Rooney (hated Beautiful World Where Are You, though)

Thriller

- Sharp Object by Gillian Flynn. LOVED.

- We Used to Live Here. Devoured this.

- What Happened to Nina? By Dervla McTiernan

- none of this is true by Lisa Jewell

Nonfiction

- 12 Years a Slave by Solomon Northup

- How the Word is Passed by Clint Smith

- Anything WWII or Holocaust Related

- We Wish To Inform you Tomorrow You Will Be Killed Along with Your Fammilies by Phillip Gourevitch

- the Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien

Just got married and have 2 narc parents. Here is how it went:

I’m 30F and got married Friday. Yay! After a 16 month long engagement and two narcissistic parents and a narc family dynamic, I made it through.

Here’s what went wrong because of them that day:

\- my mother threw a fit the day before our wedding because I wasn’t going to spend the night with her before the wedding. A true fit. Saying “every daughter would want this with their mother.” I’m 30. She carried on like this not only the day before the wedding but WEEKS before.

\- told me the night before my wedding she feels unhappy j was marrying my husband because she felt he’d done nothing to prove himself to them (despite spending every damn occasion there and spending more time with them than with his own family)

\- spent the entire rehearsal dinner acting either violently like someone had killed her entire family and fake nice with everyone. She was taking photos of EVERYONE on her phone all night and interrupting conversations.

\- she threw a fit that I wouldn’t let her be apart of the “bridal party getting ready squad” the morning of my wedding so I said she could come at 10am. She showed up at 8:45 so I got zero girl time with my bridesmaids.

\- during the time she was there, she wouldn’t shut up. I couldn’t hear anything but my mother talk the entire morning about how her hair used to be so gorgeous; her eyelashes fell out because of a staph infection and they used to be SO BEAUTIFUL; her career (she hasn’t worked in 30 years)

\- she brought her friend who is the mom of one of my bridesmaids to “take candids” the morning of and the makeup artist had to tell them to get out of the way because they were blocking the light

\- she needed to be in damn near every photo with me. “I want to get a photo of me putting the ring on your hand!” “Holding your train!” You name it. She inserted herself in it.

\- she made me late to our first look because of all of these ridiculous pictures and the photographer had to lock her out of the room.

\- she told the makeup artists she’d pay for my friends then once the cost got high enough she cornered me to “figure it out” and “pay the $1800” because she couldn’t afford it. So I was also late due to this.

\- when it came time to sign our marriage license she stood in the room and watched when she had literally no reason to. The planners couldn’t contain her.

\- before I walked down the aisle she said “it has been my honor to be your mother have a good life” and started sobbing and walking away

\- she told everyone she was making a speech. Then cancelled the speech. Then said she was actually making one. Then the planner said she didn’t have the option to anymore and she threw a fit.

\- during speeches she just frowned and looked disgusted

\- she screamed at our DJ because he “cut the father daughter dance to 1.5 minutes” and that’s exactly what we’d told the DJ to do.

\- she held a morning after brunch for guests and didn’t include any of my husbands family or bridesmaids, so it was just her family. When I told her this was rude she said “can’t I ever just have ANYTHING!”

\- during my dads speech she rewrote the ending and said “don’t be a stranger, you can come over any time, we’re not the enemy” and the room went SILENT

\- when I asked her if she could return the extensions to the makeup and hair person because I actually work a full time job, she said she couldn’t. She had meetings. My mom doesn’t work.

Anyways, tap in with your thoughts. And don’t be like me. Cut your parents OFF.

Anyway… this was it! Tap in your thoughts, and cut your parents off 💜

I’m 30F and got married Friday. Yay! After a 16 month long engagement and two narcissistic parents and a narc family dynamic, I made it through.

Here’s what went wrong because of them that day:

- my mother threw a fit the day before our wedding because I wasn’t going to spend the night with her before the wedding. A true fit. Saying “every daughter would want this with their mother.” I’m 30. She carried on like this not only the day before the wedding but WEEKS before.

- told me the night before my wedding she feels unhappy j was marrying my husband because she felt he’d done nothing to prove himself to them (despite spending every damn occasion there and spending more time with them than with his own family)

- spent the entire rehearsal dinner acting either violently like someone had killed her entire family and fake nice with everyone. She was taking photos of EVERYONE on her phone all night and interrupting conversations.

- she threw a fit that I wouldn’t let her be apart of the “bridal party getting ready squad” the morning of my wedding so I said she could come at 10am. She showed up at 8:45 so I got zero girl time with my bridesmaids.

- during the time she was there, she wouldn’t shut up. I couldn’t hear anything but my mother talk the entire morning about how her hair used to be so gorgeous; her eyelashes fell out because of a staph infection and they used to be SO BEAUTIFUL; her career (she hasn’t worked in 30 years)

- she brought her friend who is the mom of one of my bridesmaids to “take candids” the morning of and the makeup artist had to tell them to get out of the way because they were blocking the light

- she needed to be in damn near every photo with me. “I want to get a photo of me putting the ring on your hand!” “Holding your train!” You name it. She inserted herself in it.

- she made me late to our first look because of all of these ridiculous pictures and the photographer had to lock her out of the room.

- she told the makeup artists she’d pay for my friends then once the cost got high enough she cornered me to “figure it out” and “pay the $1800” because she couldn’t afford it. So I was also late due to this.

- when it came time to sign our marriage license she stood in the room and watched when she had literally no reason to. The planners couldn’t contain her.

- before I walked down the aisle she said “it has been my honor to be your mother have a good life” and started sobbing and walking away

- she told everyone she was making a speech. Then cancelled the speech. Then said she was actually making one. Then the planner said she didn’t have the option to anymore and she threw a fit.

- during speeches she just frowned and looked disgusted

- she screamed at our DJ because he “cut the father daughter dance to 1.5 minutes” and that’s exactly what we’d told the DJ to do.

- she held a morning after brunch for guests and didn’t include any of my husbands family or bridesmaids, so it was just her family. When I told her this was rude she said “can’t I ever just have ANYTHING!”

- during my dads speech she rewrote the ending and said “don’t be a stranger, you can come over any time, we’re not the enemy” and the room went SILENT

- when I asked her if she could return the extensions to the makeup and hair person because I actually work a full time job, she said she couldn’t. She had meetings. My mom doesn’t work.

Anyways, tap in with your thoughts. And don’t be like me. Cut your parents OFF.

Anyway… this was it! Tap in your thoughts, and cut your parents off 💜