Over the past few years, I’ve gone through a lot of emotional stress and loss. During the quarantine period, I lost two important people in my life my grandmother and my father figure (my uncle who raised and supported me). His death hit me hard, especially he had regrets and left behind a adopted young child (2 years old). I've been living with them for my whole life. My biological parents was on abroad and didn't have time to takecare of me when I was convinced but supported me half of my life, they decided to cut of allowance after I've decided to live with my uncle and aunt (they don't remember but it's etched into me for life). I was originally raised by my grandparents which now unfortunately are nolonger with us. I lost my grandfather 18 years ago, grandmother 3 years ago and my father figure uncle 2 years ago. I've a lot to think about, but this uncle of mine adds problem, despite him being a collage graduate and successful he is throwing his problem at us relying financially making a mule out of us. He is a parasite. (he is 50 years old, narcissist, intelligence and talent put into wrong places)
After my father figure uncle passed away, my life at home changed for the worse. Another uncle, who had been mostly absent from my life for years, suddenly came back and started living with us. Since then, I’ve been dealing with his toxic behavior every day. He acts entitled to our home, even though he was never really there before, and he emotionally hurts the people I care about especially my aunt, who is like a mother to me.
Living in the same place as him has made it impossible for me to feel at peace. I’ve seen him make my aunt cry, create conflict, and act controlling and manipulative. There was even a point where he threw our belongings outside over something small, which made me feel unsafe and angry.
Because of this constant tension, my mental health has been seriously affected. I struggled to focus on my internship for an entire year, and I feel like he’s been slowly ruining my stability and growth. I’ve developed a lot of anger toward him sometimes even wishing he would disappear but at the same time, I feel conflicted because he has a child he left from far away and still loves him despite his absence. I can't commit to hurt the guy, but I despise him with all my heart.
I feel stuck. I can’t avoid him because we live under the same roof, and I can’t leave because of my late uncle’s wish for us to stay. Every day feels like I’m forced to endure someone who brings stress, negativity, and emotional harm into my life.
To add salt to the wound, he never pays bill, he always gets allawance from MY biological father (I don't but I never complained). And he still acts like a devil like own the place for himself. It's a common land owned by him and his siblings but he doesn't have the rights to treat us and our stuff like it's his. I live in philippines, I've had this pent up for 5 years now. It's unbearable.
FYI, I can't afford therapy. It's not common in our country it's really expensive and I don't job or money. I'm focusing on my medical board exam but can't because of him. I can't go far also because I don't have money to spend. I don't want to be a further burden.