u/ContributionKind4642

Maybe this makes me just as bad as him, but I spit on my husbands clothes while he’s not home to get back at him for being emotionally abusive to me. Sometimes I also dip his toothbrush in our toilet. Another time, we had a huge fight and he slammed his hands so hard onto the computer keyboard the pieces went flying and then he stormed out of the house. I purposefully broke his space bar piece in half and put it back so he would think he did it. He’s controlling manipulative and emotionally abusive to me and I can’t escape bc I’m a foreigner in his native country and we have kids. If I try to leave he’ll fight me for custody and most likely win. So I do these things bc I can’t talk back to him or have a rational conversation where he accepts that he was at fault for anything. It’s my secret way of arguing back to him.

I’m currently rewatching and have a newfound “appreciation for Dr. Stark LOL. I use the word appreciation VERY loosely and taken with a grain of salt. Every time he’s on the screen I feel like he’s saying no to some ridiculous request the main cast asks for lol, which in a drama we would naturally hate him for, but now that I am older and rewatching the show I feel like I tend to agree with him 😂
Ofc if I was working under him in real life I’d hate him bc he’s blunt and a jerk, but he’s how I imagine someone in his position and his age would behave in real life. Am I wrong lol? Unpopular opinion??

I’m 2 months postpartum, my husbands job gave him 1 month of paternity leave that he can use all together or separate. He used 3 weeks right after birth, & we used the last week this week. Wednesday was our 3 year anniversary. Thursday afternoon he asks if he can go to practice golf with a buddy, he said it could take a couple hours. He initially asked to go at 6, but that’s dinner time, So then he suggested going right away since our 2 year old had just started her nap. I was still reluctant bc I wanted to spend the day/time with him.

context, my husband’s Korean & we live in Korea. Korean work culture is that you have to go to company dinners & stay late. My husband has 2-3 dinners a month where he won’t come home until 12 am. He goes to work at 6 am so the kids & I literally won’t see him until the next evening. He plays football every Friday night from 10-12 am, he goes downstairs to practice screen golf at 10-11pm every weekday, he sometimes has biz golf plans on Saturday or sundays where he will be gone from morning until 2-4 pm, & recently he started helping a coworker practice golf every other Sunday morning where he’ll be back home by 10-11am. He does all these things & I have no issues, he enjoys them & that makes me happy too. He’s home by 7-730, babies are asleep by 830, he video games 9-10, golf 10-11, and hang out with me after 11 until he falls asleep which is shortly after 11.

so yes I am a little clingy to my husband bc I love him & don’t get a lot of time together. I have no family here & haven’t seen my friends since I gave birth to keep sickness away from my baby. So when he asked me to use his paternity leave to go hang out with someone else instead of being with the family, I said no.. we talked calmly about the situation for a little then he said I was being selfish & why does he have to ask permission to do something he wants to do. His English is almost native level, but during arguments he can’t control his anger and will misspeak or misunderstand easily. He flipped out when I didn’t understand something he said, banged his controller on the desk, screamed at the top of his lungs & got in my face. He even screamed so hard he spat on me, & at one point pushed me down to the ground to get me out of the way.

Ofc his reaction is abusive, but I’m curious if I was wrong to say no even though the kids were sleeping and he wouldn’t be gone long. It’s now Friday evening and he sleeps in our older daughters bedroom since, stays in the game room all day, doesn’t look at me, and has barely spoken more than 2 words to me. I know already that I’m in some deep shit here, there’s just a lot of context missing that won’t fit in this post lol. I just need confirmation that I’m wrong or right in this situation. So… heavy I know.. haha.. so. AITA for saying no to my husband going to practice golf??

I’m 2 months postpartum, my husbands job gave him 1 month of paternity leave that he can use all together or separate. He used 3 weeks right after birth, & we used the last week this week. Wednesday was our 3 year anniversary. Thursday afternoon he asks if he can go to practice golf with a buddy, he said it could take a couple hours. He initially asked to go at 6, but that’s dinner time, So then he suggested going right away since our 2 year old had just started her nap. I was still reluctant bc I wanted to spend the day/time with him.

context, my husband’s Korean & we live in Korea. Korean work culture is that you have to go to company dinners & stay late. My husband has 2-3 dinners a month where he won’t come home until 12 am. He goes to work at 6 am so the kids & I literally won’t see him until the next evening. He plays football every Friday night from 10-12 am, he goes downstairs to practice screen golf at 10-11pm every weekday, he sometimes has biz golf plans on Saturday or sundays where he will be gone from morning until 2-4 pm, & recently he started helping a coworker practice golf every other Sunday morning where he’ll be back home by 10-11am. He does all these things & I have no issues, he enjoys them & that makes me happy too. He’s home by 7-730, babies are asleep by 830, he video games 9-10, golf 10-11, and hang out with me after 11 until he falls asleep which is shortly after 11.

so yes I am a little clingy to my husband bc I love him & don’t get a lot of time together. I have no family here & haven’t seen my friends since I gave birth to keep sickness away from my baby. So when he asked me to use his paternity leave to go hang out with someone else instead of being with the family, I said no.. we talked calmly about the situation for a little then he said I was being selfish & why does he have to ask permission to do something he wants to do. His English is almost native level, but during arguments he can’t control his anger and will misspeak or misunderstand easily. He flipped out when I didn’t understand something he said, banged his controller on the desk, screamed at the top of his lungs & got in my face. He even screamed so hard he spat on me, & at one point pushed me down to the ground to get me out of the way.

Ofc his reaction is abusive, but I’m curious if I was wrong to say no even though the kids were sleeping and he wouldn’t be gone long. It’s now Friday evening and he sleeps in our older daughters bedroom since, stays in the game room all day, doesn’t look at me, and has barely spoken more than 2 words to me. I know already that I’m in some deep shit here, there’s just a lot of context missing that won’t fit in this post lol. I just need confirmation that I’m wrong or right in this situation. So… heavy I know.. haha.. so. AITAH for saying no to my husband going to practice golf??