u/Creative-Pirate5217

Been gluten free for around 4 years now, ever since diagnosis. Haven't touched a crumb of gluten and haven't gotten glutened so far (I think, anyway). But I'm worried I'm missing some vitamins.

I was told by my doctor that I have osteopenia because I'm not absorbing enough vitamin D. I'm also noticing that my mind feels off. I'm a hobbyist writer, and recently, I feel like I can't even write a few lines. I've become unsociable and find it very difficult to text my friends. All I've really been able to do is play video games.

Just curious if anyone relates to this. Could this be vitamin D deficiency?

I was thinking of practicing animation a moment ago, and really tried to figure out what it was that I found unappealing about it that kept me from starting. I don't find the drawing part of animation unbearable. I'm not at a stage where my frames are complex enough to require a ton of time, and even when copying those that do, my fingers end up hurting before I get bored, so there's that. It's really the learning aspect that ruins it for me.

I want to be able to create now. It's the knowledge that so much has to be done to produce something in years to come is such a bad feeling. Making a video game sounds like a great idea, until you learn that a solo-developed indie game means learning to make art assets, music, code, animations, level design, NPCs and EVERYTHING else. Once you click that, you don't even want to try anymore. Its the same with music or writing or anything creative, really. The second the work comes in, the desire goes out.

I've booked an appointment with a therapist who specialises in ADHD, and I'm curious if they could help with this. What do you think? How do you actually manage to cope with the boring parts of a hobby or interest?

I've seen 3 different therapists so far, and each had different rates. The first was a short-term intervention service, so it was free but only lasted around 10 sessions before an 8 month waiting period until you could attend again. The next was €50 a session and I made more progress with them than my previous. The one after that was €70 a session and he seemed better than the one previous, but due to a lack of understanding neurodivergence, he pointed me in the direction of a AuDHD-informed therapist.

This particular therapist costs €150 per session. I honestly don't mind paying that much for therapy - although I will ask if he can lower it by any degree - but I'm worried about paying this much for an ineffective therapist. My longest relationship with a therapist was over a year, and we had a lot of issues. They had a habit of interrupting me, often while I was mid-rant which would lead to them veering off, pursuing the wrong issue, and we generally lost momentum all the time. Our sessions ended after considering it several times, only because we'd actually achieve something in the sessions were we supposed to wrap up. I really don't want to spend another year with someone who can't help me.

I'm here to ask if €150 is a good sign that this therapist is more qualified to help. My previous therapists didn't seem to have much understanding of AuDHD, but this man does. I feel like my AuDHD is the core of my issues, since I never liked to use it as an explanation - or an "excuse" - and instead blamed myself severely for things I couldn't control. I feel like his insight may offer an empathy and validation that I haven't had before.

What do you guys think? Is €150 a good sign that this therapist knows what he's doing?

I want to pursue animation, but whenever I think about how long, difficult and monotonous it will be before I can produce something half-decent, I just give up. This can happen before even taking out any of my equipment, or it can happen in the middle of drawing and its always really demoralising.

I struggle with failure, but I'm in therapy for that and I'm getting better with time. But it really is the journey that ruins any enthusiasm I have for learning.

If this is associated with ADHD, is there a way to fix it? Can meds help? Just any info is appreciated.

I'm currently editing my second draft, and its getting a little demoralising. The original draft was 9k words, and my 2nd draft now sits at 12k with 3 and a bit chapters edited. There's 8 chapters in total, and I'm struggling to fight the idea that my story just won't be long enough.

I try to push the perfectionist mindset out when writing, telling myself that it can all be fixed in post, but sometimes you write a line that's lazy or dialogue that feels bad and it can really take the wind out of your sails.

I know people say that the length of a story doesn't matter, but 12k is barely a novelette, and it doesn't feel like its supposed to be that length at all. I'm basically rewriting every chapter, because its easier than inserting lines into a base that I'm not happy with.

I'm not sure what I'm even asking for here. I suppose just any advice or support is appreciated. This is the most progress I've ever made on a book and its upsetting to feel like its unsalvageable.

I am not banking on becoming a super famous and successful author. I have a means of income and a home so any income from writing is purely a bonus.

That said, I'm curious just how much could be expected for an average author? I know its low enough that being a novelist is considered a bad idea if its your main source of income, but how much is it really?

I ask because using "I might get paid for this" is a hell of a lot more motivating than "people might like this". It strips the perfectionism away and helps me work towards producing an actual product. If I want validation, I can always show people my unfinished work. No one's going to pay for that.

I live outside the US, so maybe the market is different here than in America. What am I to expect?