
I was 4 years sober until that cursed night
I had just walked out of my alcohol recovery meeting, finally celebrating four years of proving I was more than the disappointing daughter and the unworthy partner I believed I was.
The atmosphere was warm and welcoming.
I was so lost in the moment that I didn’t realize it was already 2:30 AM.
A colleague offered me a ride, but his way was the opposite of mine, so I insisted on taking the subway.
The air was cold, and there was nothing making noise but the wind and the screeching of the metal fences.
I didn't feel comfortable.
My body refused to walk slowly; my movements were fast and tense.
When I reached the tunnel, I felt a sense of relief.
I entered, listening to the screeching wheels and the sound of heels approaching.
Then, I was face-to-face with a woman in her seventies or eighties, pulling a suitcase.
I greeted her kindly, telling her I would accompany her because it was too late to be alone.
She was friendly and very sweet, but she insisted on continuing alone, claiming her neighborhood was just around the corner.
As she moved away, something fell from her side pocket.
I couldn't see exactly what fell, but it was wrapped in plastic, damp, and cold.
I thought it was meat.
I followed her, determined to return it.
I caught up to her and tapped her shoulder.
She turned, smiling like a terrified child.
I held out what had fallen, but under the streetlights, I saw what I was holding.
My body went into a state of severe panic, and my legs began to shake violently.
The plastic bundle contained two severed human hands.
My body screamed one word: Run.
I ran as hard as I could to get away from that woman.
Fear didn't allow me to stop for half an hour.
I kept running until a car passed by.
I threw myself in front of it, almost crashing into it.
A man and a woman were inside.
I didn't wait for them to get out; I jumped in the back, screaming, "Please, I want my apartment, please!"
They tried to calm me down while I looked back, terrified that she had followed me.
They brought me to my apartment.
The wife offered to stay, but I didn't want to burden them or share what I had seen.
I didn't want to plant that terror in their hearts.
I locked all three deadbolts.
I went to the kitchen and prepared some Ashwagandha, as it always calms me down when the urge to drink hits.
I sat there thinking, but I couldn't find any answer.
I closed all the windows tightly.
I leaned against the bed, drinking the Ashwagandha until sleep took over.
I collapsed.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.
The knocking sound grew louder.
I wasn't fully conscious.
Then, the sound of the door opening.
I will never forget that chill I felt when I heard my apartment door open—like being shocked by a thousand volts of electricity.
I jumped up, looking at my open bedroom door.
My eyes filled with tears and my heart surrendered.
Her footsteps—slow, heavy, exhausted, dragging through the silence.
The door opened wider, until it was fully open.
She stepped in slowly, approached… and sat on the edge of the bed beside me.
"Why didn't you report me to the police?"
I couldn't answer.
My tongue was paralyzed, and my jaw was clenched so hard I thought my teeth would shatter.
"Anyway, I hope you don't," she said.
"But I can't trust you, my dear, with what you saw, given how afraid you were.
She looked at me with cold, dead eyes.
When she looked at me with that stillness, I knew my end had come.
There was no emotion, no empathy.
She approached my right hand and brought it to her face.
I didn't realize what she was doing until she opened her mouth and bit down, ripping my pinky finger off completely.
The pain was blinding.
I didn't move an inch—I felt that if I reacted, she would kill me.
She took out bandages and a small bottle of alcohol, cleaned my wound, and bandaged it.
She put my finger in her bag.
Tears ran down my face like a waterfall, she placed my head between her legs and sang a lullaby:
"Hush... hush... flower of the night.
The moon knows every name, but calls only the lost.
Don’t follow the light between the trees, and don’t answer the woman who smiles too much.
For some smiles hide ancient teeth.
Sleep until the day breaks, for the day does not remember what the night does."
After crying until my vision blurred in her lap and the pain of the wound almost broke me, I don’t know how I fell asleep that night.
At 10:00 AM, the room was clean, and she was gone.
I looked at my missing finger, wondering why she left me alive—why she didn't kill me or do to me what she did to the person in the suitcase.
On the kitchen table, there was a note with clear, steady words that made me realize why I survived:
"Be kind always, and realize that your kindness is what saved you tonight.
Your souvenir will always be with me.
And every time you look at your missing pinky, please remember that gossiping will cause you to lose more than this."
That day, my urge to drink alcohol was stronger than ever.