Could i be plural?
Hey First of my name is noodle, 24 yrs old. I've been feeling a long time urge to Sometimes reffer to myself with We/Us pronouns. This goes back at least a couple of years. It's not Something i always feel the urge but only Sometimes and mostly in online Spaces → tho i have captured myself also using it in rlf (which kind of embarreses me but anyway)
So i for a long time didn't understand myself. Even when i was a child. It felt Like there were multiple people in my head but not in a was that they can Talk or move for me (at least nothing i or anyone Else notices) but as i said i never realy understood myself especiallly not how i Act or think.
I recently learned about the term Polymind and i thought that i might be one but i'm Just Not Sure anymore. It's all realy confusing And i already lost track of what i actually wanted to write Here...
Anyway i don't know what it is. At Work i can easily multitask, communicate with people and focus Like its my entire Nature but when i'm not at work my mind can't stop rushing. Jumping from one thought to the next it can't focus no Matter how hard i try it can't see tasks that are connected to each other and always seems like in some sort of hyperaktive dreamstate aka MAD→ Maladaptive daydreaming. But Then there are also Moments where my mind suddenly goes completely blank and silent like there are no more thoughts whatsoever it feels close to dissociating but i'm still aware of myself. The worst of all is when i'm getting yelled at for Something i forgot to do when my mind was hyperactive because then my mind basically tells me that i'm useless and that i should end myself and all kinds of horrible stuff i don't even want to hear.
I don't know If i'm a polymind or maybe Something else or Just messed up from trauma or Something...it doesn't realy feel Like i have destinct Personalies/subpersonalitys or what it was called but i can feel that my mind is splitted into Segments and they all talk With me in a way...please help me...