u/CriGen5

Gambling is costing me everything. I am ready to work to quit at all costs. Any good resources or groups I can join to talk about it?

28M with a 28F wife and two kids 4 & 6. Been together since high school (10 years)

My wife went out on 7 PM Friday 8/14 with a girl friend to a karaoke bar down the road from our house. Left me with the kids and just told me she was doing it. When it was 10~ I saw her Life360 moving towards downtown area so I just asked wyd? She responded going downtown and was very short. Then turned her location off and I didn’t see her come back until 2AM. She also said we would get intimate when she came back home. Well me waiting up on her and making sure she was okay was an issue… also the fact that I still wanted her (it has been like 3 weeks since the last time so yeah I want my wife) anyways she hit me with she doesn’t know what she wants, and that she loves me and doesn’t want another woman to reap all the benefits of me changing…. She does this cycle occasionally every few months for the last few years and after it, it gets better for a couple months but I don’t want to live like this forever.

We sit down and talk about everything on Monday because she went back to her cousins house for the weekend while I had the kids here. Most of it is she is picking things that I’d see as small, but obv to her it isn’t.
- She said she just “WOKE UP” on Tuesday (last week) and she just knew that she didn’t know what she wanted
- She doesn’t feel safe or feel like she can talk to me because I always get defensive on when she is attacking me
- I play video games too much or need to wait until the kids go to bed
- I said or did something years ago
- I don’t do enough around the house (these last few days I’ve done everything, cooked, put the kids to bed, pick up and take them to school, dishes, laundry, the whole 9.
I also do a lot in general. I usually do the dishes, pick the kids up, grocery shop, pay the bills out of her account (I send her all the money I make bc of my gambling issue), takeout the trash, pack the kids lunches, we rotate on bathing the kids. In my eyes it’s 50/50…

I do have a gambling problem and when I win I send her all the money and sometimes I ask her for some like $150-200 so that I can play which I know has taken a toll on her. I’m praying and trying to quit.

She remembers everything… literally everything about how I’ve ever hurt her so when she says she’s forgiven me for things it doesn’t feel true if you still hold on to it.. she also has Dad trauma on how he was never there and her parents split and to this day he always chooses other people over his own kids.

I make 85-95k a year and she probably makes about 70k now. We just bought a house together and have been living here for 5 months and she got her new job at the same time.

TL;DR
Overall, she doesn’t know what she wants and I’m trying to give her space to decide after our conversation. Also, she wanted to have another kid with me a month ago… like what?

I said if she isn’t ever going to respect, show love, and want me then when need to go different ways.

I’m on about day 7 where we don’t talk much and we sleep separately. I just don’t know what to do. I love my wife and kids more than anything… how do I handle all of this and how long is too long to wait for her to make a decision on if she wants to try to work it out?

28M with a 28F wife and two kids 4 & 6. Been together since high school (10 years)

My wife went out on 7 PM Friday 8/14 with a girl friend to a karaoke bar down the road from our house. Left me with the kids and just told me she was doing it. When it was 10~ I saw her Life360 moving towards downtown area so I just asked wyd? She responded going downtown and was very short. Then turned her location off and I didn’t see her come back until 2AM. She also said we would get intimate when she came back home. Well me waiting up on her and making sure she was okay was an issue… also the fact that I still wanted her (it has been like 3 weeks since the last time so yeah I want my wife) anyways she hit me with she doesn’t know what she wants, and that she loves me and doesn’t want another woman to reap all the benefits of me changing…. She does this cycle occasionally every few months for the last few years and after it, it gets better for a couple months but I don’t want to live like this forever.

We sit down and talk about everything on Monday because she went back to her cousins house for the weekend while I had the kids here. Most of it is she is picking things that I’d see as small, but obv to her it isn’t.
- She said she just “WOKE UP” on Tuesday (last week) and she just knew that she didn’t know what she wanted
- She doesn’t feel safe or feel like she can talk to me because I always get defensive on when she is attacking me
- I play video games too much or need to wait until the kids go to bed
- I said or did something years ago
- I don’t do enough around the house (these last few days I’ve done everything, cooked, put the kids to bed, pick up and take them to school, dishes, laundry, the whole 9.
I also do a lot in general. I usually do the dishes, pick the kids up, grocery shop, pay the bills out of her account (I send her all the money I make bc of my gambling issue), takeout the trash, pack the kids lunches, we rotate on bathing the kids. In my eyes it’s 50/50…

I do have a gambling problem and when I win I send her all the money and sometimes I ask her for some like $150-200 so that I can play which I know has taken a toll on her. I’m praying and trying to quit.

She remembers everything… literally everything about how I’ve ever hurt her so when she says she’s forgiven me for things it doesn’t feel true if you still hold on to it.. she also has Dad trauma on how he was never there and her parents split and to this day he always chooses other people over his own kids.

I make 85-95k a year and she probably makes about 70k now. We just bought a house together and have been living here for 5 months and she got her new job at the same time.

Overall, some of the things she said is true, but I do love her, I do small things to show it to her. I work
Hard and I love my kids and do anything for them.

I’m on about day 7 where we don’t talk much and we sleep separately. I just don’t know what to do. I love my wife and kids more than anything… how do I handle all of this and how long is too long to wait for her to make a decision on if she wants to try to work it out?

First stream and I hit a 350X on Mayan Stackways!
All follows on my stream are super appreciated, and I do giveaways on slot calls!

https://reddit.com/link/1tx8o8h/video/q62r62n8pd5h1/player