u/Critical-Suspect-688

Freshly turned 20, I have never been in a relationship, as I wasn’t the best looking kid & had high school mostly online due to Covid, I also never believed I wanted a marriage/ love centered relationship; I just want a rich man. I don’t want to work or worry about bringing in income. I want a man who is obsessed with me 10x and spoils me just because, I infact would find pleasure in degrading him and not sexually. In fact, I don’t even think I’d wanna have sex, I’d literally do everything else but penetration/ oral sex tbh. I also am about to graduate university and work where the rich men work, but idk how to attract one. Ik Shera always says they don’t take ppl my age seriously and I feel like when they see a woman as young as me in their field they’ll just feel intimidated and see me as their competition, so I’d js get played all the time. However, I could just dilly dally on that side of town without working; I just never go out alone. 1. Because I don’t have the money to spend on a drink if I wanna sit somewhere and 2. Im super awkward. I’d go to coffee shops to study or journal but yk; that’s where dusties go, so I haven’t been. I get awkward going somewhere doing nothing, and I also can not make eye contact. I feel like I naturally see men as predators because of all the news we see involving them? Idk, all I want is someone to fund my lifestyle, pay for school, my maintenance, possibly extra so that I don’t have to work, & can finish my studies, spoil myself & have time to figure out how/ what I wanna do for my own business, cause that is my goal long term. I don’t wanna work a 9-5. But help!! Lol.
I also think I’m a tad scared / traumatized from situations like wizardliz or in my culture, where men are the ‘heads/ dominant’ of the household & the woman has no say.

I just want to hop on here and say that I love Shera seven’s content, I listen to her all the time and I feel like she is one of the very few women/contact creators nowadays that I can actually take advice from because her advice is tried and true by her herself, however, I want to know if there are any other fans of hers that have their own religions/faith and how you guys navigate listening to her without letting her take on religion sway your faith? Because although I do agree she makes some points regarding religion/patriarchy, I still have my faith in my God… (not that I’m trying to force it out to anyone or anything. I’m just asking because I know I can be easily influenced at times)
Also, while we’re on the topic, I am 20 years old, I’ve never been in a relationship, I’m not looking for anything serious/marriage related , but I do want to experience being provided for financially and having a roster because I simply have not experienced anything ever. My high school days were mostly online because of Covid, I was not the best looking in middle school, and I just want to see what I’m like in relationships with providers/successful men, I am going into a field in university that has businessman so I know that my options will be open, but I want to know how to set myself up for success.

My family always, especially my mom, likes to buy things whenever they’re on sale, just because they’re on sale, even if she wasn’t planning on using it- she’ll make a use for it just because it’s on sale. She also gifts me things despite me telling her I don’t want gifts on occasions like holidays or birthdays. She thinks I’m being courteous or modest and that I don’t mean it and she still insists on getting me what she doesn’t know is CLUTTER. She was literally just talking about getting meat on sale js cause it’s on sale so she can freeze it (which she doesn’t freeze it, she’ll leave it in there for like a week and insist on making it before it ‘goes bad’) just because she saw me look at meat she made yesterday.. She’ll then proceed to get mad with me if I tell her I won’t eat it, and then not eat it when she makes it. It’s so complicated dealing with her. Like I get she comes from a loving place but this is why she hoards things and I can’t live with a clear mind. Whenever I clean the pantry or my room out for instance and give her things I don’t want so she can give to family, I find it in her room or closet or whatever and it pisses me off. I’ll suggest I go donate it and she’ll be like ‘no that’s wasteful I’ll give it to family!’ AND SHE NEVER DOES??
I just want to know how you guys do it, I’ll feel bad if I throw things out she got me when I was a child without telling her, but I’m doing a disservice to myself by allowing this to happen. I am still trying to get on my own two feet financially so least I can do is make my space comfortable and give myself SPACE at least, but she won’t let that happen. Help

Guys! My bday is tomorrow and though I’m happy I have a few caveats:

1. I’m turning 20.. my teen years are over. I feel like I haven’t fully lived them. Yes, I don’t believe in love in the romantic sense anymore and I am very happy I protected myself this far, but I think your teens are all about the fun stuff. I never even had a first kiss or anything, again, happy but fomo-ish. I’d be open to experiencing it with no strings attached- I am very much still into the path of living alone as of right now.
2. Saying goodbye to my teens is so bittersweet; alongside barely any experience I was always the ‘hard on yourself/ doing too much’ type. I literally got told one time @ one of my jobs that I’m ’just so locked in’ which again- not a bad trait but I feel like my character blocked me from so much. So much so I feel like I would’ve been another person on the flip side lol; anti commitment, women in male dominated fields, no strings attached, female manipulator type vibe- but we’d never know. I also don’t speak to anyone I knew in my teen years. I outgrew most of them and it got to a point where I realized most of my friendships were ppl who hardly respected me by I kept around because I either used to hate doing things alone, or cause I’d get bored and need people on speed dial (yk how they say it’s good to call ppl to snap yourself out of spirals which come on; Virgo, overthinking is kinda my best friend atp)
3. Idk, I think I’m kinda posting this cause I’m excited but also sad. I may seem dramatic but life’s getting serious lol. No more whining about misaligned friends or assignments or things you couldn’t do cause you’re not an adult yet, I have so much freedom to do things alone now that I’m older and I’m so ready and excited to do them- but it feels like there’s gonna be no record of who I ever was on the face of the earth because nobody’s with me to witness my character. And I don’t really see my achievements or how ‘great’ I am; lol instead I just think of the general public as idiots.
   All in all I’m just lowk happy I made it this far @ 20, happy I can post all this to a community of fresh folks and not worry about what I’m saying cause it won’t be used against me, nor will the ‘wrong crowd’ see it. Or will they, again idk anyone here that’s kinda the beauty to Reddit.
   Happy 20th to me ! Lowk hope for more alignment in all of life’s areas; friend groups, career, hobbies, etc :)

OBGYN practically told me since it’s been 6 months and I’m experiencing vaginal dryness & frequent need to urinate, it’s dangerous to wait for my bone health and whatnot and I need to go on the pill, & that there is no definite cure for FHA.
What the fock. There was literally no need to put my brain in such a low frequency like that. I occasionally notice cervixal mucus and cramps but they’re inconsistent, cause I’m inconsistent if I’m being so honest; I fear the scale going up. Which is something she also touched on- she said I could gain 20lbs and still not menstruate (which makes sense, everybody’s brain associates safety with its own thing) but like dam.
I feel the most safe when I just listen to my body, so I’m gonna do that. Eat in amounts that feel good, move in amounts that feel good (though I like being super active, I may dial it down now cause my body needs rest), and I’m I guess asking for everybody’s prayers because why would she put me in such a negative state? I just don’t agree with what she says, my body can and will cure itself.

⚠️ NUMBERS; IDK HOW TO BLOCK OUT

Context: total weight lost; 100 lbs (yall know this I posted a Reddit before I’ll edit and link it)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Amenorrhea/s/jyysKYgNNL

During my 170s was when my period was pretty light, less days than normal. This was after 4-5 months of me eating 2 meals a day and 1-2 snacks or more as needed to lose weight (I thought calorie tracking would make me disordered but this was worse for me)
~160s was when I lost it, also during a vegan fast (I’m Coptic orthodox, it was during lent which was hard for me but the church is strict sometimes) and a 1500 deficit I deemed safe … clearly wasn’t, I was js impatient.
Fast forward 6 months later, I went down to 150 lbs and js recently decided to eat a frick ton of food, my tits are fuller, stomach more domed, some clothes feel tighter & I’m seeing 158-9, I am scared. I still have weight I want to lose & ik it’s not right to focus on that now, but I don’t want to set myself so far back that I can’t go lower than my current weight?
I wanna recover and give myself a year or 2 of normalcy, then DECIDE. But ik in this lifetime I wanna be skinny (healthy skinny), don’t get it twisted I enjoy eating, but it’s like.. I wanna eat to live, not live to eat yk? But I’m just wondering with my context if weight gain/ surplus is necessary to recover, it could’ve been the vegan aspect & I may just need to eat at maintenance yk? Idk

Would subliminals help me regain my period/ recover amenorrhea while still being able to lose weight? 🌚

I’m hitting up to 3kcals, possibly more I stopped counting, after losing a period for 6 months? I made a post before with more detail on my story

https://www.reddit.com/r/Amenorrhea/s/SBbLa5I9LY

but like DAYUM.. I’m scared to gain tons of weight but my morning weigh ins the past week have been 152-4,.. ain’t too bad but omg I never thought weight loss would be so extreme.. is it fr my body needs all this? Or am I just eating a lot cause I’m overthinking / scared to go too long without eating that my body just doesn’t recover? Cause I am a chronic overthinker tbh,
Also should be getting a metabolic panel lab redone next week, but have been eating a crap ton of sugars these past weeks (I’m talking bags of licorice, tubs of chocolate spread, etc) im scared it gives me insulin, but all the research says my body needs it? Idk help a girl out

Context:
Pre Covid: 250 lbs
Around 2022: 205lbs ish
April-Sept 2025: 205/10-160/170lbs
Height: 174cm/ 5’9
Ever since Sept 2025 and my body has been giving out, my original goal was to get to 130 lbs, I did this with no ozempic or any help, and initially didn’t track calories, during covid I think it was that we couldn’t go anywhere so I lost the weight via no fast food, but my second half was mostly dialing to 2 meals and snacks, but I didn’t think it that extreme because looking back they were pretty rounded meals most times? But fast forward to now (2026), haven’t gotten my period for 6 months, despite me eating intuitively since February, I tracked calories around September 2025 to February 2026 to eat around maintenance, then thought it’d be safe to return to a safe deficit (after learning ab calories) but then I didn’t get Marchs period and here we are. I’m 150lbs now, after trying to accept I need more calories to get a period I’ve been eating around 25-2700, fluctuating around 156-8, and noticing some signals of recovery but still no period. I am terrified to say the least of gaining weight, questioning if I can ever get to my goal weight of 130-135 at least anytime in life, and idk what I could’ve possibly done wrong. I was never super disordered/ really that bad, I naturally have a low appetite/ busy schedule and not enough time to eat, but recovery is just adding to the pile for me.
I get that recovery should b prioritized, but I also never thought weight loss was this bad? I also like to work out in the mornings, but like a 20 minute Pilates YouTube video, with 30 min walks is my usual rhythm for 4x a week, nothing too crazy, so it makes no sense to dial back exercise. There are people out there who lose more weight than me and function fine, why is my body failing me? Even as I put in the effort to recover, it’s so annoying. I’ve been using ChatGPT mostly, cause doctors give me mixed signals and I’m again, terribly afraid to regain any weight. I don’t want to give up on my goal, and I don’t like having to eat 2k+ calories just to better my CHANCE of recovering my period, not even for a guarantee yk? Like sure my body may need it, but it could also be stress from school/ work, or just cs I’m a Virgo I stress/ overanalyze everything (even this lol), but STILL. Why can’t I get what I want? It isn’t even that extreme? I’m at a bmi of 22 ish? Like what.
Also lab tests were showing a mildly low T3, low progesterone and estrogen, but I feel like maybe now things are getting better? Not sure. Also haven’t been able to feel anything sexually related. Like at all. 😐 Sorry tmi but idk who to talk to ab all this. Lol help/ tips would be appreciated!!

Context:
Pre Covid: 250 lbs
Around 2022: 205lbs ish
April-Sept 2025: 205/10-160/170lbs
Height: 174cm/ 5’9
Ever since Sept 2025 and my body has been giving out, my original goal was to get to 130 lbs, I did this with no ozempic or any help, and initially didn’t track calories, during covid I think it was that we couldn’t go anywhere so I lost the weight via no fast food, but my second half was mostly dialing to 2 meals and snacks, but I didn’t think it that extreme because looking back they were pretty rounded meals most times? But fast forward to now (2026), haven’t gotten my period for 6 months, despite me eating intuitively since February, I tracked calories around September 2025 to February 2026 to eat around maintenance, then thought it’d be safe to return to a safe deficit (after learning ab calories) but then I didn’t get Marchs period and here we are. I’m 150lbs now, after trying to accept I need more calories to get a period I’ve been eating around 25-2700, fluctuating around 156-8, and noticing some signals of recovery but still no period. I am terrified to say the least of gaining weight, questioning if I can ever get to my goal weight of 130-135 at least anytime in life, and idk what I could’ve possibly done wrong. I was never super disordered/ really that bad, I naturally have a low appetite/ busy schedule and not enough time to eat, but recovery is just adding to the pile for me.
I get that recovery should b prioritized, but I also never thought weight loss was this bad? I also like to work out in the mornings, but like a 20 minute Pilates YouTube video, with 30 min walks is my usual rhythm for 4x a week, nothing too crazy, so it makes no sense to dial back exercise. There are people out there who lose more weight than me and function fine, why is my body failing me? Even as I put in the effort to recover, it’s so annoying. I’ve been using ChatGPT mostly, cause doctors give me mixed signals and I’m again, terribly afraid to regain any weight. I don’t want to give up on my goal, and I don’t like having to eat 2k+ calories just to better my CHANCE of recovering my period, not even for a guarantee yk? Like sure my body may need it, but it could also be stress from school/ work, or just cs I’m a Virgo I stress/ overanalyze everything (even this lol), but STILL. Why can’t I get what I want? It isn’t even that extreme? I’m at a bmi of 22 ish? Like what.
Also lab tests were showing a mildly low T3, low progesterone and estrogen, but I feel like maybe now things are getting better? Not sure. Also haven’t been able to feel anything sexually related. Like at all. 😐 Sorry tmi but idk who to talk to ab all this. Lol help/ tips would be appreciated!!