u/DapperGoal7948

Thinking about what life is we are a bunch of worthless beings. We are born to live a short period of time compared to how long planets or existence itself have existed and we have no real impact. But were aware enough to know and wonder of why we are here. To live an actual good life you need to be so lucky, lucky to be born into a stable home, in a country without too much poverty, not be born during a war, not being born with disabilities or deformities etc. then we have to work so hard and go through stress to get things like money, jobs, house, car, partners just for a couple of decades to pass and then become a wrinkled, weaker and less energetic version of ourselves. Then theres the discussion of the afterlife, heaven or hell both sound bad, living for eternity is bound to make us go insane from boredom and if you go to hell imaging suffering for all eternity. Reincarnation is the only thing that sounds kinda of alright apart from just not existing, but that also is flawed as we can be born in horrible circumstances and human life is bound to end one day so what will happen then. You gotta get so lucky to be born, lucky to be born with good conditions, lucky on terms of attractiveness, lucky for how smart you are, basically all our existence was a gamble, all because of two people mating, and some of these people werent even planning in having a kid they were just horny. All your existance and pain because of two horny animals. It’s so crazy how easy it is to bring a sentient being to live.
All for no reason, no mission, nothing our lives mean nothing.

I really don’t know what to do with my life. I have a weird facial abnormality that is not well documented but is noticeable. I am scared of the future. I have no connections or friends and I am starting to get to an age where I need to work. But I seen online cases of how when your ugly is harder to get a job. I already struggle even attending classes as I hate the feeling of people looking at my weird face, I dont know how I am going to cope having to work for the rest of my life and probably dying all alone. Its painful man. I really dont see any realistic solution to improve my quality of life and that makes me stress more. The worst part is my parents not acknowledging I look different than other people and blaming me for my lack of social life and isolation.

This may sound bleak but if your born with a facial abnormality that makes you uglier than the average person you shouldnt have kids. I say this because it just inst fair. My mom passed me her face abnormality which cannot be fixed and I suffer because of it. Everyday I wish I didnt exist and the worst part is my parents believing there was a chance for me to have a normal life. They keep asking me why I dont act like others and I need to tell them is because Im ugly. Not necessarily by telling them is due to my mom abnormality being passed on to me but thats exactly why. I think the same think about poor people having like 10 kids. The government should step up and do something to ensure the quality of life of a kid will be good enough to not have mental issues later in life. But this will never happen as more people even if unhappy will benefit them to have slaves to work for their business or do the hard labour jobs.

This is a rant about my family. Both my mom and dad are normal looking I would say, but my mom seems to have some kind of facial abnormality that makes her face lack a lot of forward growth. The thing is my dad also has a similar face but his seems more normal. The thing is that if any of them would have gotten a partner with a more normal face the probability of being born without an abnormal face would have increased. But no I had no genes to save myself from this face. It makes me so angry because their whole marriage was just them fighting. Now that they are separate I see how easy for them is to get new partners. If only they could had separated before having me they could have had a normal looking child.

I wish I could be reincarnated into an average looking person to get a taste of what life is for most people and not go months without speaking to anyone outside of my family. Be able to go outside and do things without feeling embarrassed. Even take pride on my accomplishments without the reminder that they wont matter in the long run because my face is not good enough for other people. I feel when your average your actions do shape you, more effort could lead to a better life, start a family, build a community etc. But with my face nothing that I do brings me satisfaction as I have no one to celebrate it with. This is just a boring and depressing existence is crazy how a lot of people denied how much looks matter for just a basic life.

I have the whole package to be a loner. Socially awkward, ugly, no life experiences, even as a baby my parents would tell me instead of going where other people were in parties I would just go under empty tables for some reason. It’s quite depressing when I start thinking about what is going to be of me in the future but for now I at least don’t mind my loneliness.

I been trying very hard to ignore my negative thoughts as they are starting to affect my studies and overall life but I can’t believe how unfair life can be. I was born with an ugly face with a feature that is very rare and unfixable. My parents genetics did a number on me and due to it I feel I have missed out on a normal life, never gotten a girlfriend, hard time making friends and a lot of disrespect. But I did nothing to deserve this, I was raise on a christian household so I was always a positive and kind kid but the world keep putting me down with social rejection, isolation and parents oblivious to my condition asking me why I seem to not like to socialise, I try to put it lightly that people tend to not want to associate with ugly people but they just attack me personally like it is my personality thats the issue when they know I am a nice person. This makes me more depressed as there is no one in my life that acknowledges or understands what I go through and why I suffer so much, and their disappointment will just continue to grow. I don’t see any way to escape my suffering and feel God has jailed me on a miserable life. Going crazy is my major fear right now, I even have dreams where I am constantly judge for just existing.

Everyday I struggle with this feeling, how could I been born with such a weird face, it makes no sense how could my family tree had made it so far with these genetics. No surgery can help me, I try not blaming myself but my mind wants me to do something, I spend hours researching people with facial abnormalities or syndromes to know why I look like this, I cant even earn money to go see a surgeon and I don’t even known what type of surgeon should I see for this issue. I have become more lazy as I feel hopeless and can’t imagine any future where I am happy. The only thing that has helps me sleep at night is the thought that there might be a change that when I die I will be reincarnated into a body with the skull of an average person and if there is nothing after death I wont have to suffer anymore.