u/Darnellaa

I hope everyone can heal and pass the hard times soon but healthily. It will be hard but remember let it all out, cry it all out because the second wave is you realising the reality and that putting you first to move on will help, knowing that love isn’t over and you can still be loved and be in love❤️

Tips for not spiralling:

• have something funny on, laugh, feel joy in something

•talk to friends, talk about anything that you have in common like a new show that’s maybe coming out, a new ep. That’s been watched etc.

• YouTube pranks, crime documentaries, something that make a you immerse yourself in.

• walks (if your body allows it, don’t force yourself if you’re not ready)

• if at home, cleaning with your favourite playlist, dance sing but just nothing sad!! Play something upbeat!

• reorganise a small part of somewhere to get your mind going

• game with friends

• plan a time out with a group of people

• never be in the quiet enough where your mind can’t focus onto anything but the breakup.

IF you tend to check on social for anything of him

• restrict his account, not a full block but it mutes his activity.

• block them IF you’re ready, this is a step of moving on when emotionally stable enough to understand the situations reality

• deactivate your own account temporarily only if these things don’t stop you from looking for his activity

•delete the chat and don’t re read it. If you’ve sent them a message let that be the message, if they want to reply or come back they will, you’ve left that door open for them, but don’t let this stop you from getting over the breakup, healing from it is still needed as it can be exhausting thinking about it and trying to fill every question to every text he’s probably sent before. Space and time is everything for both ends… :)

These are things I do, it may not help everyone but I hope it helps someone

Wishing everyone the best!❤️

Hello. Please scan through this as I know it’s long, read the most important parts which is kinda near the end ..

I’m in a struggle stage right now and would like some advice. I feel like it’s a long story but I’m 25 F I have autism and I take breakups badly. Took me 2 years to get over my first serious love and now I do have this one that’s really upsetting.

I love him and I broke up. I felt with a lot that many people wouldn’t put up with. Over time he was changing and I saw it but I became numb and I panicked and just broke up with him. I felt my feelings going numb from 2024 (near the end) and I broke up in April 2025… I just needed space and time to heal of the bad that came in our relationship.

We was heading forward and now I messaged him back too late… he was chasing me to have me back for around 8 months… he said something that I thought that meant he didn’t want me anymore but I was wrong (I misunderstood) and in April I messaged him but he replied back and said I just want to let you know I’m dating someone now… this was 4 months after he stopped chasing me and I was so heart broken… I felt it was quick because he’s been chasing me, being soooo emotional to me and I was thinking how was he able to love someone else enough to date them in April while chasing me with sooooo much touching words that was about us, his love, our future, what he was currently doing for me to be a better him for our relationship. BUT in January even he was flirting with me saying I was beautiful.. and I was falling into him again but I was scared he was going to reject me..

I feel regret… I used the wrong word of break up and not I want space. I had an abortion with him, he’s hurt me and I needed to process it fully and that’s what happened while I was gone. I feel like a better me, happier and I wanted to go back into that relationship as we both was changing for each other.

I let my feelings out and he took 4 days to reply back to me… said I had a year to tell him, I didn’t have a year because it only reached just before a year that he told me the news.. why flirt with me when talking to someone else.. I know he couldn’t talk to her in feb and end up in a relationship in a”April” he said he’d feel worse if he didn’t tell me he’s dating someone so I think they been dating for a bit and he came out with it. He did say he’d tell me if he would one day and that I should do the same (this was in April of our break up)

We would meet during our break up but I was still numb. But under that I did know I loved him I needed this time to heal tho and I think it was being interrupted with his love being given to me at the time I needed space if that makes sense.

Anyways here’s his paragraph he send me and I’ve never heard from him ever since.. he’s been ignoring all my texts but read his words.. you can’t say one thing but ignore me when I just send a text/s…

“ I genuinely felt broken when we first broke up, especially cause it felt out of the blue, tbh nowadays I feel emotionally numb.

I was tryna be grown about it hence why I didn’t fight about it and accepted it, you also seemed to had made up ur mind.

I clearly wanted us to get back together but felt the cold shoulder and you seemed happy, which is all I want, especially after how much I know I’ve hurt you

So I believed that u deserve someone who you don’t have to think back in the past and feel hurt. You’ve even mentioned that to me before and when you did I was genuinely upset thinking why I treated you like that before

I still have so much love for you, I genuinely thought we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together.

Now I can’t be 100% sure, since I felt that your choice to breakup seemed so easy and as I said shortly after we broke up, I don’t know if we were to get back together again, if u would genuinely feel happy or you’d be quick to leave again.

I’m happy you have told me the full story as I thought u were just livin your best life focusing on yourself and even tho I wasn’t in the picture, I was extremely happy for you (ik socials can be deceiving)

You will always have a place in my heart but I can’t say for sure if our relationship will rekindle, only time will tell

I genuinely am here for you, want you to be happy and want the best for you

If it happens it happens”

If it happens it happens I feel like it was said because I was pouring my heart out saying I miss you so much, I shouldn’t have listen to my friend when they said not to tell you I did when I did (June - September) and I had the courage to this time in April… he won’t delete my number when I told him too because he doesn’t even reply to me. So why keep my number. Maybe you do want to be friends but I said I can’t be it’s not fair on me. I deleted his number and unfollowed him on insta (he’s not done the same) is his relationship a band aid? A rebound? Or maybe genuinely happy with his new person but not wanting to face my emotional texts to try end on a good note? This isn’t a good note to me now it feels like empty words when saying I’m genuinely here for you always and to keep the number cos I can messaging if I need to… still have love for me doesn’t seem like the case as I’ve just been ignored completely. If he really was done with me why not just delete my number not just my damn nud** and our se* vids??? Never said our photos tho.. I’m very literal so maybe I’m not reading what he’s saying correctly..

I’ve been to Philly but now thinking if there’s anywhere else that I could try visit ? Someone said DC, thoughts on New York? Spending money for just shopping would be budgeted to around $2000/2100 max.

Does anyone know any good Asian dessert restaurants/ bakery’s in or close to the centre? Seen a few online but wanted a second opinion on places you may know of. Looking for east/ SE Asian spots! 😊 and any opinions about Ross? I hear good about it from someone from London but what’s your thoughts of the pricing of clothing, is it worth it?