u/Dazzling_Essay9178

I have been trying to date on and off for the past several years. I won't get into the details but it hasn't been fun. It also hasn't taken up that much time either, so I still spend plenty of time doing the things I enjoy.

But when ever I take a break, it doesn't feel like I'm doing for a good reason. I'm doing it cause I had another string a women saying they had a great time on our first date, we'd text a bit and as soon I try to set up date two they disappear. I'm taking a break because I'm sick of the constant failures and lies. But I'm ready for a relationship and I want some romance and intimacy, it's the only thing in my life I feel I am missing. And if I want something I gotta try to make it happen.

I struggle to not think about it because it is literally everywhere. It is impossible to avoid reminders of love and romance in this world. I guess I just some advice on how to not feel like me taking a break isn't me conceding I am unlovable.

I've been on dozens and dozens of dates since I decided to really put myself out there. I'm open to finding a girlfriend or just some fun, and I have found nothing. I can only think of maybe one or two women who actually said "not going to happen" after the date. Everyone else said theyd love to see me again and go out. Then they all ghost me. I've had three second dates. One third. No fourths.

I'm learning nothing good about myself from this. I feel unlikeable, ugly, I feel like I must be an unpleasant person to be around with a poor personality considering all these dozens of women not only universally reject me, but lie about having had a good time. I always feel good driving to the date and I savor that, but it feels so incredibly hollow a few days later when I've still heard nothing from the woman I went out with.

I really can't see the point in this.

Yesterday for like the millionth time someone said I was innocent. People usually are saying this when we're talking about dating and girls. It's usually girls who say it. I'm not about to say their wrong, I have next to no experience, I'm 27 but people tend to think I'm much younger, and I have no idea how to appeal to women. It takes some skill to be try for years and never learn. I've been constantly trying to change different things, work on things that may not be attractive, and know I'm wondering if people thinking I'm innocent is huge turn off. Of course, I have no idea how to change this.

I am horrifically lonely and spend my time reading/learning, working, exercising, and drawing. I have no friends with any of these, a had friend from school but he has only ever blown me off when I try to set things up. I'd love to do a drawing class, but I don't have that sort of money and I certainly can't do it over zoom like they all seem to be. I went to board game group last year for several months, but I really struggled to get along with anyone there.

I don't think I'm very creative because I cannot come up with anything that'll get me out and about with people. I don't know if I'm even looking to make friends, just anywhere where I'm not alone.