u/Dazzlingsky44

Hii all,

Besides cash & cc, wondering how do you pay when you're in Malaysia?

For example, a lot of people seems to recommend either Jenius cc/ debit if it's in Singapore. Karena best in terms kita bisa convert dulu juga ke valasnya di aplikasi.

How about in Malaysia?

Besides cash & cc, how do you pay when you're there? Considering kurs, payment method, etc

Any input are appreciated thank youuu

Hi guysss, as the title, drop your best handheld portable fan recommendations for travel

What I'm looking for:

1. Good quality, last long (gacepet rusak)
2. Mini portable fan that's easy to bring around
3. Bisa dicas type C, not battery
4. Good performance in outdoor environment (bisa mayan kenceng anginnya)
5. Kalau bisa, lama juga bisa dipakainya juga kalau udh dicas full
6. Ringan preferably
7. Budget preferably would be under 100k. But I'm considering price ranges depending on quality also. So, If you have recommendations more than the budget, do still drop it because I want to know

Any recommendations are appreciated thank youuuu

Sesuai judul, awalnya tertarik remote bc I like working alone more & WFH. I dislike Jakarta commute, tua dijalan.

It turns out setelah dijalani malah sama aja, overwork juga, bisa sampai lebih malem malahan. Bedanya gaada commutenya aja.

Currently working with people that's still in Asia Tenggara/ Asia. IS IT EITHER ONLY RUNNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS AS THE ANSWER OR WORKING WITH WESTERN PEOPLE????

Astaganaga I want to have more control & freedom for my rights outside of work. HIDUP GA CUMA KERJAAAAAA PLEASEEEE

Hi girlss, as the title, drop your best tripod recommendations for travel

What I'm looking for:

1. Kalau dilipet/ basic size sblm di extend ga lebih dari 30 cm - travel friendly bisa masuk sling bag

2. Stable anti badai, ada remote better & kalau bisa yg remotenya dicas type C, not battery

3. Not stainless in material, karena kudenger ga aman kalau kena air laut? Basically, I'm looking for the one yang safe kena air laut/ air asin juga

4. Ringan preferably

5. Budget would be under 100k. But if your recommendation is THAT GOOD, then still drop it down because I'm considering price ranges depending on quality also

Any recommendations are appreciated thank youuuu

Mods jangan takedown/ ban pleaseee. Sorry kukira awalnya termasuk cas-an, turns out adaptor is the correct wording. I need more references:'

As the title said, suhu-suhu who likes to travel, please drop your best travel adaptor universal recommendations:D

Currently searching yang:

1. Within budget/ affordable, you can share few recommendations with the price range

2. Untuk cas HP, Laptop, Powerbank

3. Works properly/ great dalam ngecas all the gadget above

4. Tahan banting, tahan tempur

5. Easy to bring anywhere

Any recommendations are appreciated thank youuuu

Hi all,

anyone here familiar with Dry-bags?

Please let me know, biasanya what are the things we need to take note from, before buying them. Additionally, let me know if you have any Dry-bags recommendations :D

I'm looking for one that also have a bit bigger in size, maybe? Want to use it for multipurpose, including for storing dirty clothes during travel

Thank you all~

Hi all,

Kalau aturan berkaitan bagasi & kabin international travel itu bagaimana sih? Lebih kearah jenis/ tipe koper & tas yang kita bawa.

Misal Cabin have 7kg capacity, itu ga ngelimit kita bawa 2 bags kan, a.k.a backpack & sling bag? Or more?

And bagasi 20 kg, ini koper harus segede apa? Or bisa bawa beberapa? Misal 1 koper 1 duffle bag gitu? Tapi kepikiran jg banyak kasus, tas/ koper kebuka/ kebongkar gitu pas diterima. Literally banyak yg missing gitu pas nerima, misal oleh" ilang, etc. So, I was also wondering about that.

Jdnya apakah not wise to bring other bag, selain koper? Jadi harus 1 koper gd banget gitu? Also, apakah tsa lock obligatory? Does it needed?

Sejauh ini, I researched around koper brand, this is the top 3 I found:

1. American Tourister
2. Samsonite
3. President

But their prices though:" . Wondering if you guys have other good quality koper recommendations for International travel that's more affordable? If you also have recommendations for secondhand ones also interested. Yang softcase lebih preferred btw

I heard ada yg beli koper langsung rusak pas dipakai travelnya, itu astaga sih. Makanya asking advice untuk menghindari ini juga.

Selain itu, kalau bawa tumblr stainless 1 litre gitu apakah masuknya kena berat kabin yg 7kg? Just realized the tumblr itself is already pretty heavy so wondering about that

Thank you all~

Hi girls,

If you have any sling bags recommendations, would love to know!

What I'm searching:

1. Medium in size, can fit lots of things, but not to big & heavy
2. Quality is number 1, the longer it can last, the better
3. International travel friendly, if it can fit tumblr/ water bottles would be great
4. Leather material is a no go
5. Yang ringan lebih baik, tapi bahannya masih kain (cotton, etc), not parasut
6. Style-wise, looking for something yang casual/ maybe bit gothic is okay too/ vintage (tapi tergantung style), to note*unisex options also considered, tapi lihat dulu karena cari yang bisa masuk to any kind of style in terms of outfits, since it's going to be for everyday use also
7. Thrift/ preloved recommendations are also okay!
8. Price-wise, the more affordable the better. But any recommendations are considered since also looking for quality.

Any recommendations are appreciated! Would love to hear from fellow puans

Hi suhu-suhu finansial,

Anyone who are used to deal with USD & remote/ WFH workers

What's the best ways/banks/platforms/scheme to receive, save, and grow USD stably? *Sender via wise USD

Things to consider would be:

1. Biaya kirim dari sender rendah -- kalau bisa nol ($4 USD are max)
2. Admin Fee rendah --klo bisa nol
3. non-BUMN
4. Low-risk & stable growth tanpa perlu sering mantau market
5. Ada kartu visa (fisik/virtual) would be better
6. Ada Fasilitas Tarik Tunai gratis di Luar Negeri lebih menarik (apalagi klo di ATM jaringan mereka sendiri)

 

Jenius USD is quite interesting because can accept USD, have 2,25% p.a. bunga, and visa card (fisik & virtual). But when checked, if its sent via Wise USD -- Jenius USD, there's $30 USD for SWIFT fees, which are quite high.

Some said they can accept via opening rekening bank US, using Morse/ Kosh/ Onboard buat nerima USDnya. Then, invest via crypto USDC pakai Pintu dan kalau mau withdraw IDR itu bisa ke bank indo.

Alurnya jadi gini: client -- rekening bank US -- Pintu -- Bank indonesia

But I heard, if we use this scheme you can also get charged for fees when you try to sent
USDC -- Pintu & Pintu -- Bank indonesia, jadi kena 2x. Which meant defeating the main point on trying to minimize fees, while receiving, saving, and growing USD stably?

So:

1. What's the best way/ scheme to work around this?
2. If your main goal is simply to preserve the value of the USD while earning a decent return with low risk, which investment would you choose?
3. Which platforms/ banks are the best to work around it?
4. Investment-wise, if it's in USD, stabilnya bentuknya apa?
5. Is there any ways to avoid or minimize SWIFT/withdrawal fees? (legally) 6. If your main goal is simply to preserve the value of the USD while earning a decent return with low risk, which investment would you choose?

If you’d like, please feel free to share why you chose that setup/ scheme and perhaps some things beginner should avoid. Maybe other things to take consideration from? (If you guys have anything to note/ to take into mind regarding this)

Any advice/info/input are greatly appreciate!

Hi suhu-suhu r/finansial,

Anyone who are used to deal with USD Payments & suhu-suhu remote/ WFH workers

What's the best ways/banks/platforms/scheme to receive, save, and grow USD stably? *Sender via wise USD

Things to consider would be:

1. Biaya kirim dari sender rendah --bahkan kalau bisa nol ($4 USD are max)
   2. Admin Fee rendah --bahkan klo bisa nol
2. non-BUMN
3. Low-risk & stable growth tanpa perlu sering mantau market
4. Ada kartu visa (fisik/virtual) would be better
5. Ada Fasilitas Tarik Tunai gratis di Luar Negeri lebih menarik (apalagi klo di ATM jaringan mereka sendiri)

 

Jenius USD is quite interesting because can accept USD, have 2,25% p.a. bunga, and visa card (fisik & virtual). But when checked, if its sent via Wise USD -- Jenius USD, there's $30 USD for SWIFT fees, which are quite high.

Some said they can accept via opening rekening bank US, using Morse/ Kosh/ Onboard buat nerima USDnya. Then, invest via crypto USDC pakai Pintu dan kalau mau withdraw IDR itu bisa ke bank indo.

Alurnya jadi gini: client -- rekening bank US -- Pintu -- Bank indonesia

But I heard, if we use this scheme you can also get charged for fees when you try to sent USDC -- Pintu & Pintu -- Bank indonesia, jadi kena 2x. Which meant defeating the main point on trying to minimize fees, while receiving, saving, and growing USD stably?

So:

1. What's the best way/ scheme to work around this?
2. If your main goal is simply to preserve the value of the USD while earning a decent return with low risk, which investment would you choose?
3. Which platforms/ banks are the best to work around it?
4. Investment-wise, if it's in USD, stabilnya bentuknya apa?
5. Is there any ways to avoid or minimize SWIFT/withdrawal fees? (legally)
   6. If your main goal is simply to preserve the value of the USD while earning a decent return with low risk, which investment would you choose?

If you’d like, please feel free to share why you chose that setup/ scheme and perhaps some things beginner should avoid. Maybe other things to take consideration from? (If you guys have anything to note/ to take into mind regarding this)

Any advice/info/input are greatly appreciate!

https://preview.redd.it/ttuujxiexmbh1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=023f69f70a7a8536837d914b7650754aef54c389

https://preview.redd.it/ladt0ntexmbh1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80e951ec55c684d79a4ea3d8de659b91ae33e03f

Hi girls first time booking plane tickets,

Ini lagi mau coba booking directly di citilink app kan ya, udh pilih yang green eco international buat bagasi extra, katanya dapet 20 kg dengan tambahan biaya around 200k, okay udh dipilih kan ya. Tapi pas udah dipilih, dihalaman sebelum klik lanjutkan, pas mau ngecek detailnya lagi, malah extra bagasi yang 20 kgnya gaada??? Sedangkan harga tambahannya masih berlaku?

Ini tertulisnya malah *pembelian bagasi tambahan tersedia dihalaman extra, terus pas dicoba ke halaman extra, tambahanan extranya kena biaya lagi??? Lah terus bagian yang green eco international extra bagasi 20 kg nya gmn? kan harganya udh ditambah?

Anyone understand this?:"''

HELPPP

Hi all,

(Urgent) I want to ask regarding plane tickets booking, it's going to be first time international travel, solo travel as woman to Singapore (3 days 2 nights) - future month (ga bulan ini)

1. Which platforms are best to book plane tickets on with a good price? (Credible & Customer Servicenya lancar & cepet online)
I haven't traveled internationally myself & belum pernah book plane tickets, so masih awam regarding this. Yang perlu diperhatikan sebelum book plane tickets itu apa ya? detailnya? Please enlighten me. Selain platform umum juga biasa dimana or bagaimana sih

2. Best to worse, which maskapai would be good to choose? what are the Pro & Cons
Fyi, budget for PP is around 3.4jt. Tapi masih consider cheaper flights juga, currently looking at all options for now and still considering.

Ada yang pernah pakai Scoot? Itu maskapai apa ya, baru denger

3. Kalau otw ke Bandara Soekarno Hatta itu biasa macet ga sih? She's from outside of the city
Sejauh ini paling kepikiran grabcar/gocar tapi ada option lain kah? Basically, dia tuh harus naik travel dulu terus poolnya ada di Tangerang (TangCity). Nah buat catch flights ASAP kan perlu estimasi real time transport. Rencana mau book plane ticketsnya yang paling early on that day, tapi takutnya susah cari transport ke Bandara Soekarno Hattanya juga, apalagi kalau flightnya yang subuh :'' So if you have any suggestions, advice, info, greatly appreciated

4. Need to book plane tickets ASAP, but still trying to book time buat bikin passport (aplikasi lagi maintenance astaga), ini jadi agak bingung
I heard you need passport data buat book plane tickets, tp I also searched online that you can book plane tickets first then passportnya nanti pas udah di airport/ deket" hari mendekati penerbangan?

Td udh book time buat bikin passport, tp error pas pembayaran makanya nunggu ke cancel dulu. Currently lagi mau book buat bikin paspornya lagi (tapi aplikasinya malah maintenance astaga). Urgentnya itu ada demand buat book plane tickets duluan, that's why, need to book the plane ticket ASAP, so a bit nervous regarding this. Kalau ternyata bisa book plane tickets duluan sebelum ada data passport it would be really helpful. So if you have any suggestions, advice, or info regarding this, would be greatly appreciated

*Note: Need to push budget in this case, so gonna choose the 4 days process passport

5. Kalau udh di Changi (Singapore) airport itu biasa pakai apa buat otw ke accomodation?
Heard biasa banyak yang shoot prices/ sengaja naikin harga kalau pick up dari airport, ini denger kasus orang yang pernah travel di airport. Kalau di Singapore kasusnya gmn ya and bestnya pakai apa?

6. Heard aqua botol is expensive in SG? Better to bring tumbler? A Bit out of topic, but do you have any sling bag recommendations for this yang bisa dipakai day to day and for international travel-durable lasting years? Medium size, bisa muat agak banyak termasuk mini tumblr tp ga kebanyakan berat juga. Kalau bisa recommend merk langsung juga boleh banget

Any suggestions, advice, and info are greatly appreciated. Thank youuuuuuuu

Hi all,

Wanna ask, kalau misal kita bikin passport dulu tp blm ada exact plan & tiketnya blm dipesen itu bisa ga sih?

Basically, kalau ada rencana pengen keluar negeri in the future, u need Passport. But, since the plan masih lama, you're not exact about it yet & belum sampai beli tiket etc. Tapi better ada passportnya dl kan, jd nanti kalau udh fix tinggal urus yg lain yg mostly teknis bukan administrasi. Jd bisa ga sih kalau bikin passport dl in this case? Concernnya tuh bagian interview. Kalau kaya bikin dulu buat nanti ada rencana liburan gitu bisa ga (remember we haven't prepared everything about it yet)

Edit: Plus aneh juga kan ya kalau udh pesen tiket tp passportnya malah blm ada?

Hi all, my friend is going to travel Outside the Country (Singapore) for the first time. I haven't been to Singapore yet, so I can't give many insights regarding this.

However, I wanna make sure that everything's prepared & safe for her. It's going to be a solo travel, she's a southeast asian woman around mid-20s more/ less. She's going there for a business trip 3 days 2 nights.

1. What needs to be brought to Singapore & what not or maybe forbidden?

Tips on what stuff are better to bring to Singapore & why?

2. Since she's going to Singapore as a solo woman traveller, would it be better to bring self-defense basics, maybe something like pepper spray & emergency alarm? Is it illegal there?

3. Is there any culture/ common tradition/ rules she needs to be aware off? Let's say for example: not slurping noodles in Japan is considered impolite to the chef because it implied you didn't like the food, so the people in Japan usually slurp noodles

4. Buy/ Shop/ Transportation/ Commuting Transactions

Is there tips/deals regarding this?

5. Where to go & what activities to do?

She don't know where she gonna stays yet. Locations probably gonna be around Orchard Link/ Orchard Road, but wouldn't mind to travel out of the area. Some things about her is that she likes nature and is a cultural, artsy person, she also like museums or just something that doesn't require her to be consumptive (but if you have cheap shopping/thrifting recommendations she also would love to know), especially thrifting hidden-gems.

Please recommend places or area to go that aren't a tourist trap. Like Don Quijote/ Donki in Japan which are more popular around tourist. Instead, she want to know which are more affordable & popular options to shop in Singapore around the residents. Any affordable food/ restaurants to visit that's very recommended would also love to hear that.

6. What are Singapore specialities? For example, South Korean have good stainless steels foodware & skincare. In this case, what about Singapore?

She's so excited because it's her first time going outside the country & want to maximize the opportunity

Would appreciate any insights. Any advice are appreciated! Thank you

Hi all, my friend is going to travel Outside the Country (Singapore) for the first time. I haven't been to Singapore yet, so I can't give many insights regarding this.

However, I wanna make sure that everything's prepared & safe for her. It's going to be a solo travel, she's a southeast asian woman around mid-20s more/ less. She's going there for a business trip 3 days 2 nights.

1. What needs to be brought to Singapore & what not or maybe forbidden?

Tips on what stuff are better to bring to Singapore & why?

2. Since she's going to Singapore as a solo woman traveller, would it be better to bring self-defense basics, maybe something like pepper spray & emergency alarm? Is it illegal there?

3. Is there any culture/ common tradition/ rules she needs to be aware off? Let's say for example: not slurping noodles in Japan is considered impolite to the chef because it implied you didn't like the food, so the people in Japan usually slurp noodles

4. Buy/ Shop/ Transportation/ Commuting Transactions

Is there tips regarding this?

5. Where to go & what activities to do?

She don't know where she gonna stays yet. Locations probably gonna be around Orchard Link/ Orchard Road, but wouldn't mind to travel out of the area. Some things about her is that she likes nature and is a cultural, artsy person, she also like museums or just something that doesn't require her to be consumptive (but if you have cheap shopping/thrifting recommendations she also would love to know), especially thrifting hidden-gems.

Please recommend places or area to go that aren't a tourist trap. Like Don Quijote/ Donki in Japan which are more popular around tourist. Instead, she want to know which are more affordable & popular options to shop in Singapore around the residents. Any affordable food/ restaurants to visit that's very recommended would also love to hear that.

6. What are Singapore specialities? For example, South Korean have good stainless steels foodware & skincare. In this case, what about Singapore?

She's so excited because it's her first time going outside the country & want to maximize the opportunity

Would appreciate any insights. Any advice are appreciated! Thank you

Hi all, my friend is going to travel Outside the Country (Singapore) for the first time. I haven't been to LN yet, so I can't give many insights regarding this.

However, I wanna make sure that everything's prepared & safe for her. It's going to be a solo travel, she's a woman around mid-20s more/ less.

1. Passport

She haven't make her passport yet, we have searched there's 2 types of passport which is for 5 years & 10 years. If you have more context to add, let us know

1a. Which one is better to choose?

1b. I heard there's also interview to make passport? Better handle interviewsnya gmn in this case? Emng sejauh apa sih biasa ditanyanya? What do we need to prepare interview-wise & maybe documents?

Fyi, She went there for a business trip 3 days 2 nights, but she's a freelance (independent contractor) so it's not specifically bound with Indonesian law. Another thing to note, she want to make the passport without giving too much personal info like: bank statement & where she work if she can. She likes privacy better but if it's basic administration documents then it's okay.

2. What needs to be brought to Singapore & what not or maybe forbidden? Buat cek detail aturan ini itu via apa/ kemana ya?

2a. Tips barang apa aja yg penting dibawa kalau ke Singapore & why? Also harus pakai koper kah? She's used to bring a big (big enough backpack for 3 days 2 nights)

2b. Since she's going to Singapore as a solo woman traveller, would it be better to bring self-defense basics, maybe something like pepper spray & emergency alarm? Is it illegal there?

2c. She want to bring something from Indonesia to give to gift to her Co-Workers (Southeast Asian people). For now, her consideration is maybe something like accessories or gantungan kunci she made herself? Or maybe specific food/ toys from indonesia that's rarely found outside the country (dia bahkan kepikiran beli gangsing jawa wkwkwk). Intinya yg penting affordable, bisa masuk Singapore tanpa denda or biaya & leave a big (good) impression for her Co-workers.

3. Buy/ Shop/ Transportation/ Commute Transactions

Buat shopping, buying food, transportation, commuting, etc that correlates with money itu betternya pakai apa ya?

Things to consider would be: nilai mata uang IDR yg melemah, potongan"nya kalau dipakai, access ke ATM/ pembayaran (?), maybe if you have more things to consider? But the point is, betternya pakai apa sih buat masing"?

4. Where to go & what activities to do?

She don't know where she gonna stays yet. Locations probably gonna be around Orchard Link/ Orchard Road, but wouldn't mind to travel out of the area. Some things about her is that she likes nature and is a cultural, artsy person, she also like museums or just something that doesn't require her to be consumptive (but if you have cheap shopping/thrifting recs she also would love to know), especially thrifting hidden-gems. Please recommend places or area to go that aren't a tourist trap. For example, like Don Quijote in Japan. Instead, she want to hear more shops that's more popular affordable locally around the residents. She also would love to hear recommendations if you reside in the area/SG in general. Any affordable food/ restaurants to visit that's very recommended would also love to hear that.

5. What can you bring back home without any trouble?

5a. Kalau Singapore itu speciality bestnya itu apasih? Misal, Korea Selatan have good quality stainless steels & skincare kan. Kalau Singapore apa ya & can we bring those back home without more extra cost (bea-cukai)? Intinya oleh" in general itu kena bea cukai ga sih/ maybe any tips?

5b. If we open jastip Singapore handcarry itu kena Bea Cukai jg kah? Biasanya open biaya berapa per item/ maybe persentase biaya yg diambil untungnya brp kalau jastip Singapore gini? Haruskah beli koper kosong buat bawa khusus untuk barang jastipan? & Kalau iya barang" apa & tempat dmn sih yg easy to find barang jastip near the Orchard Link/ Orchard Area. Kalau jepang kan go tonya Don quite, kalau Singapore itu apa ya?

6. Is there any culture/ common tradition/ rules she needs to be aware off?

Let's say for example: not slurping noodles in Japan is considered impolite to the chef because it implied you didn't like the food, so the people in Japan usually slurp noodles

She's so excited because it's her first time going outside the country & want to maximize the opportunity haha

People who often done travel, woman travellers, or maybe reside & work in SG, would appreciate any insights. Any advice are appreciated! Thank you

Hi gurlie,

Selain softex ada alternative apa lagi aja sih untuk handle haid/ mens?

Sejauh ini yg tau: tampon, menstrual cup, celana mens(?)

If you have more, especially non-toxic alternatives & eco-friendly ,would love to hear it! Including their pro & cons

Thanks in advance

Hi suhu-suhu remote/ WFH workers,

1. Wondering how do you keep yourself productive & moving outside of work?

2. How do you manage life outside of work? Instead of staying in bed/ doomscrolling

3. How do you grow & target yourself growing/ maybe upskilling, especially when you have WFH privilege?

4. How's your social life? How do you meet new people to expand mindset, horizons, social life, and networking?

5. What do you invest in yourself or how do you take care of yourself?

If you have anything more to share, would love to hear it!

Hi, just wondering, emng ada app yg bisa detect kalau Instagram follow request di reject ya?

Ada akun idk who, kept on doing follow request again & again even after I reject everytime. Probably happened around 5 times already. If it kept on happening gonna consider blocking though

I resigned from my last job, it's been around 7 months, and I finally get a job.

During those 7 months, one of my family members was diagnosed with a serious illness. The diagnosis changed the entire family dynamic.

My mom became very anxious and strongly insisted that someone always stay home to monitor the sick family member, especially during the first few months. As the eldest daughter, I ended up being that person most of the time. Because I was home, I was also expected to handle a significant amount of household work. My mom's logic was essentially: "If you're home, the house should be clean and everything should be taken care of."

I asked multiple times whether this constant supervision was something the doctor actually recommended. From what I observed, it seemed more like my mom's anxiety and need for reassurance than a medical requirement. Having someone at home gave her a sense of safety.

The difficult part was that I gradually lost a lot of freedom. Even on weekends, if my mom went to church and my younger brother had his own activities, I was usually the one expected to stay home. Whether I wanted to help at the family business, meet friends, or simply go out, there was often pressure for me to remain at home.

Over time, I started feeling a lot of guilt-tripping, emotional pressure, and what felt like clear bias.

Then another issue happened. A thief stole something from our family business while my mom was managing it alone. After that, I voluntarily started helping at the family business more often because I genuinely wanted to help.

That's when I noticed what felt like a clear double standard between me and my younger brother.

When my brother helped at the family business, he was generally excused from household chores because "he already helped at the store."
When I helped at the family business, I was still expected to do household chores as well.

If my brother didn't do certain household tasks, my mom would often just ask me to do them instead. If I didn't do them, I would get criticized for lacking initiative, not helping enough, or other comments that honestly felt hurtful.
The difference was that he seemed to have a choice, while I was expected to be responsible.

Eventually, I started setting boundaries because the situation was affecting me physically and mentally. While setting boundaries helped me breathe a little easier, it also created more conflict. At times, I felt the bias and double standard became even more obvious.

There were also smaller things that hurt more than they probably should have. For example, when my mom ironed clothes, mine would be excluded. Another example: if my brother was going to be the one staying home, my mom would often wash the dishes before leaving so there would be less work for him. If I was staying home, she would often leave the dishes as they were.

These things may sound small individually, but after months of similar experiences, they made me genuinely question whether I was still loved in the family.

Over time, I came to the conclusion that my mom does love me. However, I also believe there is a real bias and double standard in how responsibilities and expectations are distributed between me and my brother.

Now that I've finally gotten a full-time remote job, I'm wondering with what the right approach should be.

Our family business is currently struggling, and I genuinely want to help.

At the same time, after everything that happened during the last 7 months it made me rethink about the whole family. I don't want helping to become an expectation and taken for granted. I don't want to become the family's financial backbone simply because I'm the eldest child and now have a job.

Additional i consider to contribute some financially since I'm currently live in the same house, have pendapatan already after i work, and genuinely wanna help. But i dont want it to be taken for granted, instead it's bc i choose to help

My current plan is to maintain stronger boundaries. I'll take care of my own responsibilities (my own laundry, dishes, etc.), focus on my full-time job, and help my family when I genuinely choose to. What I don't want is for my help to become an obligation or for my family to become dependent on it.

Now I'm wondering on how to communicate this with the mom, whether to bring up the bias/ double standard or not and how the convo flow gonna be

What's the wisest way to go around this?