I eat 500 calorie surplus daily and 120-150g protein daily. I run 55 miles a week but I always track calories and try to eat over. I am running a 4 day upper lower split rn
I’ve been balding since I was 19 and I’m 24 now. I have basically thrown my life away because of this and I just am at my wits end on what to do. I have been on dutasteride and oral minoxidil for 3 years and I got a hair transplant a year ago and my hairline is still so receded and see through. I’m just so depressed all the time it’s not an exaggeration to say I’ve thought about my hair loss for 4+ hours every day these past 5 years.
I’ve been to OCD clinics and seems therapists and tried dozens of antidepressants and antipsychotics and I’ve never felt any better and I don’t think I ever will. I just hate that my life has to be this way when I just want to be alive and not thinking or caring about my hair.
I currently live in Detroit and work for one of the Big 3 automotive manufacturers. I am looking for software engineering positions specifically in New York City, aiming for larger companies but non-FAANG. I am mostly interested in backend/data/cloud infra roles.
I have 4 years of experience all at one company since college and looking for a change. I haven't been applying for jobs for too long but feel like my resume is too wordy and not saying enough of what is important.
I am a US citizen.
I currently live in Detroit and work for one of the Big 3 automotive manufacturers. I am looking for software engineering positions specifically in New York City, aiming for larger companies but non-FAANG. I am mostly interested in backend/data/cloud infra roles.
I have 4 years of experience all at one company since college and looking for a change. I haven't been applying for jobs for too long but feel like my resume is too wordy and not saying enough of what is important.
I am a US citizen.
I currently live in Detroit and work for one of the Big 3 automotive manufacturers. I am looking for software engineering positions specifically in New York City, aiming for larger companies but non-FAANG. I am mostly interested in backend/data/cloud infra roles.
I have 4 years of experience all at one company since college and looking for a change. I haven't been applying for jobs for too long but feel like my resume is too wordy and not saying enough of what is important.
I am a US citizen.
Long story but basically I have had body dysmorphia and OCD my whole life going back to when I was 10 and got a scar on my leg and sobbed endlessly when I learned my appearance was forever altered. I have since been in therapy and on antidepressants for 14 years and I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t think I’ve progressed or developed any mental fortitude in this time.
I started to bald at 19ish but didn’t notice until I was 20 and I have been a shell of a human since. I have slept walked through university and my work, I lost my girlfriend of 7 years,whom I loved dearly, because she simply couldn’t see me like this anymore. I just am wholly unable to operate with my hair in its current state.
I have been on dutasteride and minoxidil for 3 years but never regrew anything so I went for a hair transplant a year ago and I’m very disappointed. It looks way too thin, the hairline is far too conservative, and overall looks like shitty receded hair after I paid 15k for the surgery.
I don’t really care about the money, I’m a software engineer and I don’t spend anything because all I do is work and then sleep as soon as I get home from work until it’s time for work again the next day. It’s been like this for 4 years now and I’m not sure I see the point of enduring this leveling of suffering. It feels like I tried really hard to make it, I tried the medication, the therapy, I went to the gym 4 times a week, I ran like 40 miles a week, saved for a hair transplant, all just to feel just as shitty as when the balding started 4 years ago.
I get pretty upset when I see people say that I need to get a grip or just shave it or whatever people say. I bet for normal people that makes perfect sense but for me I can’t even see myself in a mirror without either breaking down or punching my fist into a wall until it hurts.
I’m sick in the head and I think not everyone was meant to be here. I just wish there was a way to leave without hurting my parents. My sickest thought is that I’m a little glad they had me so late in life, I’m 24 and they’re 70 and 78. Maybe I can leave after they do.
Is this true? What is the best way I should go about upgrading my phone?
I started balding when I was 20 (probably earlier but I hadn’t noticed) and I haven’t been able to live with it since. I’m on dutasteride and oral minoxidil. These past 4 years I’ve done nothing but sleep my life away because it brings me so much pain to see myself in the mirror. I’ve had some pretty intense OCD and body dysmorphia all my life but this has sent me off the deep end.
I got a hair transplant a year ago and I spent 15k on it and my hair is still receded and the transplant looks thin. I know I needed to have more tempered expectations going into this but I was so desperate.
I’m just so ready for this miserable existence to end, it’s only been 4 years of losing my hair and I don’t think I can keep going. And yes I’ve been in therapy since long before the hair loss. I started medication and therapy when I was 10 and I’m 24 now. I’ve tried every modality every therapist every medicine and it all does absolutely nothing I’ve only felt worse every year older I’ve gotten. I don’t think I was suppose to be in this world.
I know I know it was really dumb. I acted fast and pulled the plug on my computer.
On a clean device, I reset every password I have (I already have 2FA on all accounts) and signed out all users. On a clean device I also created a windows 11 bootable drive on a clean usb drive and shut down computer, plugged in the drive, then while booting up clicked F12 to enter bios and reinstalled windows from the drive. I then ordered all new credit cards.
Is there anything else I need to do or should I be worried? I am paranoid that plugging in the bootable drive could have gotten the infection on it?
I know I know it was really dumb. I acted fast and pulled the plug on my computer.
On a clean device, I reset every password I have (I already have 2FA on all accounts) and signed out all users. On a clean device I also created a windows 11 bootable drive on a clean usb drive and shut down computer, plugged in the drive, then while booting up clicked F12 to enter bios and reinstalled windows from the drive. I then ordered all new credit cards.
Is there anything else I need to do or should I be worried? I am paranoid that plugging in the bootable drive could have gotten the infection on it?
I know I know it was really dumb. I acted fast and pulled the plug on my computer.
On a clean device, I reset every password I have (I already have 2FA on all accounts) and signed out all users. On a clean device I also created a windows 11 bootable drive on a clean usb drive and shut down computer, plugged in the drive, then while booting up clicked F12 to enter bios and reinstalled windows from the drive. I then ordered all new credit cards.
Is there anything else I need to do or should I be worried? I am paranoid that plugging in the bootable drive could have gotten the infection on it?
I know I know it was really dumb. I acted fast and pulled the plug on my computer.
On a clean device, I reset every password I have (I already have 2FA on all accounts) and signed out all users. On a clean device I also created a windows 11 bootable drive on a clean usb drive and shut down computer, plugged in the drive, then while booting up clicked F12 to enter bios and reinstalled windows from the drive. I then ordered all new credit cards.
Is there anything else I need to do or should I be worried? I am paranoid that plugging in the bootable drive could have gotten the infection on it?
