u/Defiant-Procedure-81

I (22F) started talking to a guy (25M) from my job, and the whole thing happened really randomly. We followed each other on Instagram, he asked for my number, and we started talking. From the beginning he made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship right now because he’s focused on his career and money. I respected that, but he still wanted to “get to know me” and see where things go. Side note mind u not many guys work on the floor or field and young ones at that too

At first, he was very sexual and pushed conversations in that direction. He would ask for nudes a lot and kept saying he “needs his girl to be overly sexual.” I told him there were certain things I wasn’t comfortable sending, and he was the one who eventually put a pause on the sexual stuff. He said he doesn’t like when someone “says they’re sexual but puts limitations on it,” and that instead of focusing on sexual things, we should actually get to know each other. That whole shift in tone confused me because he was the one who started it.

He also says he’s not a big texter or caller, but he tries a little because he knows I like communication. He says he’s more of an in‑person person but I’m currently on lockdown at home because my dad found some stuff in my room, so I can’t go anywhere or hang out with anyone right now.

Here’s where things get confusing for me:

At work, he’s extremely friendly with everyone. There’s one girl in particular he talked to for three hours straight in the break room. The whole shift they were basically gone. When he came back, he asked if I was okay and told me I “need to be confident” and not worry because he’s just friendly. But he also asked for my Instagram first, so I can’t help but wonder if he’s doing the same thing with her.

Another thing that throws me off is that we honestly don’t even text that much in general. Even when he’s on night shift which isn’t that busy he barely talks to me. He’ll go hours without responding, but he can sit and talk to another girl for hours in person. When I brought up how he doesn’t really put effort into talking to me at work, he said I’m “always in my own world” and that he doesn’t want to disturb me or feel like he has to force conversation. But it feels like he just doesn’t try with me the way he tries with other people.

He keeps telling me things like:

• he can’t afford a girlfriend
• he doesn’t want to rush
• he falls back when things feel too fast
• it’s hard for him to catch feelings
• we need to slow down and actually get to know each other

But then he also says he sees “potential” in me and that he can tell I’m willing to make things work. That comment honestly bothered me because it felt like he knows I’m emotionally open and he likes having me wrapped around his finger.

He reassures me sometimes, but he also makes it clear he’s not changing anything about how he moves. And the inconsistency makes it hard for me to even feel comfortable being sexual or emotionally vulnerable with him.

My friends think he’s using me for attention and that he likes the control. Today he even asked me if I’m “catching feelings or falling in love with him,” which felt like he was trying to gauge how attached I am. I don’t think I’m in love, but I do catch feelings fast, and I honestly don’t know what I’m feeling right now.

I’m confused because part of me likes him, but another part of me feels like I’m ignoring red flags. I don’t know if I should pull back, cut it off, or just keep things casual.

Has anyone dealt with someone like this? What would you do in my situation?

Honestly this is all due to my dad pressuring me
I’m honestly freaking out a little.

The first time I took the entrance exam, I passed the reading and writing sections. For math, I scored a 240, which means I’d have to take the foundational math course. At first I was okay with that, until I realized that course takes up an entire semester by itself. That made me want to retake the exam.

The first time I tried to reschedule it, my dad had taken my phone, so I couldn’t communicate with anyone or set up the appointment properly. I only got the code to schedule it, but I couldn’t follow through.

The second time, which was recently, I was feeling a lot of pressure to get it done. I do want to take it, but my dad keeps telling me I’m going to waste a semester, and the pressure made me rush. I tried to take the exam after working a 12‑hour night shift with no sleep, and I was completely burnt out. I ended up missing that appointment too.

This time, I finally scheduled the exam for real. Now I have to be approved by someone in charge before I can take it again, and I’m scared they won’t approve me even though I genuinely want to try and pass. I wanted to take it during a time when I wasn’t working back‑to‑back shifts, but the seven‑day window didn’t give me much flexibility, and I wasn’t ready earlier.

I’m really hoping they’ll understand the situation and let me take it again, because I want to move forward.

I’m honestly freaking out a little.

The first time I took the entrance exam, I passed the reading and writing sections. For math, I scored a 240, which means I’d have to take the foundational math course. At first I was okay with that, until I realized that course takes up an entire semester by itself. That made me want to retake the exam.

The first time I tried to reschedule it, my dad had taken my phone, so I couldn’t communicate with anyone or set up the appointment properly. I only got the code to schedule it, but I couldn’t follow through.

The second time, which was recently, I was feeling a lot of pressure to get it done. I do want to take it, but my dad keeps telling me I’m going to waste a semester, and the pressure made me rush. Mind you he won’t even let me do anything outside the house apart from work .I tried to take the exam after working a 12‑hour night shift with no sleep, and had to go back the same day I got off later and I was completely burnt out. I ended up missing that appointment too.

This time, I finally scheduled the exam for real. Now I have to be approved by someone in charge before I can take it again, and I’m scared they won’t approve me even though I genuinely want to try and pass. I wanted to take it during a time when I wasn’t working back‑to‑back shifts, but the seven‑day window didn’t give me much flexibility, and I wasn’t ready earlier.

I’m really hoping they’ll understand the situation and let me take it again, because I want to move forward. And I’m supposed to have two attempts left and I legit only need the math part. I’m disappointed because I should’ve just taken it anyways and if I didn’t pass at least I would’ve been able to take it one more time but I didn’t wanna waste my attempt if I was already so drained I know it’s stupid and it’s on me but I’m really nervous if they won’t allow me to retest

So y’all… I really got myself caught up.

For context, I’m 22 and still living at home because we recently moved and I’m trying to get stable. My dad ended up finding substances in my room, and honestly that part is on me. I was rushing to work, didn’t hide things properly, and told myself, “He won’t come in here today.” Of course, he came in to fix my curtain and saw everything.

He found old empty bottles, some 🍃 from forever ago, and some shroom bars and gummies I got for my birthday. I don’t even do that stuff often, and I had already stopped smoking. But once he found it, he took my phone, my car, and basically put me on house arrest. It’s been a month and I still can’t go anywhere.

We moved recently, so I don’t have many friends here, and now I can’t even see the one friend I do have.

I also recently met a guy and things are going well, he still wants to get to know me but he said the one bad thing is that I can’t go out and he can’t see me whenever but the situation is complicated because I can’t go out at all. When I finally am allowed out again, my parents are going to be checking my location constantly because they don’t trust me anymore. I’m not trying to sneak off to buy anything. I’m literally just trying to see someone I like, but I feel like I’m going to be monitored like a teenager.

My parents are only letting me go out with one girl they approve of, an African girl they like, because they see her as a “safe” friend. She seems cool, but it’s frustrating that they’re trying to pick my friends for me. I thought I was finally getting some freedom back, but my dad told me we’re taking things step by step.

I still have at least two more years living with them, and I’m scared I’m going to waste my 20s stuck in the house over one mistake. I just got my curfew extended to 11, but I’m still mad at myself. I want to believe everything happens for a reason, but this whole situation feels awful.

Has anyone else dealt with being basically on house arrest after their parents found something? How did you handle it?

WHAT WOULD YALL DO HOW CAN I POSSIBLY GAIN FREEDOM AGAIN

My dad is pissing me off . I don’t think he even understood what I was sayin so when he asked my brother and his gf who attend the school now about the foundational course he said your not on top of things they said they were able to take that course and other courses at the same time. I was told you have to complete that foundational course before you can start actual classes isn’t that true ? I passed everything with a 260 and up besides math on the first try so I have to take the math course unless I try to retest