I Feel Like I Failed My Parents Over the SAT
The first time I took the SAT I got a 1330. I got yelled at for about 3 hours by my parents(the goal is a 1560+), and my relationship with them became pretty strained for a while after. And this time I got a 1380. I have yet to tell them my score, and they've been asking me if they have come out. I am not ready to go through this again, so I have told them they haven't come out yet. But I am telling them this weekend. However, I just don't want to go through their lectures and have such a strained relationship with them. I'm scared it will be worse this time because time is running low, and they believe I have studied a lot and I had minimal improvement.
If I'm being honest I didn't really study both times, and though I have no excuses I always hit really bad depressive episodes, or bad anxiety attacks and ended up pushing back studying. Of course, it was really my fault so I should take ownership for it, but I'm still really anxious and scared to tell them. The problem is, I can't really tell them I didn't study, and I know they would not understand my mental health issues either. Although I am diagnosed, they have yet to even acknowledge it. Maybe it has to do with East Asian Culture, and not really understanding mental health, but I already know I cannot explain to them my struggles with SAT. I just don't know what to do...
I'm disappointed with myself, and I am scared for my own future and I just don't need screaming parents, or parents that will discipline me. I just can't handle it. I really don't know what to do, or what to even tell them, or how to go about telling them...